The best option for my inevitable death

[anditgoes]

I have a light bed sheet over my legs and feet and I'm creating some sort of heat trap - which is going to kill me.

I remove my bed sheet and the demon murderer under my bed reaches up to grab my feet - intending to kill me.

I know he's waiting for me, I can't last much longer under this sheet.

AIBU to ask wwyd?

Should I buy a divan?

Wtf?😳

You don't have one of those frames that can be used in bed to keep covers away from your lower limbs? (Yes, I fracture, strain, sprain and otherwise injure things.)

You might also want to look at underbed storage units. Practical and as an unexpected bonus, capable of leaving no hiding space for demon murderers. Unless they're non-corporea demonsl. You could store salt cellars and other anti-demon substances in the storage unit but I'm a bit hazy on deterrents for demon murderers and I wouldn't want to give you dodgy advice in my drive to appear helpful

I suggest freezing a water bottle and putting inside a pillow case, opposite of hot water bottle if you were. Nice to cuddle and you can stab murderer with home fashioned ice shard. Murder weapon will simply melt away

I definitely haven't given any thought to how I'd murder my mother using a shard of ice to get off without forensic evidence to stitch me up

I need to be covered somewhere, but my feet are ok out. I normally pull my top corner across my waist in a sort of rope and up the front, leaving upper body, arms, legs and feet free.

If I needed feet covered, i would tuck the sheet in at the bottom of the bed. Shove feet underneath tucked in bit. Pull the rest of the sheet backwards behind you in a c shape, then just pull the very top corner over your shoulders from back to front, scrunching corner tightly under chin. Fools the brain into assuming you're completely covered, in reality only feet and a tiny bit of neck and shoulders are.

All great advice, especially the demon repellent and ice stabbing. I'm not sure what this weird duvet is. Why would you buy something to purposefully keep your lower limbs exposed? The devil definitely had a part in that invention

Adopt a vicious house rabbit and keep him free range in your bedroom! Seriously, I had one and he cured any worries I had about demons under the bed - he would have demolished any such intruders in 30 seconds flat!

Just so you know, some monsters are attracted to the heat caused by sheets and duvets, etc. so you're actually more likely to be killed by covering up. They're also drawn to the smell of sweat.

Sorry. Just thought you should know.

Ah but my dear anditgoes you have misunderstood the rules.

Sheet off is ok.
Jack can only get you if you dangle hand/foot etc over the edge of the bed.

Sleep contentedly with your new knowledge!

A divan will not stop a demon murderer. They can fit into the tiniest of gaps.

Agree with PPs take your meds or, if you can’t beat him, join him. Sleep under your bed.

You should be (slovenly) like me; my under bed are is full of really old shit that one day (year) I might get round to sorting out. I mean, I won't, probably. But the thought is there. There is literally no space for Jack, or The Bogeyman and even Slenderman wouldn't be able to fit. The dust would probably kill them if they tried anyway...

*area, not are

It's not under your bed you should be worried about....

Don't look up......