Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect friend to pay share?

54 replies

bonkerz · 25/05/2007 12:11

6 weeks ago a friend asked if she could come camping with me and another friend (friend B). Ofcourse i said yes and we booked 2 pitches. I paid deposit and told said friend (lets call her A) that it was £22.50 for the 2 nights. All fine.
On Monday i checked with A that all was fine for weekend, her reply yep!!!
On wednesday she said her mate had just had a baby and she wasnt well so may not be able to make it BUT she would pay her share. This was fine by me as I wouldnt have booked 2 pitches if she hadnt have wanted to come.
Yesterda A says she aint coming and would pay me in morning.
Today A totally avoids me at school so i text her to ask if she has the money and she sent back a text saying i was money grabbing and she shouldnt have to pay as she aint coming!#

Let me explain. If it was just me and friend B we just book 1 pitch for our 8 man tent which would cost £32.50 for 2 nights so split between us would mean a whole weekend for just £16.25. Becasue friend A was coming we booked 2 pitches so we could have 2 tents! This meant cost was £65 for the 2 pitches for 2 nights and split between 3 meant £21.60 each. NOW we only need one pitch and cant cancel other as too little notice so i am gonna have to pay her share too thus this weekend will now cost me £43 ish. I cant ask friend B to pay friend As share as friend A and freind B have never met!
So am i unreasonable to expect her to still pay her share?

OP posts:
Twiglett · 25/05/2007 15:24

agree with firefly.. don't text her, speak to her .. it is easy to be rude / brusque in text .. not as easy as in person / on the phone

'Hello A, I'm sorry but I simply can't afford to pay your £42 for your pitch and the campsite won't accept cancellation."

see what she says .. leave it an open quesiton not a closed or a threatening one .. she needs to be given a way out of the corner she's backed into

fireflyfairy2 · 25/05/2007 15:31

I would actually call asap.

I'd want it sorted now, before I go, otherwise she will let it lie & never bother paying her share.

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 17:58

thanks all. Rang her after she didnt turn up at school. Politely asked if she was ok and then said that im worried how we are going to sort this mess out. Told her again i cant afford to pay. Asked her if she wanted me to call over for the money or would she drop it off........REPLY was ......... oH JUST F##K OFF and she put the phone down!!!

So thats it ive had it. DH says i think the best of people too much! I do feel completely stupid for trusting her but its done now. She obviously isnt going to pay so i will just sort it and get on and have a good weekend all be it a quieter one than had been planned!

OP posts:
colditz · 25/05/2007 18:01

she's done you a favour really - would you want to spend the weekend with someone so selfish?

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 18:03

Im just upset cos i didnt think she was like this. Admittedly i havent spent ages with her or in her company before but i thought we were friends and her kids are great!

OP posts:
pirategirl · 25/05/2007 18:10

I'd be bloody livid, and above all hurt, as I trust people, well you do dont you, when they say, 'yeah go ahead and book'

Embarrassed cos she's got no money, or whatever, she should NOT be calling you names and swearing at you.

god what a cow. Its hard, cos the innocent party, always ends up feeling somehow worse, its like 'what have I done'.

Well you have done nothing wrong.

I'll send you a fiver towards it, if you have a paypal.x

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 18:13

ah that is lovely pirate thankyou but im sure we will cope.
Definately right about me feeling worse than she does i expect although she didnt turn up to pick her kids from school till gone 20 past and her DD was wandering around playground looking for her mummy as A is always there early! maybe she is embarrassed BUT i dont know why she cant just say im sorry i dont have the money!!!

OP posts:
pirategirl · 25/05/2007 18:18

yes, thats the point isnt it, a little courtesy, not a rant at you. School gates, sometimes I loathe them, same old same old, and ok, great to see some mums. With others, it can be a case of 'oh god so and so is on the approach, I must find something really interseting in my bag for a moment'

Do you have half term this coming week, at least then you wouldnt have to bother worrying about her??

colditz · 25/05/2007 18:19

maybe something absolutely devastating happened to her in between you booking the pitch and her saying she didn't want to go, and she realised she couldn't pay you and is really upset about what has happened, and is now really embarrassed?

Original poster
bonkerz · 25/05/2007 18:19

yeah dont have to face her now for a week!

Have just had a mte round who said she had been speaking to A and wanted my side. Apparently this isnt the3 first timew A has done this and she owes alot of people money and is always letting people down.

How could i have been so silly!!!

OP posts:
oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 25/05/2007 18:23

Id forget the money and her. Just be thankful you discovered what a cow she is before you got too involved with her. you're well out of it.

mummytosteven · 25/05/2007 18:28

YANBU. She sounds pretty abysmal, and as if you have got off lightly been £20 down.

tinymum · 27/05/2007 09:14

Well, she has lost a good friend in you, now, hasn't she. Sorry to hear theres been no happy resolution.

allgonebellyup · 27/05/2007 10:48

God, what a total bitch...you are better off without her,just try to hold your head up at school and rise above it all..

Genidef · 27/05/2007 11:04

I am so angry for you bonkerz. I would be so tempted to take her to small claims court - just to be difficult!!! Wouldn't, but would be very tempted!!

CristinaTheAstonishing · 27/05/2007 11:25

Of course she should pay her share. What a cheek.

helenhismadwife · 27/05/2007 14:38

YANBU She has shown herself not to be a friend at all, real friends dont do this if she has money problems she should tell you not be abusive she sounds like a parasitic loser nobody needs or wants someone like her around.
I hope she does the decent thing but she doesnt sound like someone who will unfortunately

Original poster
bonkerz · 27/05/2007 20:10

thanks all! Her DH rang me last night saying she had been sobbing and crying because of me. He proceeded to rant at me and say that he was going to pay me but feels I have acted in a unreasonable way by expecting the money!!!!!!!!!!! When i told him what his wife had said and called me he changed his tune BUT has given me and altermatum (sp) either i make up with his wife OR he wont pay me!!

As far as im concerned my weekends over, ive managed to pay for it so END OF STORY.....

OP posts:
helenhismadwife · 27/05/2007 20:18

you should have said to her dh 'just f@@k off' and say thats what your dear wife said to me before she put the phone down now tell me Im being unreasonable!!! I think I would have told him to stick the money where the sun doesnt shine as you have managed to pay it and that you really dont need people like that in your life.

Original poster
bonkerz · 27/05/2007 20:48

i told him what his wife had said and he just said...well i dont know about that i wasnt with her!!! It was after i told him that that he started to back off about me being unreasonable!!! I did say that its over now cos ive paid BUT he said he will ring me tomorrow to see what i wanna do about his wife!!!!!!

OP posts:
Genidef · 27/05/2007 21:10

I feel like we're going to see your "friend" featured on a Neighbours from Hell programme some time or another.

Justaboutmanaging · 27/05/2007 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helenhismadwife · 27/05/2007 21:34

I think I would be inclined to depending on my mood either ignore his call, put the phone down on him or just say I would like my money back as it is owed to me but I am not prepared to jump through hoops for it, your wife was offensive and I dont think that is any basis at all for a friendship.
or you could just say 'f@@k off'

dmo · 27/05/2007 22:20

hope you had a good weekend weather has not been to bad here this weekend

tinymum · 28/05/2007 08:26

I agree with Helenhismadwife, you shouldn't have to do ANYTHING to get your money back. She should of given it to you in the first place. And whats her husband getting involved for anyway?