How do I break into my own house??!

[WittyJack]

I took the kids to the shops. “d”p has fallen asleep in our short absence and has left the chain on the front door. I don’t have a back door key. Numerous calls, texts, banging on various windows and doors and beeping the car horn loudly have failed to wake him. I can see him on the sofa, so I know he’s there/there’s nothing funny going on - he just sleeps like the bloody dead.

And I am stuck with a 3 year old and a baby. Luckily my dad is in, so I’ve driven over there for the moment, but I really don’t want to have to spend the night here with two kids and no nappies/toothbrush/cot/clean clothes for work, nursery tomorrow etc etc.

How can I get in???! Any ideas?

Breaking a window may be cheaper than a locksmith. Does your dad have a glass cutter?

fire brigade - your worried about your husband ARNT YOU - got it?

Do NOT phone the fire brigade ffs.

Oh for fucks sake DO NOT PHONE THE FIRE BRIGADE.

Seriously what fucking planet are people on

I would possibly get your DC to shout through the letterbox or anywhere that could be heard easier. Get DC to shout 'help daddy, help'

Even I had to smile at that. He’ll be in more danger when he wakes up.

I’m going to let DD play with my dad/watch tv for a bit and if he’s not woken up full of contrition by 8.30 i’ll see if I have any chance of rubber banding it, at least if the police find me, they might open the door, eh??!

That post is breathtakingly stupid (as well as barely literate), mumsastudent

Don't call the bloody fire brigade, what a fucking waste of their time and resources!

If you can't get the chain off, it's wait it out or break some glass.

He needs to see the doc. Would he wake up if you were out and he fell asleep with the kids at home and one was crying? Doesn't sound like it!

Why the fuck did he put the chain on when you were out??

And yes, he MUST see a doctor.

Have any of your neighbours got long ladders? Builder? Roofers? Sky fitters?
Anyone like that, who could climb through the open bedroom window's?

Could you pick the back door lock?

Boring update - I calmed down and decided to accept the inevitable and bunk down at dad’s. Both kids were screaming for ages with excitement and tiredness and of course DD wanted the one thing I couldn’t give her - bloody daddy!!

Anyway he’s just woken up and called me, naturally 2 mins after they both fell asleep, so we’re heading home now. He has to go to the dr ASAP, as i’m more concerned than cross now. It’s not normal to sleep that heaciky

Thanks all!

Download an air horn app and push your phone through the letterbox.

He sounds like a total loser! Why did he need to put the chain on the door anyway? So selfish!

That’s the real question, actually. Op took the kids to the shops and he put the chain on before she came back?? Sounds almost unbelievable, really...

Why the need for the chain being on when you left? Was he knecking some alcohol after you left?

I was only gone for a maximum of half an hour and he knew that. He put the chain on the door because he was going in and out of the back with rubbish and it was banging. Then he sat down on the sofa to wait for us and fell asleep. Now I’ve calmed down and he’s so apologetic he’s nearly tearful, I can see he was up several times in the night with DD last night and then he was up early with her as well, and then he spent ages in the garden - it’s not surprising he was tired.

BUT he needs to see a dr. I don’t know if it’s his ears or generally not keeping healthy or nothing, but it’s not normal to sleep that soundly, however many bags of weeds you’ve slashed and hauled!

Got an accusation you want to come out and make, greyhound? Otherwise i’m Reporting you for troll hunting.

The door was banging? Doesn’t it actually close without the chain on? How do you lock it from the outside?

Troll hunting? Be my guest .

No, it doesn’t close quite properly yet. There’s a big gap at the bottom. We’re mid building works, that’s why there’s so much rubbish and garden crap to move.

Chapter and verse, we’re actually v cross with the builder as it’s a brand new door, and they’ve clearly fucked it up. But they’re insisting it’s fine even though there’s a massive gap and it bangs/rattles

Surely he could have taken the chain off though, once he'd finished going out the back? Seeing as he knew you'd just nipped to the shop? Utterly selfish of him to just zonk out with no regard for you.

Open the front door and rattle it like crazy against the chain (breaking in noises might actually register as different and worrying through his sleep). If that doesn’t work, shoulder barge or kick it in, aiming at the level where the chain is. It’s amaxing how many chains can be overcome by force. (I’ve had to do this twice - when I’d left by the side door).

Yep, he knows that. He’s honestly feeling really guilty about it. It’s as simple as he forgot the chain was on, sat down to wait for us, and passed out. As I said, I could actually see him through the window to rub salt into the wound, so I do know he wasn’t doing anything more dodgy than sleeping! Had he been upstairs I might have been more cynical.

Anyway we’ve agreed he’ll pay for me to have a massage tomorrow, so that’s a start!

Thanks Battleax, that might work if it happens again (i’ve already put a back door key on my ring now!). The rubber band trick wouldn’t have worked sadly, given how our chain and lock are on the inside.

Actually I say sadly, but I suppose that’s a good thing...