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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make a complaint about someone I find creepy

30 replies

Forgottencoffee · 14/03/2018 08:54

Or WIBU, rather.

It's a gym instructor.

Ordinarily, the gym instructors hang around in the office attached to the gym (with the doors open) or walk around cleaning the equipment. This guy however, hangs around empty equipment staring at women people or hanging around their machines making small talk. He doesn't seem to be offering any advice or encouragement to those he leers at speaks to and they don't seem to respond much to him.

The next bit would form the main part of my complaint:
I went a few days ago and he was sat side saddle on one of the spin bikes chatting to a woman (who was chatting back, texting and 'spinning' at a snails pace). I like to incorporate the bikes in to my workout but as there are only two, I was unable to.

I usually end up leaving the gym early because I just find it so uncomfortable when he's there and unfortunately there are no other gyms nearby or really any other times I could visit.

Would I be unreasonable to make a(n anonymous) complaint about his conduct?

OP posts:

snash12 · 14/03/2018 08:55

I'm not sure you can complain about him talking to a woman whilst she was half heartedly spinning. Could you not have asked him to move so you could use the second bike?

mumonashoestring · 14/03/2018 08:56

Did you ask him to move off the spin bike?

scurryfunge · 14/03/2018 08:56

Why didn’t you ask him to move at the time?

TheHulksPurplePants · 14/03/2018 08:58

Why not ask him to move?

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 14/03/2018 09:03

How did he know you wanted to use the bike?

You want to complain because he never read your mind?

He might give you the creeps, but I don't see that you have grounds to complain sorry.

Percypig5 · 14/03/2018 09:04

I work in a gym and we are not supposed to hang around in the office (though most do) and are meant to be on the gym floor engaging with/helping members. Definitely shouldn’t be sitting on the machines though - did he clock that you wanted the bike?

Lifeisabeach09 · 14/03/2018 09:07

Doesn't seem much you can complain about. Sitting on gym equipment, looking at gym goers. All seems trivial at the moment.

TheRebel · 14/03/2018 09:07

I’d say something, if he’s making you uncomfortable then he’s probably making other women uncomfortable too, except women are socialised not to say anything and be polite.

BusterTheBulldog · 14/03/2018 09:07

Did he refuse to move when you asked? If not, I don’t think you can complain.

thismeansnothing · 14/03/2018 09:07

When I worked in a gym we weren't allowed to be hanging around the office or stood at the main desk. We had to be cleaning/chatting to members. On the kit next to them or stood. It didn't have to be flogging 1:1 sessions, it was allowed to just be small talk. It's customer retention and we were targeted on how many people we'd interacted with in each shift. You could have just asked him if you could use the kit he was sat on. It would be u reasonable to complain

TIRFandProud · 14/03/2018 09:12

Did you ask him to move?

You come across as childish, petty and cowardly.

He was having a conversation (that's what it's called when one person speaks and another chats back) and a little thoughtless to take up the machine but unless you asked him to move and he refused then you're acting like a dickhead.

Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder about the 'oppressive sex'.

Why use such misandrist terms as "creepy" and "leer"?

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 09:14

Ask him to move next time. There should be an instructor "hanging around" in the gym, ready to help out people, correct their bad postures and just be seen!

NewYearNewMe18 · 14/03/2018 09:16

Would I be unreasonable to make a(n anonymous) complaint about his conduct?

Why are you so spineless and cannot discuss this with the management ?

Couchpotato3 · 14/03/2018 09:17

I don't think you have much to complain about (yet). Why not ask him to move if he gets in your way again, and engage him in some chat yourself to see what he comes up with - ask him for some help with equipment or advice?

On the face of it, it sounds as though he is just doing his job - chatting to customers etc. If you are uncomfortable with speaking to him, that is your problem, but you can hardly complain that he is acting inappropriately if you have never interacted with him directly.

It is OK to find some people creepy and to trust your instincts on this. However, I really don't think you can actually complain about this man without having something more concrete to say.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 14/03/2018 09:17

How spiteful of you....i hope someone complains about you to your boss for non existent reasons.

KochabRising · 14/03/2018 09:19

The correct response was ‘hi excuse me, I’d like to use the bike... cheers!’

If you asked and he refused that’s a different matter

RedRedDogsBeg · 14/03/2018 09:21

Good god!!

What is wrong with mumsnet at the moment?

Leer? Creepy? Get a GRIP!!

LeighaJ · 14/03/2018 09:24

If you didn't ask to use the bike he was using as a chair and by the sounds of it he hasn't turned his creepdar on you then I'm not sure what you'd be complaining about exactly. 🤔

WinstonlovesJulia1984 · 14/03/2018 09:25

The only thing worth complaining about would be if you had asked him to move so that you could use the bike and he had refused. Did you ask him?

Original poster

Forgottencoffee · 14/03/2018 09:26

TIRFandProud we must have met before.
NewYearNewMe18 Yes.

Lesson learnt: grow a backbone and ask him to move next time. Cheers guys!

OP posts:

OnionKnight · 14/03/2018 09:26

Really?

ConstantlyCold · 14/03/2018 09:28

It sounds like he’s doing his job

Smeaton · 14/03/2018 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Forgottencoffee · 14/03/2018 09:33

Smeaton OMG, have you been checking my emails? You git!

OP posts:

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2018 09:37

Blimey I had read the first post 3 times to understand exactly what he was doing that has upset you so much!

Regarding him being sat chatting to the woman on the bike, surely if you'd just said that you wanted to go on it he would have moved?

Maybe best to find another gym. Without any men who work there.

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