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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BABYSITTER HELP

52 replies

stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 22:59

So my DS was babysitting last night for a friend of mine, everything good, end of night my friend asks him if he would be able to babysit next saturday, he says he is sure he can but will check with me.
Then this morning I received a text from another friend saying would DS be able to babysit Saturday.

Usually he would just do 'first come first serve' but he feels loyalty to the mum who texted me, he has babysat there for ages and they have a good relationship and so doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to offend either.

Would it be unreasonable to cancel on the person he said yes to first? Also they are going out together which makes things more complicated!!!!

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 24/02/2018 23:00

If he has already said yes, he should honour it. Could he manage the kids in one house if they paid him more? or get a responsible friend to help?

littlemissrain · 24/02/2018 23:06

No, he already said yes to the first person, he has to honour it.

If my kids agree to go somewhere/do something with/for someone, I make them stick to it even if they get a better offer. It's a life lesson. You keep your word.

The other mum should have asked sooner.

ilovesooty · 24/02/2018 23:09

He should sit for the people who asked him first and whose request he's accepted subject to your approval.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 24/02/2018 23:11

It makes it less complicated really because he absolutely has to keep to the person who is asked first or he will be caught out

Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:11

It’s not even a better offer but it’s simply he said to the other women when he took over the job that he would give her first dibs and said he would text her. Normally I would say he has to go with First Lady but I’m a little torn here because he made this other commitment.

OP posts:
PhelanThePain · 24/02/2018 23:12

First come first served. Other friend is a normal human being who Understands that he doesn’t sit in waiting for her call right?

ilovesooty · 24/02/2018 23:13

He can't make a commitment to someone he didn't know was going out that night.

Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:13

Yes of course but she is a very good friend and has always been very good to DS and I did mention when he took on a new ‘client’ (in a loose sense) that this would happen.

OP posts:
Louiselouie0890 · 24/02/2018 23:14

Can he babysit them all?

Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:15

I wouldn’t have thought so, 7 kids all together!!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 24/02/2018 23:16

Look it’s fine - he’s already committed to another arrangement, so he can’t.

Same as if he was going out with his mates for a birthday party- he just happens to be unavailable next Saturday. He doesnt have to say why.

Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:16

I think he is going to have to stick to first person... he just doesn’t know how to tell other lady as he promised he would put her first:

OP posts:
Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:17

The problem is they are going out together so it could come up and he doesn’t want to offend anyone

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 24/02/2018 23:18

it’s simply he said to the other women when he took over the job that he would give her first dibs and said he would text her

What does this mean? He has to tell a casual babysitter client that he’s been asked first by someone else? Confused

Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:19

I realise it might seem a little odd but we are good friends and he said he would text mum a (shall we say.) just checking that she doesn’t need DS for that date.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 24/02/2018 23:19

His girlfriend wants him to babysit on Saturday but he’s already promised to babysit for someone else?

NoSquirrels · 24/02/2018 23:20

That’s a batshit arrangement! He’s not a nanny...

Birdsgottafly · 24/02/2018 23:20

Have you got younger children, can you do it?

Or does he know anyone who could?

I agree that it should be the first one who asked who he sits for.

Glumglowworm · 24/02/2018 23:20

He should stick to the first person who asked him.

If it bothers you so much you could babysit for the second person yourself

Saying “sorry I can’t, Person A asked me first” is far simpler than saying “I said yes but now I can’t because person B asked after you”

Mumtothenipper · 24/02/2018 23:21

Just reply with: “Sorry xxx DS has already committed to babysit for yyy on Saturday. Do you have any dates you’d like to get in his diary now while you think of it? Sorry he can’t help this time.”

Walkerbean16 · 24/02/2018 23:21

Could you offer to babysit for the second lady as a one off to get your son out of a pickle? if not he just needs to say he can't do it to the second woman as he is already booked up.

Lalliella · 24/02/2018 23:26

Stick to the first commitment always. If a babysitter ditched us for someone else like that we wouldn’t employ them again.

Original poster
stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 23:33

Lalliella Would you employ a babysitter again if they couldn't do the date?

Also I can't babysit because I am also out.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 24/02/2018 23:43

He just tells person but that he can't do it on this occasion as person a asked first.
If it was such a firm commitment he needed to say that he would have to check that person b didn't need him before saying yes to person a.

Judydreamsofhorses · 24/02/2018 23:52

I used to do loads of babysitting while I was at uni - I started off with one family, who recommended me to their friends. I often had multiple requests for the same night, and would always go with the people who asked first, even if they tipped less or left rubbish snacks. Usually the parent who rang and got told sorry would say “damn, X got there first”, and that would be that. It would look totally flaky to back out on the first person now.