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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you do this?

68 replies

R2G · 06/05/2018 20:52

Family member is leaving her two kids, primary school age year 5 and 6, to go to the gym at 6.30am. She's back before they wake up. Obviously she's in a class so can't easily check phone. She doesn't have them with her at least two mornings a week so could go then. Is she being unreasonable or is this fine?

OP posts:
Shrodingerslion · 06/05/2018 23:31

My mother would not leave me at 14-15 at 6.30am quite cross thinking about it now.

I think under 12 is too young for that time
Of the morning.

Mammyloveswine · 06/05/2018 23:33

I think it's fine but i was left from about 9-10 at a similar age...

Myotherusernameisbest · 06/05/2018 23:34

How far away is the class? It sounds fine to me as long as the dc are sensible and the class isn't a long way away. 10 and 11 year olds perfectly capable of sorting themselves out when they wake up.

Ski40 · 06/05/2018 23:36

I would never do that. Far too young. Can't she work out at home until they are old enough? Plenty of fitness dvds and home gym equipment around.

Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 23:36

Class not far away. They are capable children. It's not them being awake and sorting themselves. It's the early hour them sleeping through fire, or intrusion or waking up and vomiting or something like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
R2G · 06/05/2018 23:38

Ski there are 5 other opportunities evenings and weekend including one morning without children when she can go so this is just to leave them to squeeze an extra class in.

OP posts:
okdok · 06/05/2018 23:40

I think this is OK. Maybe you wouldn't do it, but perfectly reasonable.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2018 23:41

Totally irresponsible and just plain stupid.

MumofBoysx2 · 06/05/2018 23:58

I think if you had to leave sensible 10 and 11 year olds for 20 mins/half hour or so in an emergency, while they were awake and aware then that would be OK but an exercise class is hardly urgent and she already doesn't see them when they wake up at least a couple of times a week. Kids need us when they wake up, in my experience, I bet they aren't always still asleep when she gets back. And what if something happened? It sounds a bit selfish to me.

thegreatbeyond · 07/05/2018 00:08

No, I wouldn't leave kids this age asleep or awake.

Lalliella · 07/05/2018 00:10

Really irresponsible, especially to be uncontactable, and possibly illegal. Those poor kids. Why can’t she exercise at home?

balsamicbarbara · 07/05/2018 00:13

"Poor kids"? The odds of them noticing or caring seems pretty low to me. This doesn't reflect on how the rest of their childhood is to me..

Original poster
R2G · 07/05/2018 00:15

No balsa I agree she's a good mum, but she is being selfish in this instance I think. Hardly likely to notice tho I agree, unless the unthinkable occurs.

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 07/05/2018 00:15

It's not illegal - there's no minimum age to leave children alone. However, she should be aware that should anything go wrong, the consequences for her will stack up hard and fast.

Personally, I wouldn't have done this. It depends totally on the children and how 'responsible' they are. But I think this is too much responsibility for children that age (even if they're sensible and copers) barring an emergency.

It sits uneasy with me.

shazkiwi · 07/05/2018 00:22

I wouldn't while they are asleep. My two sleep through fire alarms (eldest is 11 going on 12) no idea how but they do so it isn't safe to leave them own their own while asleep.

While awake I have/do leave the eldest on her own in the house absolutely fine for 1 -2 hours. Year 5 in my mind is just a touch too young to be left alone in a house & a Year 6 would be too young to be left to babysit.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 07/05/2018 00:31

It's not so much the leaving them, it's leaving them while they are asleep.

ERipley · 07/05/2018 00:40

Sounds fine to me. Do people realise they are in years 5 and 6 and not aged 5 and 6?

ashbah1980 · 07/05/2018 00:53

Doesn't sit right with me either. No child get left in my house alone until they are 13, and didn't leave DD1 to look after DD3 on her own until she was 16 (and DD3 was 10).

This goes for any child btw- nephew is 11 and is left for half hour after school, but if I go out and DD1/2 aren't in then he comes along. It just doesn't feel right to me and while he's in my care he lives by my rule.

caroldecker · 07/05/2018 00:54

Sounds fine to me

Grilledaubergines · 07/05/2018 01:13

To those who think it’s fine, would you think it ok if the Mum popped out at midnight for an hour, leaving the children asleep?

imweirdandcool · 07/05/2018 01:51

fine

Original poster
R2G · 07/05/2018 02:07

That's the issue I have. Think it's fine to leave 10 and 11 year old for. Short time in day. It's the hour no one around and fast asleep. Feels wrong.

OP posts:
IAmMatty · 07/05/2018 02:10

Wasn't there a campaign last year to raise awareness that kids sleep through smoke alarms much more often than adults?

For that reason I don't think I'd do it.

SecretIsland · 07/05/2018 08:44

Grilled I asked the same question a couple of pages back but got no reply's.

I think it's too awkward for the 'it's fine' crew to answer because it would obviously be highly irresponsible and isn't really different to leaving them in the morning.

balsamicbarbara · 07/05/2018 09:40

It's totally different. It's daylight for one. Second, sleep is far less deep in the final hour or so.

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