The best option for my inevitable death

[anditgoes]

I have a light bed sheet over my legs and feet and I'm creating some sort of heat trap - which is going to kill me.

I remove my bed sheet and the demon murderer under my bed reaches up to grab my feet - intending to kill me.

I know he's waiting for me, I can't last much longer under this sheet.

AIBU to ask wwyd?

Should I buy a divan?

No part of the bedding over you equals certain death.

There's nothing to be done I'm in same position.

WWID?

Take my meds.

I thought that I was the only one who had to sleep covered up in fear of something grabbing my feet! Now I'm thinking about it I can't sleep though

Sorry to bring it up, I don't know why this isn't a more spoken about issue. Pretty sure the murderer under my bed is Jack the Ripper - people need to be aware that no exposed ankle is safe.

@Littleredboat that's the best reply I could have asked for

I’d kip on the sofa! I’m the same I know that damn murderer will get me so i just sweat it out instead lol! 😂

Pop the sheet in the freezer for a bit?

Lie on your side with the sheet over your top half then between your legs, with enough slack to cover your arse, but your " top" leg exposed. Cuddle a bit of sheet under your chin.
This satisfies both the need to be covered, is enough to stop the bogeyman, and lets you be cool.

Put a damp sheet on the bed, instant cooling and will put the murderer off, it's a well known fact that that they cannot abide damp

Sleep under the bed, that'll flummox him.

Currently sitting by the freezer waiting for my sheet to freeze. @PomBearWithoutHerOFRS I'll give that a go, I don't usually sleep on my side but if it keeps the murderer at bay I will definitely try.

@catwrangler are you actually crazy?

Tuck a bit over your shoulder to fool your head into thinking you're covered up.

I feel your pain OP. I am a very sweaty, heat-hating person most of the time never mind in this heat. But I always sleep with the sheets off, even my feet are uncovered . I haven't managed to be murdered yet. Am I immune to demons/murderers attacking me or are they lulling me into a false sense of security so they can attack me when I'm completely defenceless and unsuspecting?

You think you have issooes, lol try sleeping with 6 cats and half covered with sheets
Self harm has nothing on me

This may be crazy, but light weight socks that cover the ankle? That way if the murderer grabs an ankle you can jerk your foot out of his grasp and all he gets is sock? I have under the bed storage so no murders under the bed, sorry if this is way off base.

Buy a fan!

Also is it worth being being murdered by insane Home invaders just to get a drink in the middle of the night? And what about being eaten by a shower monster when you need to pee? Do we just wait it out until the light comes and the crazies disappear or what? I just never know

It’s ok to have your knees showing. Your feet should obviously be covered at all times.

I used to have a cat who actually would attack uncovered feet at the end of the bed in the middle of the night - there are few things more painful than claws in the soles of your feet at 3am.

Not conducive to a good night's sleep at all (and yes, we did ban him from the bedroom, but he'd shred the landing carpet all night in an effort to dig his way in, so we didn't have much choice. He would sit on the pillow and dribble on your face to wake you up in the morning as well.

Oh I know the answer. I do, I do!

Get fat. Fatter. Very fat. Like me. Then you absolutely KNOW that should the monster (Jack) be under there, you can simply bounce energetically and the whole shebang shall collapse, thereby squashing him. To death.

I have thought about this, rather a lot. So much so that I live in fear for my poor cat, should I have a nightmare while she is rummaging under there. Mostly she is safe. Protecting my feet.

Pombear that's exac how I'm lying!!!

@SparkLee yea they're planning something big for you I'm afraid.

@insufficientlyfeminine socks in bed? I'd rather be murdered.

@applesandpears56 it's been delayed. Bloody amazon.

@FranticallyPeaceful I really don't know. I don't make the rules, only follow them.

Sheets frozen and I'm on my side with my top foot kind of tucked under the sheet and it's better.

HA, do one Jack 🖕🏼

@2018SoFarSoGreat I just lost 5 stone. In hindsight that was very stupid of me. Although at least now I stand a better chance of running away

They can still get to you through sheets, if they're there. So you might as well be cool if tonight is your night to be taken.

Does anyone wonder why women keep this float alone? It's 2018 and we are still second class citizens when is it going to end?