How do I break into my own house??!

[WittyJack]

I took the kids to the shops. “d”p has fallen asleep in our short absence and has left the chain on the front door. I don’t have a back door key. Numerous calls, texts, banging on various windows and doors and beeping the car horn loudly have failed to wake him. I can see him on the sofa, so I know he’s there/there’s nothing funny going on - he just sleeps like the bloody dead.

And I am stuck with a 3 year old and a baby. Luckily my dad is in, so I’ve driven over there for the moment, but I really don’t want to have to spend the night here with two kids and no nappies/toothbrush/cot/clean clothes for work, nursery tomorrow etc etc.

How can I get in???! Any ideas?

He can’t sleep that soundly .

Surely he’ll wake eventually. Have you text him? Any windows open? Dad got a ladder?!

Well what a plonker he is! Is there anywhere you can insert a large poking device like with dead naked guy in Friends? The kids might enjoy the spectacle

call the house? his mobile?

Are none of the windows open? Send the 3 year old in to wake him?

Scream through the letterbox or something. Seriously, contemplating breaking into your own house because your dh has nodded off is insane
Is this going to be a live update thread full of ‘!!!!’s ?
Get a grip.

He can - and does - sleep through the phone and the doorbell. I have rung numerous times and sent some increasingly irate messages. He will wake up of course. But probably not until much later on and it’s already past bedtime - and both DC are very overexcited by the change in routine - the last thing I want to be doing is camping out in my dad’s spare room with two babies that won’t sleep and no gear for them or me...

Maybe a locksmith for the back door is the way forward. I’m going to be on here tomorrow asking for creative ways to kill him...

What kind of lock on the back door?

Rap on the window with a coin!

Should wake him!

Greyhound - you’re spectacularly unhelpful. You can check my posting history. I don’t do drama threads with live updates. I just thought someone might have a bright idea about opening the chain from the outside or something that didn’t involve me juggling two kids with no gear or paying for a locksmith.

Can’t possibly get up to the open window - nothing open on ground floor; the only open ones are upstairs. And banging on the nearest window to his head and shouting did nothing. I know he’s tired because he’s been doing a load of physical work in the garden today, but

Can you crack open the front door, but the chain blocks it from fully opening?
I can fit my hand through the gap and slide the chain open if I really try. Or ask a strong neighbour to shoulder barge the chain off?

It’s a Yale lock on the back door. I’m going to make sure I have a key for it on my ring in the future.

I knocked on the window with my car keys - it would have woken me at half the volume!

Is your DH ok? I'd be worried about someone 'sleeping' through that.

Can you borrow a ladder from your dad/friend and get through the upstairs window?

Down - yes - I also have a sore nose from doing exactly that, as I wasn’t expecting the chain to be on, so bashed right into it! I can get my hand around the crack but I just couldn’t manage to slide it open - it’s one of those with a flat link in the middle rather than one with a thicker end that you slide in, if you see what I mean.

Thank god my dad is feeding the older one pizza, so she can’t believe her luck - I know it could be worse. I’m just so mad right now!

DP does need to see the dr. He’s very overtired but he also drinks a bit too much (I know he hasn’t had anything today, however, as I’ve been with him all day save for the half an hour trip to the supermarket) and he’s overweight. He’s started snoring really heavily in recent months too. I do wonder if he’s developing apnoea. The problem is that he just won’t go to the dr. He insists he’s just tired.

Is it a chain? As in could you see if your dad has some kind of cutter to break the chain.. then use said cutters on your oh! Seriously my oh has locked me out a few times once at 11 at night after a 12 hour shift when he had literally been texting me during my bus journey home and when I got there he had started a game of fifa and didn't answer my calls or extreme hammering on the door until 1 hour later when I literally lost my shit in ways I never have before!!

Neighbour with a saw? Poke the saw through the gap and cut the metal links?

I’d be furious!! Any little windows open you could stick a hosepipe through?

There's a way to open a Yale lock with with plastic bottle

You can use a credit card to get into a Yale locked door, OP.

Bolt croppers for the chain? Might be the cheapest option

Have you got a rubber band?

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D7INIRLe7x0Y&ved=0ahUKEwidrN-Pi4bcAhVQfMAKHTixAWwQtwIIHTAA&usg=AOvVaw1IvS9FZgFJFi9ns6yjbT-C" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D7INIRLe7x0Y&ved=0ahUKEwidrN-Pi4bcAhVQfMAKHTixAWwQtwIIHTAA&usg=AOvVaw1IvS9FZgFJFi9ns6yjbT-C

If link doesn't work, use "Defeating a sliding chain lock using a rubber band" on YouTube

Dad doesn’t have tools any more - he’s 80 and got rid of them when he downsized - but i can text the neighbour. Would wire cutters do it maybe?

I know i’m overreacting. It’s just that DD is such a nightmare about going to bed at the moment. If I can’t wake him or cut the chain, it’ll be a long hot shit night of trying to feed one and keep the other in bed, urgh.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent!

Dad will have rubber bands and I have a credit card and a plastic bottle - watching link now thanks!