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AIBU?

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Original poster

BABYSITTER HELP

52 replies

stacey892871 · 24/02/2018 22:59

So my DS was babysitting last night for a friend of mine, everything good, end of night my friend asks him if he would be able to babysit next saturday, he says he is sure he can but will check with me.
Then this morning I received a text from another friend saying would DS be able to babysit Saturday.

Usually he would just do 'first come first serve' but he feels loyalty to the mum who texted me, he has babysat there for ages and they have a good relationship and so doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to offend either.

Would it be unreasonable to cancel on the person he said yes to first? Also they are going out together which makes things more complicated!!!!

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 24/02/2018 23:53

I am in agreement he goes with the first person that asked.

second person has no preferential rights. ..

yes if I knew someone who would look after my DC well I wouldn't never use them again because they weren't available every time I need them

MacaroniPenguin · 25/02/2018 00:06

What did he mean by giving B "first dibs"? Presumably he doesn't ring and check with her that he's not needed before he makes a booking with anyone else, that would be silly. Ditto he wouldn't cancel booked work if she asked for him, would he? So I don't think first dibs really means much. If anything, I suppose, it would mean picking B over A in this time though.

I think personally he should go with A but either way, he's unlikely to burn any bridges as long as he gets back to them both promptly. Either of them should understand that he had a prior engagement so was not available, whichever way he decides to go (A! Go with A!). Babysitters have lives, it's fine. And he should maybe clarify to himself exactly what he means by first dibs, for next time.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 25/02/2018 00:38

It sounds a bit like all the mums/parents (possibly including you?) are out together?

In which case the arrangement could be a big sleepover for all the kids at one of the houses, and with several (trusted) teenagers being responsible?

CocoLoco87 · 25/02/2018 00:51

I was in this predicament when I was younger. The mum I was loyal to rang the one who'd asked first and told her not to pinch her babysitter Grin it was all said in good humour but she meant it!

AnathemaPulsifer · 25/02/2018 01:01

Did the friend he was babysitting for last night know that he's her friend's primary babysitter? Sounds like they've made plans during the evening and she was deliberately trying to get in there first. If he hadn't confirmed yet he could say that before he could confirm with you you had already booked him out for his regular babysitting job?

MaggieFS · 25/02/2018 05:06

I can't for the life of me think why this has got so complicated. Either

  1. he said to the lady y I have to check x doesn't already need me, in which case he's fine to say sorry I can't do it
  2. he slightly cocked up what he said and wasn't clear x has first dibs so on this one occasion he has to say to x I'm v sorry I cocked up and told y I was free

Then as pp said, get x to get her dates booked in. If she's a friend and not unreasonable, surely she'll see she can't have him at beck and call whatever the notice given. Honesty definitely the best policy if they know each other.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/02/2018 05:13

Unless he’s being paid some sort of retainer second woman doesn’t get priority. Just reply saying “sorry B, I’m already booked for A”.

PastaOfMuppets · 25/02/2018 05:20

He was probably being nice telling the other woman he'd give her first dibs, but needs to realise (and I'd guess he will now) that if he were to really do that he would quickly stop being asked by anyone else - this is an awkward position for him to be in but if he is polite, clear and apologetic about it to the other woman it will be ok.

huha · 25/02/2018 05:20

If he tells person A no and babysits for person B, and A&B are out together, things will end very badly. What a silly arrangement he has with person B. He can't base his babysitting jobs on her availability! That's bonkers!

BoomBoomsCousin · 25/02/2018 05:56

He hasn't actually agreed to babysit for A yet, he said he would check. Prioritising some clients is a perfectly valid practice, it isn't cheeky or dishonest. But he should think about how he (he, not you!) really wants to it. Would he prefer to prioritise the "Best" jobs (easiest kids, best rate, best treats provided, easiest journey home, most frequent client, etc.) If so, how is he going to handle that? Is he going to check with some clients every time he gets asked to babysit? Do they get to book x weeks ahead and everyone else only gets 1 week ahead? It wouldn't hurt either party to realise that he's in demand, but unless he's got more work than he can handle, or one is particularly regular work, he might want to go with a simple first come first served until he can afford to be choosy. Building up a wide client base is also a good business practice.

princesssparkle1 · 25/02/2018 06:14

He babysat for B who asked him to babysit again next week. He said yes as long as it was ok with you.

why did he have to ask you? How old is he?*

When he got home his girlfriend asked him to babysit for HER next week on the same night as B had asked.

He just says , sorry I've already got a job babysitting for B

HuskyMcClusky · 25/02/2018 06:17

You keep saying ‘He’s going out with her’. With whom? Woman A? As in, he’s dating her?!

I’m so confused. ConfusedConfusedConfused

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/02/2018 06:20

If he wants to really give the person he started baby sitting for in the beginning first dibs, they need to pay him every Saturday evening whether or not they need him. It was a bit of a silly thing to say. But he’s young and your friends shouldn’t expect to hold him to do a silly commitment like this.

BoomBoomsCousin · 25/02/2018 06:23

No, no princess and Husky. The DS isn't dating either woman. The two women are going out together and so may discuss the fact he's babysitting for one of them. So if he turns down the first woman who asked (whom he said he thought he could sit for, but would have to check with OP) in favour of his older client, the first woman may work out she was dropped even though the other woman asked second.

HuskyMcClusky · 25/02/2018 06:25

Oh, duh 🤦‍♀️!

Okay, he just needs to honour his commitment to the person who he said yes to first for that night. Which is Woman A.

princesssparkle1 · 25/02/2018 06:31

Fuck me this is complicated! 😂😂

T2517 · 25/02/2018 06:39

I do loads of babysitting and have done for about ten years. People absolutely book you again if you can’t do one date - hey, babysitters have lives too and it’s hard to find babysitters you trust. If you lie to the lady who asked first, it’s more likely she won’t hire him again and he’ll completely lose her as a client. Text your friend and explain he’s booked!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 25/02/2018 07:08

Can he get a friend to babysit for the others? That's what I did aeons ago when I was unable just once to sit for my regular couple - loaded and went out a lot! - who were my main source of income.
Downside was that they then felt obliged to use my friend on a regular basis, too.

The dad used to take me home in his E-Type though so I was prepared to be forgiving.

emmyrose2000 · 25/02/2018 07:15

I think he should babysit for Lady A.

I'm sure Lady B will still hire him again in the future. If he's a good babysitter (and it sounds like he is, if he's got two families vying for his time), Lady B would be a fool to stop hiring him again just because he wasn't available this time.

What if he had already been booked for a third, unrelated, family before Lady B called him? Hopefully he wouldn't have ditched them in favour of Lady B.

BadLad · 25/02/2018 07:19

He babysits for A, and tells B that he's sorry, but he's unavailable this time.

Good business lesson for him. B will be disappointed, but she'll respect him for sticking to commitments already made. Clients generally find that reassuring.

FlouncyDoves · 25/02/2018 07:47

Depends whether he’s happy having only one family to sit for or not. If he’s looking to do it every weekend (say Fri and Sat nights) to save for something then he needs as many clients as he can get and should honour Person A’s booking. If he’s looking to just have a bit of extra pocketmoney every now and then then stick with just Person B.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/02/2018 07:54

Why did your ds need to check with you?

Ru driving /picking him up

Your ds should know what he is doing next weekend

A asked him first. He needs to do her

B doesn’t get first dibs unless she has booked him for lots of dates

No one turns down bs work Incase andorhr family may have them

Lillylollylandy · 25/02/2018 08:37

I think I get it. The two MUMS are on the same night out? He committed to A first. B needs to get better organised or pay him a retainer.

SouthWestmom · 25/02/2018 10:03

Not being funny op but how do you and your ds get through each day if this has floored you?

Klarabing · 25/02/2018 10:07

I think he should just go out that night and babysit for no one.