Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider going to church?

30 replies

Seriouslyscrewed · 21/02/2018 12:34

Okay please bear with me...

So for a while now I've been looking for clubs things in my area I can go to to make freinds and find new interests...i live in smallish city so you'd think there would be something out there...turns out no there isn't! I can't find anything at all and I'm really getting desperate!

Now I have a church by me that I walk past often, I seems they always seem to have things going on in there and it feels very warm and inviting.

I am not religious at all.. in any way...literally never felt anything for religion.

Would I be turned away? Is it wrong of me to want to go in and get involved when the religion itself doesn't interest Me?

OP posts:
Zintox · 21/02/2018 12:37

Everyone is welcome in church regardless of level of faith. Go. They will be glad to see you.

APontypandyPioneer · 21/02/2018 12:38

YANBU. All sorts of things go on in churches/church halls. You don't have to be a fully paid up member of the God squad to go in! Give it a go, if it's too full on, preachy and not for you make your excuses and leave. At least you tried.

TheIrregularChoice · 21/02/2018 12:38

YANBU.
Churches are rarely just a place of worship for an hour on Sunday morning, they can and should be so much more.

PaperdollCartoon · 21/02/2018 12:38

Go in, the community of church draws me back time and time again (I believe in God but am not Christian, or anything specific for that matter, long conversation not for now)

But you will need to be open to hearing about God and what they believe, you never know what you might learn.

Dipitydoda · 21/02/2018 12:39

a lot of people go to church for the Company etc - go along - you dont have to committ to lifelong membership

HotCrossBunFight · 21/02/2018 12:40

I'm sure you'll be made very welcome

JoeyMaynardssolidlump · 21/02/2018 12:40

Good grief of course you would be welcome. Go in. Not all church goers are religious and believe in god. Lots go for friendship and company and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Mummyontherun86 · 21/02/2018 12:41

I go to church. You definitely wouldn’t be turned away and hopefully would be welcomed and meet some new friends. Churches want to be a community support.
They will probably invite you to come along to services and may even tell you how God helps them personally. If that’s sounds okay by you, then go along!
Almost no churches will try to force you into anything you’re not comfortable with (there’s always the odd black sheep but 99.9%).

CantChoose · 21/02/2018 12:41

I have mixed feelings about whether I believe in God or not but love the sense of community you get in a church and also find services very calming, possibly just the familiarity of it though!
Every church I've been to has been very welcoming. I know they're not all the same but it's worth giving it a go!

TheQueef · 21/02/2018 12:41

As they say He works in mysterious ways.
Course you will be welcome, maybe it's divine intervention Grin

Clandestino · 21/02/2018 12:42

Everybody is welcome in a Church, we go to ours for funeral masses (sadly) and Christmas Carols, even though we are atheists but I would never go there to socialise. I'd feel a hypocrite because I don't share their faith and their reason to go to Church.

bakingdemon · 21/02/2018 12:45

You should go! My church welcomes everyone who walks through the door! We have mums and kids groups, seniors citizens groups, home group evenings for every demographic you can imagine, we hold concerts, we go on day trips. And if you think you might be interested in volunteering, churches are lovely ways to get involved - mine has a food bank, a credit union and a night shelter all staffed by congregation members. And if their flavour of worship isn't the right thing for you (eg I am v much on the traditional Anglican side, not at all evangelical worship songs style), there will be other churches that will be your thing.

maddiemookins16mum · 21/02/2018 12:49

I go too. I have a whole 'family' of friends, old and young I met there.
I have a faith too, but my biggest benefit is the friendship (and both moral and practical support over the years) I get there.
There are a lot of worse places about.

TheQueef · 21/02/2018 12:50

I was just about to say that Baking I'm a lapsed RC but still do volunteer stuff and it's always appreciated.
The dementia cafe at our RC is run by three Muslim women.

The companionship church offers is much greater than the faith.

Plus it's never a bad idea to practice kindness.

FlouncyDoves · 21/02/2018 12:50

I wouldn’t do it. Whatever they offer it will be served with a dollop of Christianity on the side.

misshannah · 21/02/2018 12:50

Could you not start a club of some sort?

Original poster
Seriouslyscrewed · 21/02/2018 12:58

I've just googled said church and they do have plenty of events including a baby and toddler thing on Mondays morning which I might take dd too and that might open up a dialogue Grin we will see

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 21/02/2018 13:00

I really believe there is a gap in society for this sense of caring and community without the religious side. Since that doesn’t seem to exist in most places go along and see. Some churches are way more overtly ‘churxhy’ than others.

handslikecowstits · 21/02/2018 13:03

You should go and see what it's like. Some church organisations will be preachy and will try to encourage church attendance but not all will. There's no way of telling really from the outside. You just have to suck it and see.

user1479491730 · 21/02/2018 13:08

No harm in trying it, if you don’t like it, don’t go back! I go to a stay and play based in a church and nothing religious is ever mentioned, everyone welcome etc.

videoInstructions · 21/02/2018 13:11

Don't go. Religion's awful and they prey on the weak.

Where are you? There's always something. Leisure centre? Evening classes?

StayAChild · 21/02/2018 13:11

I live close to a smallish village church. I must say it is the busiest building in the village. I was very surprised to see just how busy - the cars often park close to me so I know how much they have going on. I don't go myself, but I think it would be a great place to start to make friends. You could make your position clear on joining (if asked) and not get roped into anything you don't want to do. If they aren't ok with that then you don't need to go again.

They have mother and baby groups, youth groups, cake mornings (I see them walking past with the tupperwares) history and book clubs, and I'm sure a host of other seasonal things going on. Have a look online to see if they have any interesting events. You never know what it might lead to away from the church.

When we moved here I went to a book club at the library, but it wasn't for me so I didn't go again. It's worth a try OP.

maddiemookins16mum · 21/02/2018 13:14

80% of the mums at our church toddler group are not church members. That said, a fair few will come along to our monthly family pot luck Friday night supper/family movie night, our Christmas/Easter and Mothers Day service, two help at our food bank and another suggested a 'Friday Fit Club in our church hall which she now runs at 11pm every Friday (with a creche provided). It really is a good way to mingle with new people.

BackforGood · 21/02/2018 13:21

Of course YANBU. Literally hundreds of people use our Church buildings during the week that we never see at a service. From toddler group to Dementia Cafe. From Language cafe to Afternoon Fellowship. From keep fitters to a creative writing group. From Beavers / Cubs / Scouts to a massive dance school. then there are all the occasional users such as polling station, blood donors, job fairs, one off meetings, birthday party hirers, music exams, and so forth.
Some are groups that have been started by / are run by the Church, and others are people who have no link with the Church at all, other than a room hire agreement.
You'd still be welcome at both.

TheQueef · 21/02/2018 14:14

My favourite event at ours if dance in the dark 80's with glowsticks in the Vestry.

I haven't attended but apparently it's a good night.

In some places ours attendance is so low it's about making best use of facilities and not driving the Christian agenda.