To tell the truth?

[Rozzzzzalmost35]

I'd rather not, but I can't think of an excuse. Anyway, DH and I are on a family holiday and we are in bunk beds at a friend's b&b. Went to dtd for the first time since having ds2 (who is nearly six months) and he sat up quickly, bashing my head off the top bunk while simultaneously head butting me, rendering my nose broken. How on earth do I explain my two black eyes and squinty nose to my friend in the morning, and to the greater world when I return home???

Say you walked into a door?

Taken up vigilantism/part time superhero?

Swan dived into an empty pool?

Epic night of mortal drinking, and woke up like it?

Trampled by a herd of wildebeest?

World cup fever took over and you tried to head a football?

Just say "shagging injury" with a smug grin.

You fell off the top bunk when you got up to go for a wee in the night.

Are your friends in the b&b too? They might have heard the bang (so to speak!)

You waited 6 months and then couldn't wait until the deed could be done anywhere but in a bunk bed?

Ouch.

Bonk beds.

Bonk beds !! Amazing.

Yeah these are good but not sure how I can tell any of them with a straight face. My friend owns the b&b so is putting us up for the week....I am really quite annoyed about it as we didn't actually get to dtd

Don’t tell the truth. You’ll be known by various nicknames for the rest of your life.

Does DH have any injuries?

@c3pu he just has a very bruised.......

......ego

Sorry last comment was for @frasier

After reading this, i now wnat to say its the funnyiest thing that i have read on here.... have got the giggles!!
(says she who one accidently broke bonkbed whilst DTD!!!)

@wikedminx sadly we didn't even get far enough to break the bonkbeds...just my poor nose

That is a fantastic sex injury, the worst I have ever had is carpet burns! You can use that story fir years at dinner parties! Or probably, just say you fell out of bed!

you could say it was the baby, my child kicked me in the face at six month left me with a bloody nose which caused black eyes and a bust lip.

You've got to agree on a story you can giggle about together. Otherwise someone will be uneasy about whether your (presumably nice) H is abusive.

Tell the truth - no one will believe you!

Could you say that you heard ds crying/coughing/etc and both sat up /got up quickly, and crashed into each other in the darkness, in your haste to make sure ds1 didn't disturb anyone else?

If you make up a story, everyone will assume that it's domestic violence. If you admit that you were having incautious sex, everyone will think it's funny. Personally, I'd prefer the latter.

Have you been to A&E yet?

yep echo a pp - if you tell a lie people will assume it is DV. If you tell the truth then people will know it is true as no one would possibly make up a story like that to cover up DV.

Bunk beds!!! Ha ha ha!

This happened to a colleague of mine. Her OH accidentally headbutted her while they were ahem. I’d guess your friend has seen worse tbh.

Well I actually broke my nose by face butting the wall next to a bed because I forgot which side to get out of so say that?