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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to breastfeed in a more discreet place

88 replies

Babynonamee · 29/05/2018 16:57

I'm fairly sure I'm not being unreasonable but I'd be interested to know what other people think.

Today I went to a local swimming centre. My DH and DS1 were swimming and I was watching them from a bench (newborn was in the carseat and not swimming but just 'watching')

I was in a one piece swimming costume.

Newborn started crying as he was hungry, so I took him out his car seat, covered us both with a towel and cracked on with breastfeeding him.

I was not breastfeeding in the water I would think this perhaps would be inappropriate! But I was simply feeding on a bench next to the poolside.

Perhaps the fact I was in a swim suit made breastfeeding in public offensive?

The outcome was actually I pointed out I was fully covered. The life guard spoke with someone who looked like a manager, who appeared from a distance to dismiss the situation and nothing more was said. Baby stopped feeding at this point and so I put him back in the car seat.

OP posts:
KirstenRaymonde · 29/05/2018 16:58

I’m confused, who asked you to move? But no you were perfectly fine to feed where you wear, or anywhere else for that matter, but pools should be particularly fine as everyone is already mostly naked.

FASH84 · 29/05/2018 16:59

That's horrible, I would email centre management and complain

StepBackNow · 29/05/2018 16:59

Looks like the manager dealt with it. Probably a new lifeguard who doesn't know the rules yet.

Lethaldrizzle · 29/05/2018 16:59

Just ignore them/him. Ignorant twats

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/05/2018 17:00

Did they lifeguard ask you? I don’t think that’s allowed. As a manager I’d have made them apologise.

MissVanjie · 29/05/2018 17:00

Absolutely yanbu to bf poolside

It’s not massively clear what happened though tbh

5foot5 · 29/05/2018 17:01

So was it the life guard who asked you to move?
Clearly the manager over-ruled him so I guess the life guard will know better another time.

Spaghettijumper · 29/05/2018 17:01

The lifeguard was in the wrong and the manager knew it.

robotcartrainhat · 29/05/2018 17:02

The lifeguard was wrong and the manager was right. You are protected by law to breastfeed anywhere you want. That place wouldve been in big trouble if the lifeguard had been backed up by the manager. Just chalk it up to some random dickhead with weird views. Sadly they do pop out of the woodwork now and again with breastfeeding.

Hisnamesblaine · 29/05/2018 17:02

I don't get how you were in a swimsuit if the baby was just watching from a car seat? Surely the baby wasn't left alone while all 3 of you were in the pool? As for the ABI, no you weren't!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/05/2018 17:02

They can’t ask you to stop feeding because it’s indiscreet, only if it presents a health and safety risk (chemicals or radiation or so on).

But when you say the manager dismissed the situation, do you mean they said it was fine for you to feed? So no real issue? Sounds as if the lifeguard was just poorly informed and needed training.

5foot5 · 29/05/2018 17:02

That's horrible, I would email centre management and complain
Why on earth would she do that? The matter had already been dealt with by the manager who had set the life guard right? What is to be gained by complaining further?

robotcartrainhat · 29/05/2018 17:04

hisnamesblaine her DH was also there so i assume they were taking it in turns to sit on the bench with the baby whilst the other swam with other child

Original poster
Babynonamee · 29/05/2018 17:26

Sorry just re read and your are right, my post is unclear.

A lifeguard asked me to move somewhere more discreet. I told him that I was covered up...
He went to talk with a man who looked like a manager/superviser who sort of waved his arm and appeared to dismiss the situation.

Baby had then happened to stop feeding so I put him in the carseat.

I was suprised to be told to move. I wondered what other people on mumsnet genuinely thought. Was I being a bit too offensive on breastfeeding by the pool in my swimsuit?
I have heard there is a law that protects Breastfeeding mothers, but I haven't looked this up yet. Maybe this is why the manager didn't come and 'tell me off' himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Babynonamee · 29/05/2018 17:28

hisname
Baby was in car seat and I was in swimsuit as I was taking it in turns to babysit while DH swam with my older child.

OP posts:
littlepeas · 29/05/2018 17:31

I would complain. People need to learn that bf is normal.

littlepeas · 29/05/2018 17:32

5foot5 I would hope that it would be made clear to all staff that it is unacceptable to ask a bfing mother to move.

gamerchick · 29/05/2018 17:36

I think the lifeguard will know better next time OP, don't stew over it you've done nothing wrong.

Hisnamesblaine · 29/05/2018 18:35

Ahhhhh right. I see! Was the lifeguard young. Maybe he just played it safe and informed management. But again if you were covered with a towel there seemed to be no harm done!

Mumminmum · 29/05/2018 18:36

The thing is, the manager need to ensure that the staff knows the rules when he hires them. Not just inform them after they have broken the law by harrassing a breastfeeding mum. I would email the centre to ask them to ensure that ALL staff is aware of the law.

SevenStones · 29/05/2018 18:40

The thing is, the manager need to ensure that the staff knows the rules when he hires them. Not just inform them after they have broken the law by harrassing a breastfeeding mum. I would email the centre to ask them to ensure that ALL staff is aware of the law.

This! It should never have happened, and if you email them hopefully the manager will be prompted to ensure everyone knows the law and thus no other mum will be questioned as you were.

Puttingthefootdown · 29/05/2018 18:45

Yanbu.

Original poster
Babynonamee · 29/05/2018 18:49

minimum
I think you are right. I won't complain as such, but I will email them to make sure their staff are aware of the law (which I have now found out exists! The equality law 2010 says breastfeeding mothers must be treated equally and not harrassed)

OP posts:
ferntwist · 29/05/2018 18:50

YANBU. The lifeguard was incredibly immature and intrusive. I would write to the leisure centre, not to get anyone into trouble but to highlight this as a staff training issue.

Mabeldidit · 29/05/2018 18:53

'Looks like the manager dealt with it. Probably a new lifeguard who doesn't know the rules yet.'

Omg it was dealt with. Move on!