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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, if you work in an office, what it's like?

82 replies

Pusheenicorn · 08/04/2018 18:17

The reason I ask is, I work in an office and I literally feel like I am surrounded by stoppy, emotional, most, back stabbing, bitchy, overreacting 6 year olds... I enjoy my job and have a fab boss but wondering if it's time to start looking elsewhere or if all offices are the same?!

You say one thing in the canteen that somehow (like Chinese whispers) gets turned into sometgubg conpletely different and end up getting a bollocking. E.g. what was said - "I didn't think CEO woukd like the new girl because she has purple hair but he didn't seem to mind" ... By the time it had reached my boss apparently I had said "CEO said he's going to sack the new girl and he is gobsmacked that anybody thought it was acceptable to hire somebody with purple hair, whoever hired her is getting sacked as well" Confused

Sent out an email the other day saying were FINALLY getting a coffee machine after approx. 1000 requests in the suggestion box- please vote on the link below (once only) whether you would prefer a Tassimo or Nespresso.

Cue everyone manually voting 70 times in the space of 30s seconds, crashing the website, making people who didn't want to vote vote for the one they wanted (this from senior managers!)... sent out another email saying "I can see when you've voted more than once these won't be counted" now literally nobody downstairs is speaking to me and one person has raised a bullying grievance against me because I was purposefully trying to make sure she didn't get the machine she wanted.... Confused

Another senior manager (new) through an almighty bitch fit when I handed her her contract to be signed and returned (I'm an HR admin and do all the contracts, offer letters etc) outraged that I knew her salary. My boss told her I have access to the salary database so know everyone's, issue everyone's contracts and she trusts in my confidentiality etc. New senior manager raises a grievance with CEO demanding I no longer have access to this information as it's demeaning that an admin should know "her" salary!!!!

Last one... another senior manager bent all the cutlery and put it in the bin so there is nothing to eat lunch with because somebody left a teaspoon in the sink....

Is your workplace like this or do I just work somewhere actually INSANE. I don't want to leave if it's the same elsewhere.

OP posts:
Flampingu · 08/04/2018 18:19

Where you work is just insane.

notthatonethanks · 08/04/2018 18:20

Your office sounds totally insane!

TidyDancer · 08/04/2018 18:21

There are a few bitches and a couple of lazy bastards in my office but nothing as batshit as it seems yours is OP!

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 08/04/2018 18:22

I think that's just where you work.

5foot5 · 08/04/2018 18:22

I have been working for over 30 years and have never encountered such silliness. Are you sure your work colleagues really aren't six year olds!

Crunchymum · 08/04/2018 18:23

My office is relatively uneventful

Roselind · 08/04/2018 18:26

I've worked in a few offices over the years and as in any situation in life, one or two strong minded characters can totally sway the way everyone behaves. I only realised once I left my last job just how toxic one person had made the atmosphere for everyone.
As regards the coffee machine, small things can assume huge importance in the eyes of office workers + the atmosphere you describe is probably creating a sense of powerlessness/juvenile behaviour.
It may just take one or two people to move on for you to find it becomes very different.
(as an aside - not just offices either - my sister is a teacher and I would say over the years her experiences parallel mine).

OurMiracle1106 · 08/04/2018 18:30

Mine is full of giggles, ranty moments to each of their (not at, to)
Random pranks at times.
It’s a lovely environment imo actually and makes a demanding job in a fast paced chaotic environment worth it!

BarryTheKestrel · 08/04/2018 18:30

You are working with children.

I work in an office and whilst there is pathetic and bitch behavior, in the 7 years I've been there there has never been anything like you've described.

WhiteCaribou · 08/04/2018 18:32

I work in admin in a small primary school so I am literally surrounded by 6 year olds all day and they behave far far better than your workmates. It's definitely where you work!

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 08/04/2018 18:33

Yours sounds...eventful.

In my office of about 40 people no one talks and just sits there in silence doing their work.

Sometimes I imagine standing up and getting my tits out just to liven it up.

ScreamingValenta · 08/04/2018 18:34

There's a fair amount of politics, and people making mountains out of mole hills; moaning about trivial things or having knee jerk reactions, but outright bitching and backstabbing is rare. Yours sounds extreme, OP.

northbynorthwesty · 08/04/2018 18:34

Your office sounds very childish
If you’re in HR, I’m sure you could easily find a job in a more professional place

grasspigeons · 08/04/2018 18:35

I ve worked in lovely offices and offices with a horrible atmosphere
and in some lovely offices there have been individuals I've found difficult, and in the horrible office I made some lifelong friends.

Is your office a local authority by any chance? I did 5 years in one and it was the most bonkers, petty environment I've ever worked in. Actually all our salaries were published so it cant be.

bringbacksideburns · 08/04/2018 18:36

Thatmustbenigel GrinGrin

Storminateapot · 08/04/2018 18:36

My last office everyone worked in silence, I used to joke you could hear the scratch of quill pens.

No bitchiness or ridiculous childish behaviour though.

Speedy85 · 08/04/2018 18:38

That sounds really weird. Where I work currently I think there is only 1 difficult person out of a team of about 40, and even she doesn't seem as bad as your colleagues (just shirks works, complains if anyone touches her desk, generally grumbles a lot etc). Everyone else is super lovely.

codswallopandbalderdash · 08/04/2018 18:39

Sadly my work is also like an alternative universe. Yours sounds pretty familiar to me. I work in a high pressure environment and although most people are OK some are completely off the wall / toxic and affect the working environment disproportionately. After a pretty shitty couple of weeks, strategy is now head down and disengage (and listen to music through my earphones if it all gets too much)

Graphista · 08/04/2018 18:40

I've worked in offices and one was almost as bad as this. I lasted less than 2 months before going elsewhere (I was also being bullied quite badly by one particular woman who was the bosses "bff" it was a large organisation and this was one smallish office in it. The high staff turnover eventually raised eyebrows and the boss as well as the bully were sacked)

I've also worked in hospitals, care homes, factories, restaurants and supermarkets...

There are bitchy, sexist, lechy, gossipy, stirring colleagues in most workplaces in my experience.

What you have to remember is these are not your friends, they have no loyalty to you. Until you know who's who be careful what you say to about others, about work, about you.

I've made good friends with people I've worked with a few I've stayed friends with after leaving that workplace but I didn't immediately trust them at the time.

On a few occasions when younger I made that mistake and got properly stitched up! Lesson learned

AverageSnowflake · 08/04/2018 18:41

Fucking hell, your office sounds bizarre. No, it is definitely not normal.

My office is great, we are all friends and we go out drinking together every 6 months or so.

ClareB83 · 08/04/2018 18:42

I've worked in many offices, mainly the public sector, and none of them have been like that.

Even when I worked in an office with 100 new graduates working 60 hour weeks the worst gossip was who was sleeping with who.

Your work is batshit.

NameChanger22 · 08/04/2018 18:43

There is a mega bitch where I work, a real bully. She has made my life a nightmare for years now. My work section is silent because nobody wants to attract her attention and be in the receiving end of it. I would quite enjoy work if it wasn't for her.

I think wherever you go there will be horrible people because quite a lot of people are not nice.

Dingdong1975 · 08/04/2018 18:44

Must be a lot of people sharing your office op, only a few offenders can screw everyone up! I work in a small office now, only one colleague I am aware would bad mouth others but otherwise I like my colleagues. I am very lucky.

CheshireSplat · 08/04/2018 18:45

thatmustbenigel that made me chuckle as I've recently moved jobs and my new office is so quiet, after a noisy, busy place.

That's just an excuse for a post - whats the story behind your username?

And OP that sound awful. Start looking around for another job - you may start somewhere new and nice and wonder how you stuck that out.

trinity0097 · 08/04/2018 18:45

@thatmustbenigelwiththebrie

I worked in a school once where the drama teacher just about did that. Stood up on the sofa in the staff room and pulled her top up and jigged about! She did keep her bra on!
I had only been there a couple of weeks so hadn’t really got to know her yet!