if I find people like me slightly annoying...

[bohemianbint]

Ok, here's the thing. I was feeling a bit depressed a few weeks back because I don't know many people round these parts who think like I do. (I'm still bf at 9months, no plans to stop, don't want a baby walker, cook most of DS's food from scratch (but by no means all!) and use cloth nappies etc.) Anyway, so I thought the answer was to try to find like minded people and someone recommended I went to a sling meet. So I did, but I found it a bit....eurrghh. And I'm not entirely sure why and I'm a bit disappointed. Sure, it was a bit Milo/Tarquin-ish. And there were some fairly humourless discussions about how some babies remembering their births etc. So why, when I am classed as a bit of a tofu welder did I not really enjoy being in a room full of other welders? Apart from the slight unfriendliness and lack of humour?

I know exactly what you mean. I went to a group this morning where i knew people would be like me, like you infact, and I just felt really uncomfortable.
I think I do all the forementioned things, but I also find them quite funny, and laugh at myself, whereas everyone else seems to take themselves very seriously.

maybe you are only a borderline tofu welder.....anyway of course you should avoid anything with a poncey name like a sling meet. You will meet some nice people soon. Where are you? Do a shout out on here, you get all sorts.

IME the people you get on with has little to do with them making similar lifestyle choices to you. It would be a bit boring if all your friends thought exactly the same way as you do. You probably prefer a little variety.
Or maybe they were just unfriendly people who happen to do similar things to you.

I would go to the group again anyway and see if it was just a one off feeling of uncomfortableness.

Hmmm....am in Manchester. Perhaps should try to organise some Manchester based non-serious mlid tofu welding meet up.

Thinking about it, the girl who recommended said meet was a bit condescending about some people at a none lentilly meeting where I go sometimes. And there's no need really because they're all actually really nice.

Oooops, meant mild...

Welcome to the twilight zone.

I consider myself fairly allied to this sort of parenting approach. HOWEVER...AP-ers, slingers and natural parenting types generally have me gagging to put my son infront of the telly with a packet of E-Number cookies for an hour or five while I curl up for a nice read of Gina Ford. Ok, maybe not the Ford bit...

...Maybe I just mix with the wrong ones (I DO live in a particularly we-think-we're-so-bloody-trendy part of London), but they all seem to take themselves sooooooo seriously. I was once told by a particularly annoying member of one of these groups that 'you can't be an attachment parent if you don't sling' (I could hardly bloody walk, let alone carry my 10lb monster-newborn across my chest).
I confess, I felt like saying 'you can't breastfeed if you've got no tits!' right back at her (cheap shot, I know, but she WAS very flat chested and looked a bit like the boy who plays Martin Fowler in Eastenders)...of course, I didn't. I just scuttled away and gave her kid a sip of Fruit Shoot when she wasn't looking instead (ok, in my dreams I did)

Anyway...ditto with bells on

I remember my birth 34 years ago, it had a profound impact on me....

bohemianbint: I'm a singing and drama teacher, and I have always felt uncomfortable around other theatrical types.

My BF is a doctor and can't stand medics.

It probably stems from some kind of neurosis. Most things do.

Your way of thinking is going to attract a lot of earnest people. Principles and humour. Which do you value more when it comes to trivial chat?

Instead of looking for other people with same principles, look for other people with same humour.

Like and like repels. That's the science bit.

Well at least they don't all look at you like you're off your trolley when you say you make your own baby food etc etc ... Actually, iot sounds like they'd probably start quizzing on you on whether your organic veg is locally sourced cos of food miles. Better to hang out with people who don't do what you do then you can feel warm, fuzzy and ever so slightly smug. Smugness is a highly underated thing

ma, you make a good point

this is soooooooo funny!! marigold remember your birth pmsl profound impact well your here on earth !!! or is that the question ??

hahahaaaaaaaaaaaa, Love Angel - exactly! I was really tempted to shove a dummy in Ds's mouth for the duration of meeting just to hear the gasps of dismay that would no doubt have ensued...

It's a shame though isn't it, that certain humourless types give some quite good things a bad name....

ooh good thread,

I am a bit of a nutroaster too, yet I am intouch with 'reality', as such, and altho it can be quite uplifting to be friends with like minded people, there is sometimes the feeling that I daren't say the wrong nonpc thing!!

I can laugh at myslef, and have a good grip on living in 'this world', whereas soemtimes fellow weavers, can be, well, boring in their attitudes, and far too serious.

I live near Totnes, which is a very hippy place in south Devon, and tbh, its sooo intense, i dont think i could live there.

I do respect (here i go) other's views, but it really can be yawnsome, and too green.

Before my (alpro for me)dh left me, I found myslef rejoicing in un recycling stuff he'd re cycled, lol, how defiant!!! Well, there's only so much a girl can take

I go to a great baby group, some use cloth, a couple use slings, some cook, some use jars, about half an half with breastfeeding/formula, mix of part ime wohm and sahm as well.
It makes for more interesting conversations and I learn new things, I have nothing to talk about with people who do everything I do (apart from, aren't we great!)

hehe. you're using the wrong definition of "like me" I think.

I do cloth nappies, home cooked food etc but I think some hippyish parents are absolutely unbearable. I'd rather talk to a "normal" disposable user any day.

pirategirl: I used to live in Bangor in North Wales, which has a similar vibe (dude). Like you, I agreed with the principles, but felt stifled by the humourless worthiness.

'What, you mean you don't grind your own wholemeal flour?' etc...

Thank you pointydog I try my hardest (when I'm tired of being smug and eating lentils.)

Out of all my friends with babies, I am the only one who uses reusable nappies (not all the time tho ) and they all think I'm mental. Wouldn't have it any other way.

yes dagger looks when you say you took yuor child to an 'alopathic' doctor, and not the local homeopath who charges a weeks wages for a miniature bottle of alcohol.

chill man

What all those serious types need to realise is, if there is anything in this world you need to have a sense of humour about, its parenting (fgs, you have to be able to find it amusing when dc throws up on your fifth clean top of the day/when your dc throws up for the fifth time on the top you've had on all day because, quite frankly there was no point changing it - see above)

Pirategirl: that is, like, so gnarly.

Pirategirl PMSL@ 'un-recycling' after ex left!!!!

My uncle lives in Totnes. I was once part of an impromptu live comedy sketch on that main street / hill that runs through the town, when a little girl tugged at her mum's fairtrade, ethically-produced, hand-weaved jumper, pointed at my shiny red high heeled shoes and said REALLY LOUDLY 'Look, mummy, they're leather! Urgh! That's dead cow!'.

I resisted the urge to wedge my stiletto into her big toe. Brat.