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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to eat something without having it to share it with dc?

70 replies

ladybirdsarelovely33 · 22/04/2018 00:42

I have two dds. DD1 is 5 and DD2 is 2. Even if they have finished their lunch, and I go and get something to eat, e.g a Marmite rice cake deliberately getting food they might not like they will make their way over and beg/ scream until I give them a bit.
When until I have to stop hiding around the corner to eat a piece of chocolate?
Or do you always share your food with your dc?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/04/2018 00:47

Just resign yourself to the fact that 1. They will always want your food, and 2. You will never be in the bathroom alone again until they are teenagers.

Motherhood is AWESOME.

moita · 22/04/2018 00:55

Yes DS is 15 months and I wait until he's asleep before any chocolate etc is consumed. We used to get away with the occasional takeaway while giving him something homecooked and healthy...not anymore. It's proper tears and anguish if you don't share with him Hmm

liz70 · 22/04/2018 00:58

Three DDs here (19, 17 and 8). Never shared food with them. That's your food; this is my food. They don't go hungry, they're not unloved or neglected. A firm "No" and shake of the head every time, and they'll soon get used to it. Motherhood needn't be martyrhood.

Poodles1980 · 22/04/2018 08:14

I ate a bag of malteasers in my utility room yesterday. He couldn’t hear the packet rustle because of the spin cycle

Longdistance · 22/04/2018 08:23

Build yourself a walk in pantry, and close the door behind you. It’s the only way.
After living in Oz for a few years, every house we had, had a pantry. Dds were small, but were complete gannets when they’d see me with food.
We came home to the UK to our old house, and remodelled it, with a walk in pantry. Dh suggested it, and I nearly bit his hand off at the idea of being able to hide Grin

WeirdCatLady · 22/04/2018 08:26

It’s okay for you to say No to them you know.

callies · 22/04/2018 08:27

Say no Hmm

They are the children, you are their parent. One of my friends let’s her children grab whatever they want from her plate, really bad habit IMO.

BMW6 · 22/04/2018 08:41

Just say No for Pete's sake!!
I have 3 younger siblings and never saw any of them pestering my parents for a bit of their food!

BMW6 · 22/04/2018 08:42

I get this begging from my dog, who gets told No as well.

Dragongirl10 · 22/04/2018 08:45

Just calmly say when you sit down for lunch/dinner, this is your food , this is my food, l don't eat yours and you don't eat mine.

If they do not take no for an answer first time give them a punishment, time out/ loss of tv time etc.

I wouldn't tolerate thie persistant screaming/yelling at all.

LoveYouTimMinchin · 22/04/2018 08:47

I thought your op was going to be about sharing food from your plate when you are eating together. But yabu to snack in front of them and expect your little kids to understand that they can't have a snack too.

justabunchofbunting · 22/04/2018 08:52

I just say 'No, youve had XYZ havent you?' and filter him out usually. Luckily he does give up after a bit as he knows he wont get anything. I try to time my snacks for when hes just eaten which makes it easier as he is usually full and knows deep down that he is!
Hes nearly 3 and he DOES understand that I sometimes have a snack which he cant have. He knows he cant have coffee or diet coke and never asks for it when he sees me having it. Toddlers are not stupid they can understand that you may sometimes be eating something which they are not allowed.

metalmum15 · 22/04/2018 08:53

I don't remember my dcs ever begging and screaming at 5 for something i was eating. By that age they should know basic manners. If they ask nicely you can consider giving them a bite, if they beg and scream they get nothing. You don't have to give them any of your food if you choose not to.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/04/2018 08:57

Dps who give away their treats drive me nuts tbh!! I used it take cream cakes +gingerbread men to a friend's house, dc ate their gbm and her dd used to be scavenging for her cream cake, she gave her most of it every fucking time!! Stop being a martyr and eat your bloody cake yourself!! Dc should accept they can't have everything and certainly not guilt you into having what's yours!!

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 22/04/2018 09:08

My MIL does this, it’s ridiculous! She took my DD and her GS to McDonalds when they were younger and GS decided he wanted MILs burger after he’d half eaten his nuggets (literally half of each one). So she gave it to him and then complained later that she was hungry as GS hadn’t “allowed” her to eat her own lunch Hmm

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/04/2018 10:22

Imo dc that learn the word no will find it easier to cope in rl when they have to accept it doesn't revolve around them.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/04/2018 10:23

Meant to say learn the word no from dps.

Allthewaves · 22/04/2018 10:30

meals i wouldn't share as we each have our own. I wouldn't eat anything that's a treat like cake, crisps or biscuits in front of them unless they are having a portion too as that's just mean.

Thishatisnotmine · 22/04/2018 10:33

I hide in the kichen and cram food into my mouth. Downside is you lose all authority when suddenly have to step in with some discipline with a mouth full of chocolate digestive...

Dc wanting my food is a great way to get them to try new things though.

Dieu · 22/04/2018 10:35

I don't share, but I'm a greedy bastard and my children know it.

bluechameleon · 22/04/2018 10:40

I think you need to be able to say no, but I also think it is mean to eat something they would like in front of them when they don't have anything. The cream cake/gingerbread man situation seems unfair to me- if the children are old enough to eat gingerbread men they are old enough to eat cream cakes, so I can see why they'd be a bit miffed at not being offered them. Different if they are babies and not having processed sugar yet.

Theweasleytwins · 22/04/2018 10:44

Mine so this 🙄never to their dad though😞

Eminybob · 22/04/2018 10:46

I’m with you.
My 3 year old ds nicked half my bacon sandwich off my plate (after saying he didn’t want one) chewed up and spat out the bacon and just ate the toast. Cheers ds, I would have made you toast if you wanted toast (also offered and refused)

Love51 · 22/04/2018 10:48

Mine are 4and 6 and the tables have turned. They both shared their Easter eggs with me yesterday. They no longer nick my food as they hate anything spicy (including but not limited to, gingerbread, balsamic vinegar, fizzy water).

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 22/04/2018 10:51

I was having lunch with my sister a while ago and she ordered a chocolate cake as pudding. Kids also had their own thing. When my sister was sorting something out my nephew started eating her chocolate cake, which she hadn't even touched by that point. I asked nephew not to. He continued, and my sister let him, just sort of laughed at being done out of her cake. Madness I tell you!