For being annoyed about visitors’ dog

[chocolatesun]

Some friends came to stay last weekend and in advance asked if their dog could stay too. I was a little wary at first but agreed on the basis that I trusted their judgment. My three year old loves dogs and she was very excited when I told her a dog was coming to visit. However when they arrived the guests said their dog was uncomfortable with children and said our daughter couldn’t pat the dog at all. In spite of this they kept the dog with them / let the dog roam throughout the house the entire time. In fact the dog snapped at my daughter twice during the visit (once when my daughter did try to pat her gently and I wasn’t quick enough to intervene). I think it’s very rude (and unsafe!) to bring a dog to stay with a family knowing the dog isn’t good with children. Next time I think I will ask them to keep their dog at home. AIBU?

Yanbu at all!!

Blimey
I keep my dogs out of the way of kids in my own house. I wouldn't expect a snappy one to be accommodated at someone else's!

they took a massive liberty. they knew their dog didn't like kids yet they didn't think to mention it given you have a 3yo????!?!?!?!!? WTAF.

definitely their dog can't come and stay again. i'd be absolutely fuming.

I'm a dog owner and I would be furious with these people!

This. They are idiots - they put your DD at risk and (though a child's safety is much more important than a dog's) they also put their dog at risk - if it had bitten your child, they would probably have had to put it down. Totally unfair to both child and dog.

Our dog is fine with children but I never, ever leave her unattended with children under about 8 and then only if they are sensible and used to dogs.

Why on earth didn't you ask them to either kennel the dog or leave when it snapped at your three year old?

Our dog doesn't 'show to best advantage' around small children as he really hasn't been around them. DH and I are retired and there just aren't small children in our 'orbit'. At this point, we just don't have him unsupervised around them. He's either in our arms or in his crate. We would never bring him into a home with a small child, let alone let him run loose there.

I wouldn't have those 'friends' to stay again.

In hindsight I wish I had been firmer as soon as I realised the dog was uneasy with children. I did not want to cause offence but of course that is far less important in the scheme of things. When the dog snapped she wasn’t going for a bite, it was more of a warning for the child to back away. Makes me feel a bit sick to think about it.

YANBU.
I always told visiting kids our dog would definitely bite them so they didn't touch him, and we shut him away when they came. Just in case.

I agree with everyone else - YANBU!

Some people just don't seem to understand.. like my FIL, who has had dogs most of his adult life.

Him and Step-MIL recently wanted to take our children 30 minutes away to their house for the day... the day after they got a rescue dog.
For a number of reasons, I said no.

The main reason was because they would have no idea how this dog is around children and I wasn't willing to have mine be the experiment! Especially when they're wary of dogs they aren't familiar with.

As it happens, the dog didn't last the weekend because she was violent!

YADNBU. I'm a dog owner and one of my dogs growls like crazy at everyone including me. He would never ever bite (he is old and has never bitten) but even so I wouldn't allow him a mile around children. When my grandchildren visit he is placed in another room, just in case.

YNBU. I have a dog who is not good with people. He only likes us, my mum and my in laws. I would never take him to someone else's house especially if they had kids. I would be on edge the whole time.

I can't believe that someone would take a dog that is "uncomfortable" around kids to a house with a 3-year old. It's not fair on dog or child.

My first two dogs adored kids and were great with them, but the current one only likes kids that are quite calm, and hates noisy, screechy kids, especially if there's more than one of them. We don't take her to MIL's when the noisy spoilt, ill-disciplined nieces and nephews are there. She hates it, but doesn't snap and just hides in corners. MIL, the other SIL and niece hate it, because they love the dog, but it really isn't fair.

I think your friends sound like crap dog-owners, tbh.

I have the opposite problem. We have small cousins that visit occasionally. The three year old is initially wary of my lovely friendly Labrador but once she’s found her confidence she likes to go up to him and hit him. I think it’s her way of boosting her confidence around him. She did it once and I shut him away. In his own home. She did it again the next time they visited and she got told off and the dog put upstairs. They don’t come that often now. She can’t be trusted. He’s a bit anxious as it is and I don’t want her causing him any behavioural problems and I most certainly don’t want him biting her.

Another dog owner here.

YANBU.

I would never knowingly take my dog around children if I didn't know she was ok with them. It's irresponsible otherwise. In fact, even though she is good with kids, I still keep a very watchful eye because occasionally she runs out of patience in which case it's time to separate her from them and give everyone some space.

A warning from a dog is a good thing though, it's better than going straight to biting. In saying this, it's usually a good sign the dog has had enough and needs space so should probably be removed from the situation to be more comfortable.