To ask for your weird and wonderful online shopping substitutions?

[Whatsubstitution]

Inspired by the substitution of sliced water chestnuts for the actual chestnuts I ordered to go with sprouts for Sunday roast - a totally unrelated product save for the name! Kept it in case I do stir fry or something soon

(Waits for the YABU for cooking sprouts!)

Pampers nappies in a maxi size instead of the minis I ordered

Maybe try a different brand next time tesco..... in the right size?

Ovulation testing kit rather than a pregnancy test. Bit late for that...

Pepperoni pizza substituted for...

Coconut yoghurt.
No one could work that out

I ordered toothpaste and received a toothbrush. Close.

Rice pudding instead of the tinned cream I ordered (I know, it tastes nothing like cream, but I love it ).

Don't get me wrong, I love tinned rice pudding too, but you can't exactly pour it all over your apple pie now can you?

Ordered carrots and got oranges one time, I suppose they're the same colour.
The oddest was ordering garlic bread but getting sent t-towels?!

I have a couple:

1. ordered polenta, received a loaf of rye bread
2. ordered Cheddar, no substitution. This one still baffles me. There was NO cheese they could substitute?
3. mushrooms instead of courgettes.

Plasters instead of heavy flow pads at a time when I was really suffering from super periods.

Oh how I laughed. Not.

Bet the picker was a man.

Mutton mince instead of three lamb shanks 😫

The other week - nothing substituted for a standard thick sliced wholemeal loaf.

I've had screw fitting lightbulbs as a sub for bayonet fitting ones before. That was useful.

A chicken tikka masala ready meal instead of a pint of whole milk.

Baked beans instead of chickpeas.

A tin of soup instead of a tin opener. It wasn't even a ring pull tin

Ordered bananas

Got 1.5 litres of Martini.......

I got 12 packs of crappy basic hand wipes instead of baby wipes. Like I'm going to use those scratchy bastards on my baby's arse, why not literally any other brand of actual baby wipes?!

Two extra large avocados instead of one large one (not complaining as that's extremely good value it's just weird)

A bag of lemons instead of oranges, yeah I'll just sit and peel lemons and eat them with my lunch...

But my bugbear is as above when there's "no substitutions available" like when I ordered frozen prawns but they couldn't manage to give me fresh instead, or when they had no turkey of any kind.

And even worse is when they say there were no subs and then you discover that the person just clearly didn't know the difference between an aubergine and a butternut squash.

I once got double cream instead of goose fat at Christmas, can't roast potatoes in that!

I always look at the total cost of the shopping on the receipt before I start to unload the bags.
I noticed the total was about £30 more than the estimated cost.
Turns out the 30 cans of value chopped tomatoes I had ordered had been substituted by 30 packs of fresh Finest plum tomatoes on the vine.
This was before subs were offered at the same price, but even if they were, I had no use for 30 packs of fresh tomatoes!

Thank you, I love these, in tears of laughter at some!

Makes mine sound sensible. My first ever job after school was in supply chain in a central office, ordering in stock for our UK warehouses for a catering supply company. One KPI was to have as few items out of stock as possible when telesales took orders, and we were allowed to sub occasionally but it had to be an identical product - like Princes tuna in brine instead of own brand tuna in brine (same size can). We wouldn’t be allowed to even sub for tuna in oil for example if I remember correctly.

It wasn’t my natural vocation in life - but if only I could have simply subbed tuna for tinned peaches life would have been a dream!

Ordered garlic puree and got basil. Lady is tesco said their computer suggest weird and wonderful subs and it they have young lads they just go with it. Older pickers tend to override and pick sensible sub

(Vegetarian)
Ordered veggie sausages,ended up with pork sausages.
thanks sm Asda .

No lemons, gave me cif lemon! That was the best one. I suspect someone was having a laugh. From the same supermarket, no frozen breaded haddock, sent me fresh cod fillets. I was pregnant at the time, so they went right back. The smell was enough to set me off.

Condoms= pregnancy test
Toothpaste= no substitution
4 sirloin steaks= 1 fillet
4 sirloin steaks= 2 rump
1 medium avocado= 2 XL avocados
2 x gammon and pineapple= 2 x chicken and pesto (to add to the 2 they had already put in the basket
1 cheese sauce= 1 basil sauce (to add to the one in the basket)
Chedder cheese= no substitution
Brown bread= No substitution
Cabbage= lettuce
Vine plum tomatos= 1 tomato
1 bag baking potatos= 4x 4 bags of baking potatos
Cauliflower = broccoli
Vodka= fosters

Some of these were last week in my 28 subs and 4 unavailables! Then they didn't actually give me the bags containing £37 worth of stuff! Pmsl

My cousin got a pack of Always ultra night-tine sanitary towels in stead of McCoys crisps!.

Ordered 200g of brie from the cheese counter, was delivered 5 x 190g pre packed brie! Not complaining

I once ordered brown rice and received a bottle of smart price brown sauce

The craziest ones are when you order something basic like bread or milk and they don’t even attempt to substitute it, they just say it’s not available. How can a supermarket have no milk?