Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Not an AIBU but am posting for traffic for advice

49 replies

Chickinlikin · 11/03/2018 09:22

I have agreed to help decorate my friend's 17 year old daughter's bedroom when she is away on holiday as a surprise. I am thinking grey walls with a bit of mustard colour or maybe some wallpaper panels - anyone done similar?

OP posts:

Dodie66 · 11/03/2018 09:43

Have you asked what they like? I would try and find out their tastes. Are the parents helping you? What do they think of your ideas?

TitaniasCloset · 13/03/2018 13:04

You really need the 17 year olds input, lovely idea, but I imagine at 17 she has strong ideas about her bedroom already.

Shadow666 · 13/03/2018 13:05

I loved decorating when I was in my teens. I really think she would know what she likes better than a bunch of random son the internet.

TheQueenOfWands · 13/03/2018 13:05

You need to asked her.

I'd be really put out if someone painted my walls grey and mustard.

MrsHathaway · 13/03/2018 13:06

Please don't, and please talk your friend out of it.

My room was decorated for me when I was away as a "lovely surprise" when I was a teenager. It was a real invasion of my privacy and I hated both the surprise and the result. It also meant (obviously) I then couldn't have it decorated to my taste as it no longer needed doing.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 13/03/2018 13:07

Mustard? Revolting

upsideup · 13/03/2018 13:09

Lovely idea but I really do think she will want some input, I dont many 17 year olds who like mustard.

NerrSnerr · 13/03/2018 13:12

I would ask the daughter first! I imagine decorating her room means there'll be some element of going through her things. I wouldn't have been happy with that, I definitely had stuff in my bedroom I didn't want my mum to see when age 17 (and certainly not mum's friends!)

Why not involve her so she gets the room she wants.

PinkLemonade4 · 13/03/2018 13:12

I would not want mustard. You need to ask her or find out what she likes..

tigerrun · 13/03/2018 13:12

I would hate grey and mustard - but lots of people wouldn't. Decorating is such a personal thing, the 'surprise' element sounds like a terrible idea (despite the decorating thing being a lovely idea).

I'd get the 17 year old involved, get her to do a pinterest page of ideas and influences then make decisions based on that.

Kids/teens bedrooms are usually the one place they can have influence in terms of their environment, it could very easily backfire. Then they hate it, but have to be polite and can't change it as money and time has been spent and they should be grateful as it was a 'kind' thing to do then have to live with it until they leave home....speaking from experience of a hideous red and white wallpaper 'surprise' when I was younger....and grey and mustard or wallpaper panels sounding in a very similar vein!

TwitterQueen1 · 13/03/2018 13:13

Sorry but it sounds ghastly IMHO. It's such a huge thing to do you shouldn't do it without knowing what colours she likes.

tigerrun · 13/03/2018 13:15

Also I was younger when this happened to me, but at 17 my parents would have found my diary, birth control probably some paraphernalia they wouldn't have been happy about, letters from boyfriends etc etc...I would have been livid if someone had been in my room whilst I was away at that age! Another reason to consult her before that happens...

GrooovyLass · 13/03/2018 13:16

Woah I would have done my nut if someone had done that to me at 17! Are you really sure that she'll appreciate someone messing with her bedroom like that?

Rightsaidmabel · 13/03/2018 13:18

Just no!

SweetMoon · 13/03/2018 13:19

I am not sure the teen will welcome wholeheartedly the surprise. I know I would have loved my room done at that age, but with my input!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 13/03/2018 13:21

That is not a nice surprise. Don't do it.

How would you feel if you came back from holiday and your mum and her mate had redecorated according to their taste without even asking you? Oh, and they would have had to move all your stuff around too as they were doing it.

Do. Not. Do. It.

Orchidflower1 · 13/03/2018 13:23

Another one saying I think the parents should ask first if their dd has a preference so at least she knows it’s being done. I went away to uni - came back for first hols and my dm had done it as a surprise - I hated colour and it felt like being pushed out of “ my room

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 13/03/2018 13:23

Only if the daughter has input....

My mum did this when I was 12,in pink... I hated pink

pawpatrolearworm · 13/03/2018 13:25

If I came back from holiday and found my room painted mustard and grey I would go apeshit!

GerdaLovesLili · 13/03/2018 13:26

Get the room's owner to make a pinterest board. Then you'll know what she actually wants. Don't for god's sake turn her sanctuary into an on-trend boutique hotel bedroom.

Avasarala · 13/03/2018 13:26

You'll have to move all her furniture and all her stuff - no. She's not a child. At 17, you need your own private space which isn't being invaded when you go away for a week. I'd feel so angry if someone did that. And, if you go ahead with it, why are you choosing the colours? Shouldn't her mum at least try and find out what she would like? This is such a bad idea. Stay out of it.

pigsDOfly · 13/03/2018 13:27

I love grey walls, but I'm not a 17 year old girl. But with mustard? Sounds nasty.

Going into someone's room and decorating it without their knowledge is a huge invasion of their personal space. Please don't do it.

Pengggwn · 13/03/2018 13:57

She's too old to have her bedroom decorated 'as a surprise'.

MrsHathaway · 13/03/2018 14:02

I'm so glad everyone agrees that a total surprise is inappropriate.

You could still do the decorating with a big reveal, but she needs to have input first, and the opportunity to clear the room of her private things (eg into packing boxes) and put them away again afterwards.

On those terms it could be quite nice to go away knowing all your things were safe, and come back to a room in colours/paper you had already shortlisted, without the upheaval of its happening while you need to sleep in it.

Original poster

Chickinlikin · 13/03/2018 21:48

I think you all make a valid point - she may not like it at all. I am not really talking mustard, more ochre but the basis would be grey. She has already tried to paint one of the walls grey but it was a bit of a mess. I will speak to her mum and see what she says - it's up to her if she wants to do it, I just said I would help - I wouldn't be doing it on my own. And for the record I would have loved someone to have done this for me when I was younger.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2