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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if 5pm is too late for a wedding?

90 replies

sharkirasharkira · 13/06/2018 22:06

I've been in contact with a lovely venue in our local area and they have an opening at an affordable price on the date we want.

However, because they are a touristy place and they have to close for the day, a late afternoon/evening wedding is a lot cheaper than a midday wedding for obvious reasons! Having the ceremony and 5pm and then the reception/meal straight after (same venue) will be about £1000 less than having it at midday.

But 5pm seems quite late, doesn't it? We would only have up until 11/12 o clock at the venue so that gives a maximum of 7hrs for everything, is that long enough? I'm worried everything will feel rushed. I haven't been to a lot of weddings but most of them seem to be all day affairs and 5pm to start seems like most of the day is gone!

Aibu to think this might be too late?

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 13/06/2018 23:07

I got married abroad at 4:30 in the afternoon. Everybody was just chilling out having a normal holiday day up to about lunch time when I think people started to get ready and then sit around their finery and drink. We didn't have an evening do it was a very small wedding. It wound up about 11:30 midnight ish. Was plenty long enough.

I think your wedding plan sounds great. Most UK weddings are way too long. There always comes that point where you just milling around either getting pissed or trying not to get pissed. Theres sod all else to do between the "welcome" drink and maybe canapes whilst the couple have photos taken, and then finally the wedding breakfast.

I like the idea of having everybody to just one do and not having separate evening do second-class guests.

AtomicGlitterBomb · 13/06/2018 23:12

We were married at 5pm at an aquarium.

We paid for them to close the aquarium earlier that usual but a fraction of the cost of closing it for the day on a Saturday.

It was perfect, everything was relaxed and there was no rush or stress, we just leasurly got ready and were able to enjoy the day a lot more.
It was perfect.

LoniceraJaponica · 13/06/2018 23:18

I can't see any negatives about having a late wedfing. It's a brilliant idea.

expatinscotland · 13/06/2018 23:26

Not at all too late! Those all day weddings with some lame 'breakfast' and boring speeches and standing round for hours whilst the couple has photos are a drag. Or you get invited to some poxy 'evening do'.

Glad to see more weddings going like yours, OP.

bridgetosomewhere · 13/06/2018 23:28

We have a wedding in Spain next year that doesn’t start til 7pm!
I’m a bit miffed that I have to travel all that way and it’s only an evening. Thinking we may not take the kids as by that time in a hot place they will be shattered.
But it wouldn’t bother me for a UK wedding

WhyBeUnkind · 14/06/2018 00:26

I would much prefer it to an earlier wedding. I've been to some 4 o'clock ones that I loved and an hour later wouldn't be a problem at all. I'd keep photos short. A nice meet up the following day for the travelling relatives sounds perfect

MargaretCavendish · 14/06/2018 00:38

I massively prefer weddings that start late afternoon, and actively chose one not for cost or venue reasons but just because I think they're better. I think a lot of the common problems you get with weddings - not enough food/drink, guests hanging around for ages and getting bored, people getting overdrunk early on - come from trying to throw an 11 or 12 hour party; something you'd never normally do as a host under any other circumstance.

It does mean that evening only guests aren't an option; we didn't want to do that anyway, but lots of people do so it is worth bearing in mind.

SenecaFalls · 14/06/2018 00:41

I'd keep photos short.

I agree. With planning ahead of time (and doing as many as possible before the ceremony even if you don't have a "first look"), the formal photos after the ceremony should be done in 45 minutes to an hour, and during that time guests can be enjoying a cocktail reception prior to dinner. The weddings that I've enjoyed most are ones where it was apparent that thought had been given to making guests comfortable. So no extended periods where guests are waiting around for something to happen.

happymummy12345 · 14/06/2018 01:10

We got married at 3pm. Registry office, pictures after then straight to the reception- we had one reception, I hate separate evenings at weddings. Our wedding was small (30 people including us), so we had no problems with inviting everyone we wanted there to the ceremony and then to the reception.
The reception was in the function room of the pub where my dh worked. I'd say we got there about half 4, we didn't have a meal. It was a bit of time for everyone to get a drink, then speeches and thank you's, first dance, open the buffet. Then a bit later cut the cake, throw the bouquet, then by 7ish the formalities were over, we'd changed into our reception clothes and were enjoying the evening. It went on until closing time, then we helped tidy up the room as we wouldn't not help clear up, and went up to our room (pub is also a hotel).
It was plenty of time. I wouldn't want a long drawn out day with separate evening events. Seems so pointless.

bookishtartlet · 14/06/2018 01:30

Our wedding started at 6pm in October. All candle light and romance. We went straight in to a ceilidh, had a Burns Supper, no seating plan, no staged photos. It was so much more suited to us than a long drawn out day. Your guests have a choice as to whether or not they think it's worth the travel or Not!

Enjoy!

Dreamscomingtrue · 14/06/2018 02:01

I got married at 4pm in a church in September. Then photos outside and back to our house/garden for a marquee party. We did food/drink ourselves on a budget. Family/friends helped out with the cake and deserts. Party in garden finished around midnight. A lot of people said that it was the best wedding that they'd been to. I think that later weddings often work out better, time wise, than the early ones. More relaxed by far.

TroubledLichen · 14/06/2018 02:20

The best weddings I’ve been to have been later in the day; no rushing, no early starts, meals at meal times (each lunch before then dinner at a normal time following the ceremony and cocktail hour), no one gets sloppy day drunk and the evening do is a blast as no one is tired. I’d say go for it!

ForalltheSaints · 14/06/2018 06:57

Congratulations on your engagement. Sounds ideal, especially as it saves a night away for those travelling any distance (one night not two) and if all guests come both to the ceremony and the do afterwards.

BikeRunSki · 14/06/2018 07:09

It sounds ideal. Plenty of time to get ready and get the venue ready. Plenty of time for guests from out of town to arrive. No time for massive amounts of hanging about. One big do for everyone - no “b list” evening only guests. Sounds perfect.

Foslady · 14/06/2018 07:13

If I was a travelling guest I’d prefer it - time to travel, room booked for one night only and time to get checked in an quick change/freshen up

YessicaHaircut · 14/06/2018 07:22

Sounds good to me OP. Think of it this way - when you go to a wedding with an 11an ceremony, what are you then doing at 5, assuming there’s an evening party? Usually nothing at all, just hanging about waiting for it to start. With a later ceremony you can start the party right away! We had a 4pm ceremony and it was great, lots of guests commented that they appreciated the relaxed start to the day to get ready and there was no hanging around with nothing to do (and being hungry - a pretty common feature of all-day affairs IME). Congratulations and have a wonderful day.

NearlySchoolTimeAgain · 14/06/2018 07:28

I’ve been to one like this. Loved it! Some went onto clubs afterwards. We went to bed!

Crunchymum · 14/06/2018 07:30

Sounds perfect to me!!

MadMaryBoddington · 14/06/2018 07:32

Late afternoon weddings are great. Nobody gets bored or leaves early, and the food usually arrives at just the time you want to eat. Go for it!

MrTumblesSpottyHag · 14/06/2018 07:32

I got married at 5pm. It was awesome. We had some food available at the church hall while we had pics etc done after the ceremony then went straight to the venue and launched into the party with a big buffet. No choosing day/evening guests, very little hanging around for the guests and saved a fortune not having a sit down meal!

Sarahb1969 · 14/06/2018 07:59

Go for it!!

One of the best weddings we went to was a 4p.m. wedding two days after Christmas. All twinkling lights and candles. Everyone the couple wanted to celebrate with was there, altogether, no unnecessary fuss about decisions on who comes to day v evening.

We all meet in the hotel bar from 3 onwards (as per invite) for drinks, nibbles and mingling. Ceremony, quick photos, (30 minutes), then buffet meal with speeches etc.. It was all so relaxed and enjoyable for the bride and groom, and, therefore their guests.

Traveling guests also appreciated it as hotels often have check in from 1, so, no rushing there or asking for early check in or changing in a broom cupboard!!

We left before the end - about 9 - as we had a 4 year old to put to bed, but there was plenty of time for all the 'formal' bits and pieces before the party kicked off.

Have the wedding you want - don't stress about what anyone else wants. You will never be able to please all of the people all of the time!!

Congratulations on your engagement Flowers

laurG · 14/06/2018 08:17

We got married at 5pm And everyone loved it! A lot of people find all day weddings s drag (not all). 5plngi ds people their day to do what they want. There’s no rushing around and it’s all very calm. You have to be efficient time wise.

JennyOnAPlate · 14/06/2018 08:18

Sounds like the ideal wedding to me! One of my closest friends got married at midday on a hot summers day and it's gone down in history as one of the most boring and swelteringly sweaty days of my life Shock

anotherangel2 · 14/06/2018 08:19

For people travelling to the wedding then if will make it easier and cheaper for them to travel on the day.

critiqueofeveryday · 14/06/2018 08:21

I'd say it's about perfect if wedding and reception are at the same venue.

As PPs have said, there's far too much faffing around! Ceremony at 5 keeps it much tighter and more impactful.