Letting DD have sleepovers with her girlfriend

[Gingerninj]

This probably doesn't seem unreasonable but I've been thinking about the fact that i wouldn't if she had a boyfriend. So in that sense AIBU?

how old is she?

How old is she though?

13

I think she is too young.

Are they having sex?

This is a tricky one. She's too young in the emotional sense but there are obviously different concerns if it was a boyfriend. Not sure there's a perfect answer here.

In my opinion any form of sexual relationship has huge emotional risk. Just because the pregnancy risk is eliminated doesn't make it a good idea, especially at 13. Sexual contact of any kind is a huge emotional risk.

Personally I'd say no girlfriends/boyfriends staying over until a) both 16 or over and b) established relationship. Sexuality irrelevant.

Yes they may "do things anyway" but I wouldn't make it easy. Freely sharing a bed at age 13 with someone you want to be in a sexual relationship with just screams bad idea to me.

I would talk to her about sexual relationships and the emotional side.

No. At 13 you need to protect her. It doesn't matter who she is sleeping with, she's still a child. In three short years then yes, she's old enough. For now she has a lot of growing up to do.

Jesus no way!!!

Why is this even a consideration

Woooooah! 13! No way on earth.

At 13 No absolutely not!

I don’t care if it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend or something that identifies as a unicorn 13 is way too young for that kind of relationship

No, not at 13 and just them 2. Group sleepovers would be ok imo though.

well as you say there isn't the same risks as a boy and girl but as I said on the other thread I wouldn't want my son to be having sex at 14 so there is no way I would be encouraging it by allowing sleep overs regardless of sexuality .

13!! No way!

I allowed it recently because it was a group of four girls and two boys. One of the boys is openly gay and DD's "boyfriend" and she haven't even kissed.

They're just friends really with the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend". I know the host very well and she put all the kids in one big room and kept a close eye out.

They all had their little sleeping bags and they watched films, played the fool and then all went to sleep in a heap of girls and two little separate heaps which were the boys.

It's not that I want them to be having sex or that I don't care because there's no risk of pregnancy. I have spoken to her about this and she says they "haven't done anything like that" but I'm still not completely sure. I get the feeling she just doesn't want to tell me. But even if I was to stop sleepovers she would probably still come over during the day, would I just stop them going into her bedroom alone?

I wouldn’t until she’s 16, also the open bedroom door rule!

Are they in a sexual relationship?

No

Exactly what CheeseRolling said

I’d be thinking more about the emotional implications of a sexual relationship, a 13 year old is not mature enough to deal with the fall out when it goes tits up or the gf decides to tell people personal stuff

No.

You should apply exactly the same standards as if they were in a straight relationship.

It’s illegal as they’re both below the legal age of consent.

You’d be guilty of allowing mutual rape happening.... and SS / police would be involved.

You and your dd need to have a long chat about boundaries, consent and the law.

well yes op if they are going to do anything they will do regardless, and there isn't the risk she could get pregnant but condoning a possible sexual relationship at 13 seems a bit to much .

Seriously? Surely you wouldn't honestly consider this? Just No!!!

Absolutely no fucking way but this...

You’d be guilty of allowing mutual rape happening.... and SS / police would be involved.

Is bollocks.