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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re riends singing DD

45 replies

FluffyPineapple · 19/02/2018 01:17

My best friend has a 15 year old DD who sings. She s a decent singer - as young singers go. Her DM lets me know whenever her DD has a singing event and expects me to show up to support her. I have supported her in the past but lately I feel
a. I don't really want to support friends DD at every event she is involved with (because there are too many)
b. Friend and her dp have never actively supported any of my dc's following their achievements, even when they have gained high college qualifications.

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 19/02/2018 04:09

Can’t think of anything worse.

Say no and give yourself a clap.

TenThousandSpoons · 19/02/2018 04:16

Invite best friend to your son’s next debating competition or your daughter’s drama monologue reading. She should get the message.

Nakedavenger74 · 19/02/2018 04:52

I thought this was about your friends singeing your DD. thankfully it's not.

Anyway YANBU. Who wants to to see some singing kid more than once?!

KC225 · 19/02/2018 05:12

She probably thinks you really enjoy it. How many have you been to? I think it's perfectly acceptable to say, 'wow, she is doing so well getting another gig and remain non committal about going. If your friend pushes it. Smile and say hut I have been to x amount already, how many tcoets do you need to our kid's flower show?

KC225 · 19/02/2018 05:13

Oops, early morning fat fingers - sorry for above mistakes

CobraKai · 19/02/2018 05:35

Mums who expect you to fawn all over their (usually) averagely talented children are so lacking in self-awareness!

bimbobaggins · 19/02/2018 06:07

Just say no or you are busy. You aren’t doing yourself any favourite by continuing to go because you are giving the impression you enjoy it and that’s why they keep asking

billybagpuss · 19/02/2018 06:13

I’m guessing on,y child. I have met a lot of mums like this. You need to have a lot of prior commitments it’s the.only thing that will work.

troodiedoo · 19/02/2018 06:19

Sorry I can't make it, hope it goes well. Repeat ad infinitum.

Don't give a reason. Just say no.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/02/2018 06:38

billybagpuss
There are plenty of parents with only children, who don’t expect this as well, you know. But my sil is like this with her pfb to the detriment of my dd. One of the reasons for being nc.

Slartybartfast · 19/02/2018 06:38

does your friend have anyone else to go with?

CaraBosse1 · 19/02/2018 06:46

I’m guessing only child. I have met a lot of mums like this

Don't be daft - it's nothing to do with her being an only child Hmm

NancyDonahue · 19/02/2018 06:54

I get fed up attending my own kids events, let alone someone else's.

In true Zammo style... Just Say No.

billybagpuss · 19/02/2018 07:09

Don't get me wrong guys there are plenty of 'normal' only children out there with lovely normal parents but I spend a lot of time around music things like this and in my experience the precious 'why hasn't my daughter got a solo' parents are usually those of only children. Again I'm sure there are exceptions just in 25 years of doing this I haven't met any.

Rudi44 · 19/02/2018 07:10

My 'only child' competes in her sport at a fairly high level. I most certainly wouldn't expect friends or family to come and watch. In fact sometimes me and her Dad share the attendance so we don't both have to go!

The idea of having to sit through someone else daughter singing is awful. Time off is too precious

SundaysFunday · 19/02/2018 07:12

Omg no, if you've seen her sing once or twice that's enough. How self involved if them to expect you to do this frequently.

Situp · 19/02/2018 07:19

I am so glad my DCs have shown neither interest or talent in performing arts. The idea of having to watch my own kids constantly perform makes me feel tired, let alone someone else's!

YANBU

CaraBosse1 · 19/02/2018 07:22

Billybagpus - I don't believe you Grin

MaisyPops · 19/02/2018 07:26

billy
I know exactly the type you mean. Grin
But I also know lots of very normal only child musicians too with nornal parents

billybagpuss · 19/02/2018 07:28

Cara - and thats why I love MN Grin maybe I should run away and hide before everyone else wakes up :)

billybagpuss · 19/02/2018 07:29

and Maisy - me too, the majority are lovely its just every once in a while you get the 'everybody stop and look at my child' parent.

SofiaAmes · 19/02/2018 07:38

I think YABU. I can't believe how miserable everyone is....it's one of the things I hated about living in England. Do you all really hate seeing your own child excel at their activities. That is just so sad. I love that my dd loves to perform and I love to see her enjoying herself and happy.
If this is truly your best friend, then you should go to see her dd because it's important to her. It's hard to tell from your post, but have you invited her to your dc's activities and she hasn't come? My dd is 15 and is a singer and an actress and my best friends love to see her perform. They don't all come to all her shows, but most come to most. And by the same token, I go to see my best friends' dc's when they have activities, performing arts, academic or just plain old birthday parties. That's what friends do. In fact, I even have some friends who are artists and performers themselves and I go to support them in their own endeavors.

Headofthehive55 · 19/02/2018 07:53

You have supported her but now is the time to be busy. We have performers in the family and it's iften just about getting tickets sold. If you don't enjoy it why go?

Jammycustard · 19/02/2018 08:05

Hell no, sounds v dull.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 19/02/2018 08:12

SofiaAmes the OP isn't talking about her own child, she's expected to go along to every performance given by someone elses.

OP YANBU. I might go along once, but not regularly, well, not unless your friend's daughter has replaced Eddie Vedder. And that if that makes me miserable and English [shrug].