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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For being annoyed about visitors’ dog

41 replies

chocolatesun · 19/03/2018 15:09

Some friends came to stay last weekend and in advance asked if their dog could stay too. I was a little wary at first but agreed on the basis that I trusted their judgment. My three year old loves dogs and she was very excited when I told her a dog was coming to visit. However when they arrived the guests said their dog was uncomfortable with children and said our daughter couldn’t pat the dog at all. In spite of this they kept the dog with them / let the dog roam throughout the house the entire time. In fact the dog snapped at my daughter twice during the visit (once when my daughter did try to pat her gently and I wasn’t quick enough to intervene). I think it’s very rude (and unsafe!) to bring a dog to stay with a family knowing the dog isn’t good with children. Next time I think I will ask them to keep their dog at home. AIBU?

OP posts:

UpstartCrow · 19/03/2018 15:11

I've owned dogs all my life, and YANBU. Next time they can put the dog in kennels for the safety of your daughter.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 19/03/2018 15:12

Nope. Unless it has some aversion to kennels they can leave it behind next time. You’ll have a good excuse too - it’s behaviour wasn’t good and you won’t have it around your children.

Cath2907 · 19/03/2018 15:12

Dog owner here - it is the owners responsibility to make sure their dog doesn't inconvenience the people around them. When I visit family dog comes and I run round after him (he is a puppy) making sure he doesn't shit on the carpet, eat the electric cables or knock over the small children.
Next time your friends should put dog in kennels.

kaytee87 · 19/03/2018 15:13

Yanbu. Ridiculous to bring a dog that isn't used to children to a house where a 3yo lives!

givemesteel · 19/03/2018 15:15

Yanbu. Totally rude and irresponsible of them to bring a dog like that. It's your house where your 3 year old lives and clearly that was an accident waiting to happen.

I would be furious if a friend's dog snapped at my child and even more so if they knew their dog had tendency to do this. No excuse for a dog to do this, owners need to train it better or stick a muzzle on it, means it's not safe in parks or walks either.

It would affect my friendship with someone tbh, that they chose to put my child at risk like that and I'd probably not invite them again dog or no dog.

upsiedayz · 19/03/2018 15:16

Your guests were completely out of order. In that situation I would probably have insisted that the dog stayed outside/in another room away from DC.

Original poster

chocolatesun · 19/03/2018 15:24

Thanks. Tbh I am more angry than annoyed but don’t want to ruin an otherwise good friendship over it.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/03/2018 15:26

Are they the sort to not understand that a three year old, much like a dog, is not perfectly controllable?

TomRavenscroft · 19/03/2018 15:37

They were out of order but you could possibly have said 'Sure, if the dog is going to be OK with DD?'

But I do get why, if they're friends, you might assume you could trust their judgement and they would be thoughtful enough to realise/remember that you had a small child!

JaneEyre70 · 19/03/2018 15:39

I'm a dog owner and adore my dog - and for his safety, would never take him anywhere where he was out of his comfort zone. Why on earth would you take a dog to a home with a small child in if it doesn't like them?!

They sound like very irresponsible owners. I wouldn't have them back again full stop.

londonista · 19/03/2018 15:41

I have some found dog-owners to be totally clueless when it comes to their own dog. After my 2 year old son had his cheek nipped by my mum's dog - cue "oh she's never done that before", "it's only because he went near her while she was eating" and other similar bullshit - i told her the dog needed to be kept in a different room at all times while visiting. Her attitude was that this was all part and parcel to having a dog in the house. He now has a centimeter long scar on his cheek - all part and parcel, yeah right mum!

I agree it's unfortunate but FFS if it was my dog that did this, even if I thought it was out of character etc, I'd be completely apologetic and make great pains to keep the dog isolated for remainder of trip.

krustykittens · 19/03/2018 15:43

I'm a dog owner and I would be furious with these people! Not only did they put your child at risk but by allowing the dog to roam your house at will, they effectively curtailed you child's movements in her own home. Their behaviour is dangerous and shockingly rude and unless an apology is swiftly offered once it is pointed out to them, they wouldn't be welcome back.

Aw12345 · 19/03/2018 15:46

Are you sure dog definitely snapped? Sometimes things can not be as they seem...? If so then does seem unreasonable to bring doggy along.

I work as a vet and even in that situation it is very rare for a doggy to snap...

Totally understand you being concerned though!! I would be with my kids too!

krustykittens · 19/03/2018 15:48

Snapped or not, these people took a dog that isn't good with kids to a home with a three year old child in it. Who does that?!

HouseworkIsASin10 · 19/03/2018 15:55

Not only did they put your child at risk but by allowing the dog to roam your house at will, they effectively curtailed you child's movements in her own home. Their behaviour is dangerous and shockingly rude and unless an apology is swiftly offered once it is pointed out to them, they wouldn't be welcome back.

Totally agree, I'd be raging.

MrsJayy · 19/03/2018 15:57

Surely they knew you had a little girl and still brought a child wary dog how odd but no I wouldn't allow the dog again.

onalongsabbatical · 19/03/2018 16:04

Never mind the dog, I wouldn't be inviting the friends again. No-one gets to put their dog above my children in my house. End of.

NutElla5x · 19/03/2018 16:15

I am a massive dog lover to the extent I love them more than most people,but no you are definitely not being unreasonable.Your child and her safety must always come first.Your friends presumably know you have a young child,who would obviously be excited by and want to pet the dog,and they knew their dog was uncomfortable around children yet they still chose to bring him along.They are idiots,sorry.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 19/03/2018 16:15

Very very rude and inconsiderate. It's bad enough when people take their children when they are not invited, but a dog like this is dangerous so that is unacceptable.
They are complete idiots, if the dog had bitten your child, they would have been in endless troubles possibly resulting in losing the dog.

Next time I wouldn't ask them anything, just tell them that a dog is not allowed, nor is he allowed to be kept in the car outside.

Bluelady · 19/03/2018 16:18

You're being entirely reasonable. They knew you had a small child. They knew their dog wasn't good with small children yet they still brought it. That's just irresponsible

bridgetreilly · 19/03/2018 16:20

That's ridiculous. It's not even like they were clueless about their dog. They knew it wasn't okay with children and presumably they knew you had a child. They should never have considered bringing it.

geekymommy · 19/03/2018 16:21

They brought a dog that doesn't do well with small children to a house where they KNEW there was a small child. Then the dog SNAPPED at the small child, and yet they did not do anything to keep the child and the dog separated? I think you'd be being unreasonable if you WEREN'T annoyed.

Justmyownself · 19/03/2018 16:25

They told you the dog doesn't like children and it snapped at your daughter twice!

Why the fuxk did you allow the dog to stay after it tried to bite your daughter the first time?

That should have been your que to tell them to leave.

How would you have felt if it had attacked your daughter after the first attempt and left her with serious injuries?

Bad call on your part.

geekymommy · 19/03/2018 16:27

When the dog snapped at DD the first time, you should have firmly asked them how they think you should keep DD and the dog separated. You don't keep a dog around a small child if the dog has snapped at the child. That's a setup for the dog to attack the child, and that's how dogs get put down for being vicious or dangerous.

When I was 8, I had very little experience with dogs. I played with my piano teacher's dog one day. I was throwing a tennis ball for him. At one point, he put it down next to his food. I didn't know any better, so I reached down to pick it up. I got bitten, and I still have a scar on my arm. (This also led to me quitting piano lessons, since I was rather traumatized and got very upset about practicing the piano or going to my piano teacher's house again.)

Kids who don't have a lot of experience with dogs can't be relied on to know better than to do something to provoke the dog. A 3 year old who loves dogs can't be relied on to have the impulse control to refrain from petting the dog. Your friends are idiots.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 19/03/2018 16:28

They knowingly brought a dog which dislikes children into a house with a 3yo. You trusted them and their judgement of their pet. They rather broke that trust. YADNBU. If that was my dog I think I would have made other arrangements for him. The dog would hate it and I would not want to risk someone else's DC, especially a littlie who would find it hard to resist a pat.

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