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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DH & FIL

33 replies

Popcicle123 · 13/07/2018 03:22

Hi

Need some advice. My in laws live abroad & we r visiting for the week arrived today with DH & DC 8 & 5. We visit every 2 years & normally hire a car & take DC car seats with us. This year my MIL is away for the week we r here, so it was decided between my DH & FIL that there was no reason for us to hire a car as we'd all fit in his. They live in middle of no where so really need a car. I didn't think much of it but when we arrived today my FIL is driving my DH in passenger seat as hes 6' 4' DC in car seats in back & there's no seat belt in middle back seat where I'm sitting. (Im 5ft) I'm furious I wasn't pre warned this& think it's too dangerous. My DH & FIL think I'm being a bit OTT & it's only short journeys we'll be doing but I'm properly scared. Driving in this country is a bit crazy & im nervous. AIBU to insist we hire our own car?

OP posts:
FeckTheMagicDragon · 13/07/2018 03:24

Make your DH sit in the back

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2018 03:25

I would never ride in a car without a seatbelt. Period. End of story. This is your life and safety we're talking about. Your husband is being a twat to even consider this.

Zommum · 13/07/2018 03:27

Insist DH sits in the back. I would refuse to get in the car. Can you hire a car on your own?

Moussemoose · 13/07/2018 03:27

Middle of the rear seat is very dangerous. They are being very careless with your life.

Original poster
Popcicle123 · 13/07/2018 03:28

Thank you so much I was beginning to think I was being a bit precious but I agree it's too dangerous. I would make him sit in the back but I honestly don't think he'd fit.

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 13/07/2018 03:30

If he won't fit then he should have thought about that before merrily putting your life at risk.

ManyCrisps · 13/07/2018 03:30

You don’t a seatbelt in the back that’s why there’s no sensors for seatbelts in the back

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2018 03:30

And by the way, you being unrestrained is incredibly dangerous for your children, husband and FIL. Should you get into an accident, your body becomes a projectile that could kill them.

Original poster
Popcicle123 · 13/07/2018 03:34

He says he didn't know there wasn't a seat belt in the middle either. I do think his parents should have warned us before we arrived & they advised us there would be no need for us to hire our own car. All his Mum said was it would be a bit of a squeeze but no mention of no seatbelt

OP posts:
EmiliaAirheart · 13/07/2018 03:42

Add me to the strong replies here saying you need a seatbelt like everyone else in the car does. It’s non-negotiable. It’s not only your safety, but that of everyone else in the car too - like in this video: m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-9JR2P4wWI

I get that it’s hard when you’re up against cultural pressure, and I’ve been in exactly the same situation as you. But you really need to put your foot down and rent the car yourself if you need to, or absolutely refuse to get in their car even for a minute and you’ll just stay behind if need be. He has to understand you’re deadly fucking serious.

timeisnotaline · 13/07/2018 03:47

You need a seat belt too. I do believe your dh didn’t know there wasn’t one. But now he does, hire a car.

Hidingtonothing · 13/07/2018 03:58

God no, YANBU. You definitely need to hire a car, it's not safe for any of you to travel with you unrestrained.

AmericanEskimoDoge · 13/07/2018 04:08

I wouldn't be happy without a seat belt.

Anyway, traveling will be more comfortable if you're not packed in like sardines-- and having an extra car means you won't have to worry about possible schedule conflicts (FIL's vs. your family's).

emmyrose2000 · 13/07/2018 04:23

I would absolutely refuse point blank to get into a car that didn't have a seatbelt for every passenger.

I would be hiring my own car or getting on the next plane home, with my children.

Your H, FIL and MIL are vile for thinking this is okay and being willing to play Russian roulette with your life.

Longdistance · 13/07/2018 05:29

I’d get fil to drive you to the car hire place to pick up a car. It was his and mil idea for you not to hire one. Sounds like you’d have a miserable time otherwise.

KinkyAfro · 13/07/2018 07:27

manycrisps what?

mum11970 · 13/07/2018 07:34

If there is no seatbelt In the middle it would suggest to me that it was a four seater car, not a five. What make and age is the car?

EmUntitled · 13/07/2018 07:34

@manycrisps

By "sensor" do you mean the beeping noise that goes off when you are sat in the front seat without the belt done up?

They don't have those sensors in the back because they realise that people might be using the back seat for luggage or car seats rather than sitting in them. If the rear seats had seatbelt slams they would be going off if you put the shopping in the back seat, for example.

It does not mean you don't need a seatbelt in the back. That is ridiculous. You should always wear a seatbelt in a car.

EmUntitled · 13/07/2018 07:35

*seatbelt alarms

MadeForThis · 13/07/2018 07:44

Not every car seats 3 people in the back. Some smaller cars only have 2 seats in the back that's why there are only 2 seatbelts.

You are not sitting in a proper seat. Unrestrained you could fly through the windshield of a crash happened. Or do serious damage to other passengers.

I would hire a car. It's not worth the risk. Or travel without FIL every time.

RedSkyLastNight · 13/07/2018 07:46

Completely off the topic, but if you only visit every 2 years, why are you visiting for a week that MIL is away??

Donna1001 · 13/07/2018 07:52

@manycrisp

You absolutely do need a seat belt in the back! It’s the law.

My car has a notifier on the dash if there’s someone on that seat & no seatbelt on, as does my husband’s.

extinctspecies · 13/07/2018 08:05

Have you checked that there isn't a middle seat belt tucked under the seat? I have had cars where it used to get jammed behind the seat if it wasn't used much. Worth having a look.

What sort of car is it?

bimbobaggins · 13/07/2018 08:05

It might not be the law in the country they are visiting.

I wouldn’t be happy with this at all and wouldn’t go in the car without a seatbelt. Can you hire a car?

SockMatchmaker · 13/07/2018 08:07

I hope Manycrisps was joking?
Of course you need a seatbelt, just tell them if there is a crash you’ll fly forward, if they’re ‘lucky’ you’ll just go through the windscreen. If they’re not so lucky you’ll crush them to death.
Does anyone remember that awful (but effective) safety add where the boy in the back seat crushes his mum? Horrible.

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