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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a dickhead or is he a selfish bastard?

40 replies

Justalittlelemondrizzle · 21/02/2018 20:57

Today both dh and i have been to work today. I work while the dc's are at school so have also dropped them off and picked them up. Ive come home cooked everyones tea, sorted school bags/sports bags/lunchboxes for tomorrow and tidied the house. Dh got in before and is now watching the football after eating his tea. I dropped dd off at a club an hour ago and it's almost time for her to be picked up. I told him to pick her up as I have a headache, currently lay in a dark room mumsnetting. It's 10 minutes there and back max.
He started shouting at me, refusing to pick her up as he's watching the football, saying I do this on purpose and that I'm a dickhead etc and that no one else would make him do that!? I haven't asked him to pick his child up 'on purpose'. I called him a selfish bastard and made him go get her.

AIBU? Am I being a dickhead or is he?

OP posts:
ApocalypseNowt · 21/02/2018 20:59

He is weapons grade dickhead. HTH.

ApocalypseNowt · 21/02/2018 21:00

He is a weapons grade dickhead. HTH.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 21/02/2018 21:00

YANBU he's a dick for thinking that he gets to switch off while you're still 'on'. Working and having children is always hard on both parents; unless he contributes at home as well as at work he's being a dick.

ApocalypseNowt · 21/02/2018 21:00

Ooops! I think it needed saying more than once to be fair....

WineAndTiramisu · 21/02/2018 21:01

He's being a dick.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 21/02/2018 21:02

I'll just add. I work a measly and pathetic 16 hours a week to fit round the kids and he works a heroic 50 hour week. Just so I can say to him I have been fair and represented our situation fully.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 21/02/2018 21:03

He's being a dickhead. To be fair though, watching foot ball does that to some blokes.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 21/02/2018 21:05

It definately does. He becomes a horrible person when he watches football.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 21/02/2018 21:06

He's a dickhead.

SundaySalon · 21/02/2018 21:06

I work similar hours to fit around DC, I also do school runs, pickups, dinner and homework. DH does bath and bed and we eat and clean together. Fuck that OP, is he always like this?

BiddyPop · 21/02/2018 21:06

He's still being a douche. DH works more than me and still does lots for DD, including dropping and collecting the evening club.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 21/02/2018 21:07

DH works long hours and is never a whiney twat when he comes home and has to collect the DCs from clubs or make supper. He also shoves on washing loads if he sees the baskets are full and makes sure the DCs lunches are prepped if he's here. It's not heroic to contribute to the raising and welfare of your own DC; it's mandatory.

Even with the update he's BU.

BackInTheRoom · 21/02/2018 21:08

Can't he pause or record the football?

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 21/02/2018 21:08

He does drop them off at school on his days off and he does do washing and cleaning, helps with kids when he's here. But he makes sure I know about it. He seems to think I sit on my arse all day because I don't list every job I have done.

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 21/02/2018 21:08

When you say work do you mean paid work? I bet you actually work more hours.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 21/02/2018 21:10

And yes he can pause and record the football 😑 but to him that is unacceptable as he will be 10 minutes behind because he had to collect his child. I'm a terrible wide and mother.

OP posts:
Idontbelieveinthemoon · 21/02/2018 21:10

Also, I'm a teacher so am on half term all week. DH left at 6am, spent the day in London, arrived home at 8.17, made me a cup of tea, washed the pots in the sink and is now sat cutting out and laminating stuff for me for next term and helping DS2 with sats revision homework. That's 'normal' husbanding.

Greggers2017 · 21/02/2018 21:10

Is it a game where the team he supports are playing?
If not he's being a selfish prat but if it is I'm sure you could manage to just go get her if it's only ten minutes. Save the argument.
It is exhausting both working and juggling children. Me and my other half had a little argument at the weekend over something similar but on that thread I was deemed to be in the wrong.

gingergenius · 21/02/2018 21:13

But greggers, she already dropped her dd off. It's his turn now. He can pause the fecking foitie for 10 minutes. God knows how many interrupted programmes I've had over the years. He needs to suck it up buttercup!

LeighaJ · 21/02/2018 21:15

Can't he just pause the match or is it not an option? Hmm I'm currently sitting in front of a paused match since my husband went to football practice.

Quartz2208 · 21/02/2018 21:17

Yep he is a selfish arse

Did he get her though

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 21/02/2018 21:20

He did pick her up. After royally spitting his dummy out.

OP posts:
snowone · 21/02/2018 21:20

What a knobhead!! All sounds very familiar to me apart from the picking up the DC bit, my DH is currently sat watching the brits on TV and football on his phone!! I sympathise with you Flowers

Thebluedog · 21/02/2018 21:22

He’s a grade A dickhead.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/02/2018 21:23

It is known as 'wifework' have you not come across this type of attitude or behaviour before now?

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