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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People are obsessed with weight

32 replies

Ribrabrob · 25/02/2018 12:58

People (mostly men) find it necessary to comment on my weight a lot, even though I don't talk about my weight with others. Now, I wouldn't say I'm particularly 'fat', and admittedly I could do with losing a stone, however I find it shocking the amount of comments I've received about my weight.
'I don't usually like chubby women but you're ok'
'If you lost a bit of weight you'd be gorgeous'
'Your ass is huge'
'Your vagina is chubby' (yes, this was said in all seriousness)
To name just a few.

It's not just that I'm in denial, because as I said I know I could lose a bit however I'm not huge. But aibu to think that people seem absolutely obsessed with people's bodies and weight? Aibu to wonder why this is? And also wonder why people don't realise how offensive some comments can be?

OP posts:

doesthislookoddtoyou · 25/02/2018 13:01

I think its just the quality of people you know. No-one has ever said any of those things to me.

Phosphorus · 25/02/2018 13:04

I can't imagine anyone saying that to me.

What kind of people are you counting as friends!?

FranticallyPeaceful · 25/02/2018 13:07

Jesus. You need to meet new people

Merryoldgoat · 25/02/2018 13:07

I’m very fat. No one has ever said that kind of thing to me. However that may be because it’s apparent after about 12 seconds I wouldn’t tolerate such abhorrent behaviour.

I do agree, though, that our world is weight obsessed. My weight tells you nothing about me other than I eat too much. It’s not a character flaw, it doesn’t make me stupid or horrible and I hate the was fat = invisible so often.

I’m lucky, I have a very nice life and family and a well paid job where I’m respected and well thought of but I know other fat people who find job hunting and making friends hard because of perceptions about weight.

Birdsgottafly · 25/02/2018 13:09

Men think that they have a right to openly critique Women, which is why we have 'cat calling'.

The papers do it daily. That's as well as Overweight/Obesity suddenly being everyone's business.

Some of the comments sounds like negging, though.

does this look odd to you are you on the dating scene currently?

Birdsgottafly · 25/02/2018 13:11

Well done for victim blaming merryoldgoat.

TheQueenOfWands · 25/02/2018 13:11

People are obsessed with weight.

Starts the day you're born. One of the first things people ask is the baby's weight.

Never stops from that point on.

Ridiculous.

HuskyMcClusky · 25/02/2018 13:12

Someone you were (presumably) about to have sex with called your vagina chubby?! Jesus Christ, what a prince.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 25/02/2018 13:16

I can't believe that a #mingepedant hasn't been along to tell you that did the rude bastard not actually mean you have a fat vulva or mons pupis?as its totes imposs to have a fat vagina!!

I think when you are a little bit fat you are seen as fair game, I'm 'fat' fat and my friend is a little bit fat, she used to get those type of comments all the time ... and I didn't!

Sarahjconnor · 25/02/2018 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HuskyMcClusky · 25/02/2018 13:17

#mingepedant

🤣

troodiedoo · 25/02/2018 13:20

I'm fat as fuck and nobody says shit like that to me. Stop hanging with losers.

I've been very slim in the past. I've always said the only difference is that you get hit on by shallow a holes when you are thin.

Deshasafraisy · 25/02/2018 13:22

The only person that has ever commented on my weight is my mother and my mother in law. No one else. I need to lose around 3 stone.

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2018 13:23

I also think you need to meet a better quality of people.

Please tell me you didn't actually have sex with the arsehole who told you you had a chubby vagina.

AwayAndStuffYourself · 25/02/2018 13:27

People are obsessed with weight because it's constantly held up as a stealth measure of our actual worth as people. It's utterly depressing, and even some of the loveliest people, who are utterly sensible and not swayed by any of the other bullshit, see those around them through this lens. I say this as a fat person myself.

WiseOldHag · 25/02/2018 13:32

Starts the day you're born. One of the first things people ask is the baby's weight.

I've never thought of that before. So true.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 25/02/2018 13:36

I didn't think merryoldgoat was victim-blaming, BirdsGottaFly, I thought it was a supportive post.

Yes, to Starts the day you're born... we don't have to play along with this shit though.

HuskyMcClusky · 25/02/2018 13:37

Tbf, asking the baby’s weight came about because birth weight is correlated with health.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 25/02/2018 13:41

Humans are genetically programmed to have a pad of fat in their pubic area or Mons Pubis.
I hope you sent Chubby Vagina man packing with "what a shame your dick's underweight" ringing in his ears.

MikeUniformMike · 25/02/2018 13:41

They comment because they are idiots.

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2018 13:46

#mingepedant

LilacClouds · 25/02/2018 13:55

Quite clearly people should not be personal about weight or anything else. However I think the reason that some do comment is because especially in today's society, image is everywhere and however you present is seen as making a statement about yourself whether you intend to or not.

With all the social media, likes and clicks and comments and swiping left and right etc, people are more conditioned to making judgements based on appearance. Thin people are seen as having more self control/"mindfulness"/ discipline etc to not overeat whereas fat people the opposite. All of it's seen as fair game to comment. People who are thin or fit will get comments too except they are more likely to be admiring comments because it is harder to maintain a slim figure than it is to deny most of the widely available junk food out there (another part of the problem), do exercise etc, than it is to overeat/overindulge/not exercise. Fat is seen as a weakness in our image-obsessed society.

However only very shallow people who think someone's image or weight is the sum total of their worth would judge. These people are not really worth knowing or taking seriously if they are so shallow (and rude).

Medwaymumoffour · 25/02/2018 14:02

I’m chunky. The only three rude people who say it to my face are mil, step mil and my mum. I wouldn’t take that kind of shot off of anyone else and I can’t ditch the “mums”.

I think all three show they are vacuous air heads for saying it.

I have a degree but all those three aren’t qualified. Do I call them stupid? No. Why? Cause I’m not a insecure bitch that needs to pick people apart.

My Dh is quite overweight and it’s true that lots of people can’t see beyond that. He’s stopped seeing family now. His family do seem very, very shallow. You could be a prize A hole as long as your attractive you will be held in high esteem ( as it looks good on FB). Eg We are
constantly told how clever / wonderful sil is. When I asked what she does all day ( young, no kids) she cleans her apartment. Nothing stands out as her being talented, she’s just very attractive which = a perfect person. She may well be very clever but if she was a arse she would look good o FB for the put on picture perfect life.

I think socail media has a lot to answer for

specialsubject · 25/02/2018 14:28

You lot know some seriously dull people ! Op, if these losers are coming from a dating site you need to change plan.

I have a friend who is very fat, always has been and knows it. We never mention it, why would you? Personal comments are so rude.

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2018 14:29

I think socail media has a lot to answer for

And yet it's rare to find a parent who doesn't post photos of their kids, for the likes and love hearts.

I know they say it's so Aunt Nellie in Canada can see them growing up, but they could easily text or email them.

I don't think it's social media that has a lot to answer for, it's the people who use it.

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