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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is not a friend

45 replies

BinorNot · 19/03/2018 14:44

I had an accident at work yesterday and ended up in A&E. Turns out I’ve broken my ankle.

It’s not a terrible injury but was enough of a shock to make me want to call a friend for support.

I called, who I thought was, a close friend but she was quite distant on the phone although did later text to say that she hoped I was OK.

We had previously arranged to meet up later this afternoon but hadn’t made a time or place.

I texted this morning to thank her for her text.

It’s now past 2pm and I haven’t heard from her.

AIBU to think that she isn’t a true friend?

OP posts:
Dancingmonkey87 · 19/03/2018 14:47

She might have had some bad news for all you know op. She texted you to ask if your ok.

falsepriest · 19/03/2018 14:48

Someone with a broken ankle shouldn’t be making such a leap to conclusions.

Thistlebelle · 19/03/2018 14:50

Distant on the phone cold be down to one of a million things entirely unconnected to you.

If my friend had broken her ankle I think I’d assume our meet up was cancelled, unless she actively invited me round to her home.

Judging her “not a true friend” just for this seems extraordinarily oversensitive.

TalkFastThinkSlow · 19/03/2018 14:51

I think you're overreacting. I would just text her to say i hope everythings ok, and then leave it at that. There are most likely other things going on in her life.

dontticklethetoad · 19/03/2018 14:51

falsepriest you're on fire today Grin

ShatnersWig · 19/03/2018 14:56

What is it with all these weird threads today posted by newbies. false? Admittedly, this one isn't going to be as entertaining as "that" other thread today.

Is it Monday that brings them out? It's not even school holidays yet?

WipedOutDaze · 19/03/2018 14:58

I am sorry you broke your ankle Flowers. You must have had a bad shock and felt alone at the hospital.

Your friend did text to say she hoped you are OK. It would have been nice for you if she had done more, but as things stand you cannot know what her day involved. As to not hearing from her today, she must also most likely have presumed your meeting today would be cancelled.

This does not mean she is not your friend. But possibly you see her as more of a 'best' friend - in a friendship where you both might rely quite heavily on each other - than she sees herself as being. An ordinary friend might just think that you had closer family or friends to look after you.

Original poster
BinorNot · 19/03/2018 14:58

I’m not a newbie. Just NC’d for this thread as friend is on MN.

Ok, so I’m BU. I can take that.

OP posts:
SpringHen · 19/03/2018 14:59

Snow day??

Surely nobody over the age of 14 would throw a tanty like this for not getting enough attention for visiting a&e for something non life threatening?

SpringHen · 19/03/2018 15:01

Did you open with "I'M IN A&E" and leave a long vague gap before explaining that noone had or might die??

That'll turn most people a bit cool on ya?

Allthewaves · 19/03/2018 15:02

She might have been in the middle of something when u rang so sounded distant. She sent a text to see if u were ok. And you thanked her for text - why does she need to reply?

MyNewBearTotoro · 19/03/2018 15:04

Very brave to start a thread about a friend you know uses MN. Unless you’ve changed a lot of the details I am sure if she saw this she would recognise the scenario and I expect she would feel a bit upset by it.

WipedOutDaze · 19/03/2018 15:04

Spring, the OP has just had a very nasty accident, and a bas shock, life threatening or not.
Everyone likes a friend to lean on, even if in real life that isn't always possible.

Original poster
BinorNot · 19/03/2018 15:04

Thank you WipedOut it was a bad shock as you say, mainly because the cause of the fall was a faulty ladder so I was lucky I was only a third the way up.

I suppose I felt that if it had been the other way round, I’d have been more sympathetic. But maybe I am expecting too much.

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh1 · 19/03/2018 15:07

maybe she was busy when you phoned?

Thinkingofausername1 · 19/03/2018 15:08

In my opinion people like to dance In Your sunshine but not your rain ☔️

Original poster
BinorNot · 19/03/2018 15:08

X posted with another kind post from you Wiped.
Thank you for understanding. Yes, that’s exactly it. I needed a friend to lean on right then and I felt a bit snubbed.

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh1 · 19/03/2018 15:09

How was she distant? Did you want her to come to the hospital?

TheLlamaLikesDrama · 19/03/2018 15:13

Bloody hell. She texted, what more support do you need! All I see on here sometimes is people need 'support' for everything and people 'reaching out'.
Just get on with it.
You slipped down a ladder and say yourself you were only a third of the way up, so not a big fall by any means. You obviously landed awkwardly and unfortunately broke your ankle, but your friend texted to check on you. What do you want from her? Saying she's not a true friend because of what, that she didn't come and wipe your arse for you? Seriously.

Original poster
BinorNot · 19/03/2018 15:13

No, I didn’t expect her to come to the hospital. I just wanted to talk to a friend.

I did ask if it was a bad time to call as soon as she picked up. And she said no. But when I told her what happened, she didn’t say very much and then said “well, I hope you get it sorted out. Good luck” and hung up.

OP posts:
flowerslemonade · 19/03/2018 15:16

Sorry you've broken your ankle :(

SpringHen · 19/03/2018 15:19

WipedOut thing is some people get a fright if called from a&e if its not immediately made clear that its not serious.

And other people enjoy that reaction a bit...

WipedOutDaze · 19/03/2018 15:19

It will be difficult for a while now. Do you have an help at home, and for getting to the hospital checks if your foot is in plaster?

Original poster
BinorNot · 19/03/2018 15:24

Hi Wiped. I live alone and my family is in another country. I have a few friends and luckily one of them is being amazing. She was the second person I phoned and she very kindly came round my house with some bits and pieces from the supermarket (I hadn’t asked her to) even though she is so busy with her own family. I feel very lucky to have her.

But that’s why I posted about the first friend. I wasn’t sure if I was BU to think that she’s not a real friend.

OP posts:
Inthedeepdarkwinter · 19/03/2018 15:24

Some people have odd friends.

I'm definitely sympathetic if my friend had injured themselves, it usually is a shock.

I do wonder if she was at work/in a situation and couldn't really talk though, as her abrupt behaviour would be rude otherwise.

If she texted back to check on you, then clearly she did think about you after that.

I would then check in again with a friend I was meeting after lunch that day.

I wouldn't deduce she's a shit friend, but I would wonder what was going on with her.