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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask, if you work in an office, what it's like?

82 replies

Pusheenicorn · 08/04/2018 18:17

The reason I ask is, I work in an office and I literally feel like I am surrounded by stoppy, emotional, most, back stabbing, bitchy, overreacting 6 year olds... I enjoy my job and have a fab boss but wondering if it's time to start looking elsewhere or if all offices are the same?!

You say one thing in the canteen that somehow (like Chinese whispers) gets turned into sometgubg conpletely different and end up getting a bollocking. E.g. what was said - "I didn't think CEO woukd like the new girl because she has purple hair but he didn't seem to mind" ... By the time it had reached my boss apparently I had said "CEO said he's going to sack the new girl and he is gobsmacked that anybody thought it was acceptable to hire somebody with purple hair, whoever hired her is getting sacked as well"

Sent out an email the other day saying were FINALLY getting a coffee machine after approx. 1000 requests in the suggestion box- please vote on the link below (once only) whether you would prefer a Tassimo or Nespresso.

Cue everyone manually voting 70 times in the space of 30s seconds, crashing the website, making people who didn't want to vote vote for the one they wanted (this from senior managers!)... sent out another email saying "I can see when you've voted more than once these won't be counted" now literally nobody downstairs is speaking to me and one person has raised a bullying grievance against me because I was purposefully trying to make sure she didn't get the machine she wanted....

Another senior manager (new) through an almighty bitch fit when I handed her her contract to be signed and returned (I'm an HR admin and do all the contracts, offer letters etc) outraged that I knew her salary. My boss told her I have access to the salary database so know everyone's, issue everyone's contracts and she trusts in my confidentiality etc. New senior manager raises a grievance with CEO demanding I no longer have access to this information as it's demeaning that an admin should know "her" salary!!!!

Last one... another senior manager bent all the cutlery and put it in the bin so there is nothing to eat lunch with because somebody left a teaspoon in the sink....

Is your workplace like this or do I just work somewhere actually INSANE. I don't want to leave if it's the same elsewhere.

OP posts:

Queenio24 · 08/04/2018 18:45

It's nothing like yours. All blokes apart from me, fairly quiet, no bitching or bullshit.

TheUbercornMum · 08/04/2018 18:48

Sounds insane. There's always an element of office politics everywhere I've worked but certainly not to the extent you describe. The culture sounds....wrong. Is it a smaller company or a smaller company that has grown quickly where there are people who've been there for years? As another poster said, it is a handful most likely creating the atmosphere and it'll take management to take a stronger tone on these individuals or for them to move on. What does your boss say? Do they support you and are they firm in stopping these people in their tracks? I sympathise!!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 08/04/2018 18:49

Haulage has its drawbacks, but you can at least watch the arseholes vanish in the rear view mirror.

Original poster

Pusheenicorn · 08/04/2018 18:51

I've taken the route of speaking to no one... going to lunch an hour after everyone else and generally smiling and nodding if I simply must talk to someone.

I really think the coffee machine incident tipped me over the edge... you'd think it was a vote to who was going to get a million pound bonus the absolute chaos that ensued.

I also agree that it's a handful of people that rile everyone else up. It's just really bizarre. Everyday I come home and DP is like "WHAT HAPPENED TODAY".

Plus the weird incident where I had leggings and a long (almost knee length) blouse on but I had bent right down to try and fix the printer and a female senior manager tried to get me sacked for trying to get a promotion by flashing my knickers I had actually forgotten about that! I do wonder if I went elsewhere I would be quite bored however.

at the getting your tits out post!!!!

OP posts:

TERFousBreakdown · 08/04/2018 18:51

Your office sounds unbearable.

Mine's bog standard, I believe: my boss and I are the silly kids who can't take their mind out of the gutter (but make every effort to keep it among our circle of certified mental adolescents), one of my employees is the designated office health nut who goes around lecturing people about how they'll all drop dead shortly unless they [insert health das of the week], my boss has a nemesis (but they both keep it reasonably professional), another employee of mine is a hopeless hypochondriac and we all steal pens and stalkers from one another's desks all the time.

But most of us genuinely like each other and none of the drama is serious. Also, we never spread malicious gossip.

I couldn't work at a place like yours, OP.

cantstopfuckingeating · 08/04/2018 18:51

Your office sounds bonkers.
I've worked in an office for 17 years and whilst there is some immature ass hole type behaviour, on the whole we work really well together and have great craic.
I feel so at home going into work. I've known many of them for so long we've literally grown up together.. seen each other get married, have families, have ups and downs and help pick each other up after a fall. I love where I work

TERFousBreakdown · 08/04/2018 18:52

*staplers

Any colleagues with stalkers are very welcome to keep them. Damn you, autocorrect

Original poster

Pusheenicorn · 08/04/2018 18:52

It was a small company that became three times the size very quickly through acquisitions etc... most people have been there for a while and have this very entitled attitude. My boss is great and shuts it down when she can but when it's senior management causing the fuss her hands are somewhat tied!+

OP posts:

leghairdontcare · 08/04/2018 18:54

My office is really boring. I used to work in a call centre and drama there was pretty high. I would love to see a senior manager start bending spoons, that sounds hilarious.

DeathByMascara · 08/04/2018 18:54

Reminds me of somewhere I worked where the payroll woman (thought she ran the place) ties herself in to knots trying to avoid giving me salary information. I work in finance, I was compiling the budgets and knew what everyone in the place earned. But she was absolutely determined that I shouldn’t have it - no idea what that was all about.

But yeah, your work is nuts.

Katescurios · 08/04/2018 18:57

I work in a call centre environment, generally everyone is professional and courteous but a few times a year, usually when its quieter on the phones, the shit hits the fan and I end up mediating ludicrous arguments or trying to figure out who's been smearing snot on the toilet walls.

Always amazes/frustrates me she it happens as they all seem so normal 90% of the time.

VerbenaGirl · 08/04/2018 18:58

I work in 2 offices (2 part time jobs) and both are lovely, calm, respectful, professional places. My previous workplace also. Nothing like you describe! Having a great boss is a bonus though!

SweetLike · 08/04/2018 19:07

Nothing like that.

I didn't like my last job, but that's because my line manager was awful and it was still nothing like that. We were an open plan office of about 40. New role I'm one of four but it's still very respectful and supportive and 'nice' I would say.

category12 · 08/04/2018 19:12

Nothing like that, no. We're quite nice to each other.

StaplesCorner · 08/04/2018 19:12

in the past couple of years I had a job where my boss - the CEO - would say to me "ok Staples lets do plan A, get started and make sure you do x, y and z!"

2 weeks later he would say "Why would anyone with half a brain not have started plan B and done tasks 1, 2 and 3? You seriously think you should have done plan A?!" Or he'd say you choose. I'd choose plan B, 2 weeks later "You are meant to be experienced why did you do this?! Plan B is useless!!"

So I left, very sadly as it was perfect otherwise.

Then after a while, I got a new job, well you know that Morrissey song - "I was looking for a job and then I found a job/and heaven knows I'm miserable know" - on day 1 everyone ignored me, apparently they hadn't been given any details about me. Another woman joined she'd received a good write up from the CEO with background info on an e-mail saying I hope you'll make NotStaples very welcome and they literally put the flags out! The ignoring went on for weeks, people whispering and stopping when I came in the room, and then sometimes I'd try to start a conversation and they'd all fall silent or walk out.

There was one lady who was nice and when I resigned she said other staff came up to her and said they'd always hated me. I lasted 3 months there and it was exactly as you explain OP.

This week I have to start a new job where there's just me and my boss in a room. I just don't think I am cut out for work ....!!!

NurseryFightClub · 08/04/2018 19:13

Thatmustbenigelwiththebrie, we must work in the same office! I talk to random people on my commute otherwise I'd get no human interaction daily... OP your office is bonkers though.

PurpleRobe · 08/04/2018 19:14

My office is like this too...

Some people manipulate and "bend the truth" to make other people look bad.

Some are impossible to work with and everyone tries to avoid them but unfortunately she has a pivotal role (hr) so can't be avoided. I feel sick every time I have any contact with her.

Some people are anal about everything (including spoons)

Some are lazy selfish bastards.

Why can't people just do a food job and get in with people in a normal nice manner?!!

Sparklesocks · 08/04/2018 19:15

There’s always been a bit of drama in every office I’ve worked in (usually a couple of bored staff members creating it to speed the day up) but never at that scale OP!
I think it’s normal to have a bit of annoyance at being in close proximity to so many people all day (pass agg notes about dirty cups, hotdesking dramas etc) but I’ve never experienced anything like your office

Sitranced · 08/04/2018 19:17

I find my office stifling. The people I work with are all lovely and really supportive but the job is truly awful. I'm not cut out to be institutionalised and I'm working on building my own company. As soon as this takes off I'll be out.

NewYearNewMe18 · 08/04/2018 19:18

many years ago - well I empathis e with you - the one thing I learned is never to give people choices.

They want a coffee machine, you present them with a coffee machine. No discussion or debate about it.

Anecdotally I learned that as a union rep you could hypothetically negotiate to double their salary, halve their hours, double their holiday, have a taxi from door to door, introduce flexi hours, have a free a la carte canteen and someone would still make a face like a cats arse and say "I liked spending my luncheon vouchers in Tesco" . Nothing is ever good enough for some people.

Giving people choice is another dead-desk-slam-repeatedly scenario. Christmas parties. you just tell them its booked, when , where and what time other wise you get the whole poxy menu ishoos (Chinese, Indian, Italian, sushi, tapas, traditional, pub), followed by the old "I do such and such on a Friday, I need to get x train home. So you tell them where to be and what time. End of. People are like fucking Disney lemmings, lobbing themselves off cliffs.

Madcatter · 08/04/2018 19:22

staples that first CEO you describe... I think I've worked for him too!

trojanpony · 08/04/2018 19:26

Heavily air conditioned and heavily political.
Minimal inappropriate remarks to women but massive amounts of chauvinism.
Women are underpaid and under promoted vs men.
Lots of willy waggling and empire building from the men, and assertive women are frowned upon/complained about.

Oh... and
Open plan offices = Hell

KnightsOfCydonia · 08/04/2018 19:28

I work in an office it's fairly uneventful and pleasant to work in however I work in a very small family business with only 4 employees and only ever 3 in the office at any one time, so probably can't compare.
I previously worked in a large company and while there were a few cliques generally everyone got on well with each other.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 08/04/2018 19:32

Lots of office politics, arse kissers & twats-these are mainly the people that seem to get promoted despite knowing fuck all. If you're good at your job yet have a large mouth & can't help pointing out the pitfalls of the latest 'bluesky thinking/outside of the box/drilling down' bullshit idea then you get nowhere... Have a guess which I am? 🤔
I shan't be there much longer though so fuck em

ForalltheSaints · 08/04/2018 19:32

My workplace is not like this. Even the worst place I worked at around 20 years ago was not as bad.

The new senior manager should be sacked in my opinion, or judged to have failed their probationary period.

I hope you can find a better job.

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