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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect friend to pay share?

54 replies

bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:11

6 weeks ago a friend asked if she could come camping with me and another friend (friend B). Ofcourse i said yes and we booked 2 pitches. I paid deposit and told said friend (lets call her A) that it was £22.50 for the 2 nights. All fine.
On Monday i checked with A that all was fine for weekend, her reply yep!!!
On wednesday she said her mate had just had a baby and she wasnt well so may not be able to make it BUT she would pay her share. This was fine by me as I wouldnt have booked 2 pitches if she hadnt have wanted to come.
Yesterda A says she aint coming and would pay me in morning.
Today A totally avoids me at school so i text her to ask if she has the money and she sent back a text saying i was money grabbing and she shouldnt have to pay as she aint coming!#

Let me explain. If it was just me and friend B we just book 1 pitch for our 8 man tent which would cost £32.50 for 2 nights so split between us would mean a whole weekend for just £16.25. Becasue friend A was coming we booked 2 pitches so we could have 2 tents! This meant cost was £65 for the 2 pitches for 2 nights and split between 3 meant £21.60 each. NOW we only need one pitch and cant cancel other as too little notice so i am gonna have to pay her share too thus this weekend will now cost me £43 ish. I cant ask friend B to pay friend As share as friend A and freind B have never met!
So am i unreasonable to expect her to still pay her share?

OP posts:
Debbiethemum · 25/05/2007 12:14

Friend A should pay her share

fireflyfairy2 · 25/05/2007 12:15

Did she know that she would still have to pay even if she hadn't went?

I think she should pay. Unles you can get someone else to take her place?

lulumama · 25/05/2007 12:16

she said she would pay you

she agreed to pay

she said she was coming

she said she wasn;t coming, but she would pay you

and now you are money grabbing??

sounds like she had no intention of coming, and she should pay, but sounds like you will have a battle on your hands

is she a good friend? worth losing over £22

ArcticRoll · 25/05/2007 12:16

She should definately pay.

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:17

yes she offered to pay on wednesday so dont understand where this outburst has come from TBH. She knew we had booked an extra pitch because she was coming! Dont know anyone else who would come TBH. What annoys me more is that we bought electric hook up 4 weeks ago and tried to change pitches to ones with electirc hookup but they only had 1 pitch left and we didnt want to be too far from each other so we decided to stay on normal pitch!

OP posts:
tinymum · 25/05/2007 12:18

Friend A should pay, the cheeky mare.

lulumama · 25/05/2007 12:18

maybe she had put the money aside, tehn spent it, and is embarrased?

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:19

TBH we only really know each other via school and she has been helping out with school issues as she is parent governer. Its not the money really but the principal. She knows i dont have alot of money! How she can call me money grabbing i dont know especailly when ive just given her all my units out of my lounge for nothing!

OP posts:
Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:33

fell sick about this now TBH. Really cant afoord to pay her share but looks like im gonna have too and worst thing is i gotta face her at school. Why do i feel so bad when i havent done anything wrong!

OP posts:
LittleMissPositive · 25/05/2007 12:38

Bonkerz - she should pay. And she is not a good friend, clearly, if she called you money grabbing .
Sounds like you did her a favour letting her come in the first place, after she invited herself. Send her an invoice!

Not unreasonable at all.

dmo · 25/05/2007 12:53

not fair at all
get the camp site to send her an invoice for the pitch that was booked for her (if she is going to be a witch get her to pay for the whole none used pitch herself)
not your concern enjoy your weekend

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:55

problem is that i paid £20 deposit to secure site and its in my name and when i rang the site they said i will have to pay for both pitches! Will see what they say tomorrow. What a bummer though. Definately not gonna be able to do some of the activities i had planned due to huge shortage of money!

OP posts:
dmo · 25/05/2007 12:56

cow

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:57

me?

OP posts:
dmo · 25/05/2007 13:01

no her

your not a cow bonkerz

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 13:09

phew! thans DMO.

I feel so stupid now cos ive obviously been done! I try to avoid people like this and i fee; i have completely misjudged her now.

OP posts:
DixiePixie · 25/05/2007 13:24

Maybe someone has got to her, like a dp?

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she just doesn't properly understand that her refusing to pay has put you out of pocket? Maybe send her a simple text explaining just how much you would have had to pay if you hadn't booked space for her and how much you now have to pay.

If after you calmly and rationally explain the situation again she still refuses, then it sounds like you are dealing with a self-absorbed, selfish witch!

It's not on for her to mess you about and then expect you to be penalised for it.

YANBU

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 14:00

thanks dixie. Looks like im dealing with the latter! Text her to just explain cost with and without her and got the reply SO WHAT!!!!!!!
Im dreading school run. Dont want to fight. Am resigned to fact i will have to pay. Feel very stupid for trusting this person and thinking she was a friend.

OP posts:
dmo · 25/05/2007 14:04

hope she has a horrid weekend and the kids are screaming all the time.
all bad things come to those

DixiePixie · 25/05/2007 14:06

Wow - that took my breath away - really on your behalf.

Sounds like you're better off without her "friendship". Just remember, hold your head up high at the school gates. You have NOTHING to feel bad about. You are the decent, reasonable person, she is the witch!

dmo · 25/05/2007 14:29

yes she is the one that should be hiding not you

45daysincaptivity · 25/05/2007 14:34

Spell it out for her - politely, but all the same. The weekend would have cost you x, there's no way you can get a refund, sorry but I'd really appreciate it if you could please cover the cost of your reservation.

fireflyfairy2 · 25/05/2007 15:18

Don't rely on text!

Call her. It's your money!! Why the hell should you spend it on an empty pitch???

I sure as hell wouldn't!!

Tell her that her stupid faffing about has cost you money & she needs to pay it!

littleolwinedrinkerme · 25/05/2007 15:21

Why don't you send her a copy of the T&C's of the booking from the campsite (I'm sure they must have some) to confirm to her the money is still payable and you are defo not being unreasonable? If that doesn't work then just punch her - idiot.

compo · 25/05/2007 15:23

She's definitely out of order. Even if it was an honest mistake and she didn't realise she'd still have to pay she didn't have to call you money grabbing.
I agree with whoever else said that her dh/dp/ her mum or someone has said ot her it's out of order she has to pay because the sudden uturn is very odd.
I would call and explain