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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if 5pm is too late for a wedding?

90 replies

sharkirasharkira · 13/06/2018 22:06

I've been in contact with a lovely venue in our local area and they have an opening at an affordable price on the date we want.

However, because they are a touristy place and they have to close for the day, a late afternoon/evening wedding is a lot cheaper than a midday wedding for obvious reasons! Having the ceremony and 5pm and then the reception/meal straight after (same venue) will be about £1000 less than having it at midday.

But 5pm seems quite late, doesn't it? We would only have up until 11/12 o clock at the venue so that gives a maximum of 7hrs for everything, is that long enough? I'm worried everything will feel rushed. I haven't been to a lot of weddings but most of them seem to be all day affairs and 5pm to start seems like most of the day is gone!

Aibu to think this might be too late?

OP posts:
MsFrizzle · 13/06/2018 22:09

Or you could think of it as a lovely balmy evening wedding! The only issue I can really see is if you have a lot of people not local who'd have to travel home very late - you can always rent out a pub or something for a reception if you think your family will go past midnight.

UAEMum · 13/06/2018 22:10

Congratulations on your engagement! I think a lot of weddings that last all day have a wedding breakfast and then an evening do. You will have one big do after the ceremony so dont need as much time. I think save the money for something special. Personally i find all day weddings drawn out.

WhereIsBlueRabbit · 13/06/2018 22:11

I've been to a few 4pm weddings which worked really well. If you like the venue, go for it!

LadyLucille · 13/06/2018 22:13

Best wedding I ever went to was at 4.30 (in winter)

Dark outside (was winter), candlelight venue.... was absolutely breathtaking.

Definitely has potential doing it later in the day

Congratulations!

LadyLucille · 13/06/2018 22:13

Sorry for the ‘winter’ repeat!

AmazingPostVoices · 13/06/2018 22:14

I think if it’s a smallish wedding and there aren’t any small children involved that could actually be lovely.

It wouldn’t leave you very much time for pictures would be the only thing. But you could get the photographer to take reportage style photos during the reception rather than lots of formals.

You would need someone to keep you quite sharply to time too.

I’d avoid long speeches too.

AddictedToTea · 13/06/2018 22:16

I got married at 4pm and it was great. No one had to rush to get to the venue (including us!), childcare was easier to arrange (we didn’t invite under 10s), there was no awkward milling around for ages doing very little for the guests (the bit I hate at ALL weddings - what are you supposed to DO?!) After half an hour of photos we were straight into the wedding breakfast and the ensuing party.

Littlegreyauditor · 13/06/2018 22:16

I got married at half five (in Spain, where weddings are normally late afternoon/evening). It was lovely. None of the usual hanging around that happens at weddings and everyone loved the lie in, especially me. We didn’t have a huge photo session though, just a couple outside the church and mostly casual ones later, so there was loads of time to fit everything in.

ZaZathecat · 13/06/2018 22:17

All day weddings drag a bit IMO. Had mine at 5.15 and it worked out well.

RandomMess · 13/06/2018 22:17

We married at 2pm and left at 7.30pm to go on honeymoon- was plenty long enough!

Neverender · 13/06/2018 22:17

YANBU - sounds great and you only have to feed everyone once!

SenecaFalls · 13/06/2018 22:19

My daughter's wedding was at 5 in the afternoon. It's very common to have a wedding at 4 or 5 in the afternoon in the US so I have been to many like this. The reception is right after and there is no separate "evening do." To me, it's an ideal time of day to have wedding.

Meandyouandyouandme · 13/06/2018 22:21

We got married at 4.30pm, which at the time was the latest we could do it as the ceremony had to be finished by 5.30. We did it because we could only afford to feed everyone once. It worked out great, lots of time to get ready, and it meant everyone was up for a good party as they weren’t tired from hanging around all day.

letsallhaveanap · 13/06/2018 22:22

YANBU my wedding was at 4pm and I loved that.
It was in a national trust property that could only do it at that time on that date....
Worked out really well for us though. Just went straight into the evening buffet from it and it was a very laid back but beautiful affair.

honeyishrunkthekid · 13/06/2018 22:22

For the sake of £1000 it doesn't seem worth it.
We chose different dates and saved about 6k, that was worth it. It goes quickly and there would be a lot of waiting around from guests, waiting to get started.
In my experience, the best weddings start around 2pm. But that's just personal preference

letsallhaveanap · 13/06/2018 22:23

I also loved the lie in and the lack of time pressure in getting ready at my hotel in the morning beforehand.

squidgesquodge · 13/06/2018 22:25

I loved the couple of 5pm weddings I went toZ
Plenty of time to travel there, check in to hotel, get ready etc. Go to wedding, turn up at reception just as ready for an evening drink anyway, eat dinner at a normal time, a few drinks &'a dance and all home. No risk of getting bored!

girlywhirly · 13/06/2018 22:33

My wedding was at 4.30pm on a summers day. It was fine, I agree that sometimes an all day wedding can drag for guests.

DaisyTwirl · 13/06/2018 22:42

Mine was at half 4 in the summer & was great.
No rushing around in the morning - had a lie in & leisurely getting ready, no waiting around during the day for guests & much cheaper.

Of all the weddings I've been to as a guest, I've preferred the ones that start later in the day 😊

Original poster
sharkirasharkira · 13/06/2018 22:51

I quite like the idea of a late afternoon wedding!

We aren't going to have hours of photos as neither of us really like having pictures taken so reportage style through the day would be ideal. Plus we will be DIY-ing pretty much everything so later in the day leaves plenty of time to get things ready and set up without pressure or having to rush!

All my family are travelling from elsewhere in the country so I thought they might be a bit put out and having to travel for a wedding thats only 7hrs or so but maybe we could go for a nice breakfast or something before hand to make more of a day of it? Grin

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 13/06/2018 22:55

I don't think travelling family would mind! My family have travelled from all over the country for parties/christening etc. that are far shorter than 7 hours and I have done the same. It will be nice to be fed straight after a ceremony and not have to wait around.

As long as you feel like you are happy with the time nothing else really matters.

edwinbear · 13/06/2018 22:57

We got married at 5pm. Everyone came in their evening dress (black tie, cocktail dresses). We had an evening drinks reception afterwards with Pimms, champagne and a jazz band for guests whilst we had photos taken as the sun set.

We then sat down for a 3 course dinner, which nobody was too hot to eat 😂. Then fireworks. We had the same guests throughout, nobody got tired, everyone looked beautiful.

I had plenty of time to get ready Grin. T’was brilliant

lindalee3 · 13/06/2018 23:02

I'd go! Not too late at all. Congratulations! Flowers

KittyHawke80 · 13/06/2018 23:04

It sounds good to me. As someone who has worked more weddings than they’ve had hot dinners, let me tell you that the only person who wants the day to go on and on and on, is the bride. And maybe her mum. Bordering on the self-indulgent, actually. People get too pissed and aggy; kids and old people get too tired. Everyone gets too hungry. There’ll be time for everything, honestly. With a 2:00 or 3:00 pm wedding until midnight, there’s loads of hanging about.

TheCraicDealer · 13/06/2018 23:06

My only concern would be photos, but you could do what a lot of Americans do and have a "first look"- fancy term for doing the couple photos before.

So whilst you may offically only have the venue to yourselves from 5pm presumably they'll have to clear the place of visitors and do set up. You could conceivably ask the venue to let you and the photographer in before guests arrive, do couple photos from 4:30pm or so, then ceremony at 5pm- you don't ask, you don't get. This is of course assuming that you're going for photos somewhere other than the spaces you'll be having the ceremony or meal, and you don't mind losing the aisle-surprise (I don't know if I could've tbh).

Then a few group shots after the ceremony, and meal at 6:30pm or so, ready for the evening reception/entertainment at around 8pm.

We got married at one of the palaces and had it for the whole day, but we were the last wedding there before they switched to 4pm onwards for private events. Seems most places are like that, I know the museum here are the same. My dad thought it was going to be a washout because of the comparatively early end time Hmm I think they were supposed to stop serving and start moving everyone out about 11:30pm or so, but the venue were very relaxed about it. Most of our guests just headed to the pub over the road.