Child Contact Drop Off Change

[TKBGH190]

Person A: Child's 60% Resident Parent
Person B: Child's 40% Resident Parent

Person A and Person B have a strained relationship.

Person B had child and was due to return child at 7pm to other home. Contact times / dates / locations are pre-arranged per court order.

Person A text Person B at 5pm to request that child be dropped off at work instead of home.

Person B did not see message.

Person B rings doorbell at 7pm and home is empty. At that point they check phone and see message. Reply "sorry have just seen message...at the house just now... will take child to the park and Person A can text when are home"

Person A replies "on the way and will be there in 20 minutes (7:30)"

Person B advises they are now at park anyway so will bring child back at 8pm.

Person A replies that 8pm is too late for a school night and to bring back immediately so child can stick to required routine.

It is now world war 3.

WIBU?

Person a should have followed up with a call. Person b should stay for a short but reasonable time at park and try to be home before 8. Partly depends how far park is and how old child.

Genuine mix up and dc will enjoy the park?!

depends how far park is and how old child

this but person A should chill. They changed arrangements at last minute so they should suffer the inconvenience. Am more sympathetic if child is only reception but much older than that and am sure they will cope.

Person A should have just accepted 8pm drop off. They changed plans, then B adapted

So the argument is about a half hour time discrepancy? The pair of you need to grow up. Why can't people be civil to one another after break ups.

Surely original plan should be adhered to if it's by court order.

Person a and person b need to get a grip! It's only 30 mins extra in the park ffs and they prob wouldn't be asleep by then anyway. It's no ones fault and it's petty.

Unless child is in reception, as a one off 8pm is not going to cause any harm. Even for reception, things just happen sometimes. It's far easier and more pleasant to take things as they come rather than go was war with someone over a bedtime delayed by 30 minutes.

Person B used their initiative rather than sitting on the doorstep for half an hour.

Person A needs to calm down, no harm was done, they can have an early night the next night. Nothing to start ww3 about at all.

Person A needs to get over themselves.

Thank you for the replies. I am neither Person A, nor Person B, I just wondered what people's opinions were on it - as it is a situation I am observing baffled by the whole thing

Person B waited for 10 minutes before going to park, but at that point had not received a reply from Person A. Person B received the message once at the park already. (Circa 7:20ish)

Child is 7. Park 10 minute drive away.

Sigh
There was a mix up.
Person A should have followed with a call.
There was half an hours difference and the child had a rare 'late' evening of fun in the park.

Everyone needs to get a grip!

Definitely at 7 then no harm done. In at eight. Quick bath, story bed for half past.

it's half an hour everyone needs to grow up

WIBU?

It is going to be me who points out the obvious?

Person A is being entirely unreasonable. A changed the arrangement, B responded once they saw the message and did what they could to adapt to new situation.

The more I think about it, the more unreasonable person A becomes. I wonder if person A is actually setting person B up.

The whole situation is ridiculous, and who suffers? The child - who instead of an extra fun half hour in the part with parent B, now has to live through world war 3. So damaging for the child.

WIBU = Who is being unreasonable, not was I being unreasonable??

My answer is still A. 100%

Person A changed things, they need a grip, one slightly late night won't kill the child.

Person A is being unreasonable. They changed the arrangements and should have followed up with a call as didn't get a reply to their text. Person B did what they could to accommodate once they realised the arrangements had changed. Half an hour makes wont make any difference to the child at all. Ridiculous to make a fuss!

Sorry, yes by WIBU I meant "Who Is Being Unreasonable..."

(I'm a long term lurker still getting to grips with the abbreviations )

Thank you for the general consensus. Child was returned at 8pm, and WW3 started because Person B did not listen to Person A and return child when told 8pm was too late.

Person A needs to get a grip. S/he is the one who changed the plans, so needs to suck it up.

I disagree - person A waited 10 mins, then went to the park, and had arrived there by the time B caked to say 20 mins, be there at 7:30.

So the park must be right next to the house. Twenty minutes unexpected playing sounds plenty for me - nice surprise.

More than doubling that, when there isn't really a need and it's impinging on bedtime on a school night; sounds like power play.

Person B made last minute changes to arrangement.

Person A soul ds like a control freak who wants to change arrangements to suit them but it can only be done their way.

Park on a nice summers evening one day before school holidays is hardly crime if the century! And it was half hour!

Person A is being ridiculous.

If there is a court order it isn’t a good relationship where people understand mistakes happen

This will go back to court and only winners are the solicitors for fees

If its all so important, A should have not changed the plan in the first place and been home at 7 as per arrangement.

Person A should also be appreciative of the fact that person B was prepared to flex and care for the child for the extra time.

Seems like person A wants to call all the shots.