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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you do this?

68 replies

R2G · 06/05/2018 20:52

Family member is leaving her two kids, primary school age year 5 and 6, to go to the gym at 6.30am. She's back before they wake up. Obviously she's in a class so can't easily check phone. She doesn't have them with her at least two mornings a week so could go then. Is she being unreasonable or is this fine?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 06/05/2018 20:54

So what 10 and 11?

Totally fine.

WeirdyMcBeardy · 06/05/2018 20:56

Not fine. What if something happens whilst they are asleep or smoke alarm goes off and they are disorientated etc. Too young to be left like that, she is selfish as she has other options that don't involve abandoning her kids because it suits her.

crackerjackered · 06/05/2018 20:57

More info needed. Do kids have phone? Is class far away?

daimbars · 06/05/2018 20:57

Depends how mature the kids are and if they would be alarmed to wake up and find their Mum not there?

As long as they know beforehand then it sounds okay to me.

crackerjackered · 06/05/2018 20:57

Presumably they know she's gone?

DuchyDuke · 06/05/2018 20:59

I’m in an exercise class too , have my phone next to me on loud and so I always know when it rings and will pick it up instantly. For a 10 and 11 yo without special needs it’s ok.

Liara · 06/05/2018 20:59

At 10 and 11 that sounds fine to me, provided they know about it.

Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 21:09

Yes they have a phone and would know. It's more the fact they are asleep and no one about at that time that sits uneasy with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 21:25

Class is not far away no

OP posts:
daimbars · 06/05/2018 22:07

Sounds like all three are happy with the arrangement so it's fine.

Ivorbig1 · 06/05/2018 22:14

Not ok to go out and leave them sleeping at that age. In an emergency it would totally unfair to leave them to fend for themselves.

SecretIsland · 06/05/2018 22:14

Not fine imo. The fact they are both asleep sits really uneasily with me at primary age.

To those who think it's fine - presumably it would be ok for mum to tuck them up at night and head out for an hour at 11pm, leaving them in bed asleep?

VimFuego101 · 06/05/2018 22:15

I agree, something about the fact they're sleeping isn't sitting right with me. I am a bit of a helicopter parent though.

SecretIsland · 06/05/2018 22:16

Sounds like all three are happy with the arrangement so it's fine

Two kids being happy with the arrangement doesn't mean it's 'fine' Hmm A 4 and 5 year old may well be happy with that arrangement but it would be far from fine.

Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 22:21

@secretisland that's exactly what I said

OP posts:
daphneduck · 06/05/2018 22:25

I can’t make my mind up.

They’re both in primary school presumably? I think it’s a wee bit on the young side. At 12 and 13 I would think it’s more appropriate but I can’t explain my rationale

Candyflosss · 06/05/2018 22:28

school year 5 and 6

or

5 or 6 years old?

They are very different.

Fruitcorner123 · 06/05/2018 22:30

I was just writing a reply to say yes it's fine then I thought of the fire risk. However small a risk imagine if there was a house fire and the children were asleep the friend would never forgive herself. So no I wouldn't do it.

Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 22:37

Year 5 and 6 so 10 and 11.

OP posts:
Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 22:39

I think it's fine in the day neighbours around, awake and alert with phones. But asleep. On a set time that someone could easily follow. Just seems wrong as they are vulnerable and just leaving it to chance to go to an extra class.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 06/05/2018 22:46

I wouldn't do it but I'm not outraged at the thought of someone else doing it.

pinkhorse · 06/05/2018 22:53

Nope. I wouldn't do it

greendale17 · 06/05/2018 22:54

Not fine at all. Leaving sleeping children to go to an exercise class

StellaWouldYouTakeMeHome · 06/05/2018 23:10

Not fine I personally wouldn’t do it

NoMudNoLotus · 06/05/2018 23:14

Mine are 10 & 12 ... not fine .