To ask if you'd mind babysitter having a beer?

[swanmills]

No kids myself but I went out with a friend last night. She has one 3 year old. I went to pick her up and waited in the house as she was finishing getting ready. When leaving she told the babysitter she was welcome to any food in the house and that there were beers in the fridge if she wanted one.

The babysitter (who was a 26 year old experienced nanny) was really shocked and asked jokingly if it was a "trick". She said she'd never been offered alcohol ever before when Babysitting and my friend said one or two beers was hardly an issue since a lot of parents would drink that or more of an evening and she was very relaxed about it. Especially since the babysitter had been recommend by a couple of friends so she knew she was responsible and wouldn't drink her house dry !

Anyway it got me thinking- as a non Mum I'm not sure how I'd be. If she bought alcohol herself I'd be a bit but I'm sure I'd be fine with a babysitter having a can of beer or glass of wine if I offered.

Thoughts ?

No but I had a babysitter for valentines this week for my 12 week old and 2 year old and wouldn't be happy with her consuming alcohol which would put her over the legal driving limit
Should she need to call for medical assistance or anything.

Wouldn't bother me.

One beer? Dont you drink at home?

No o wouldn’t be happy about it.

I have no idea Re her tolerance for alcohol. Some people’s judgment is affected after one drink.

So as I don’t know my sitters tolerance for alcohol, it wouldn’t occur to me to offer something that could affect her ability to look after my children.

If be happy with a beer or glass of wine, as long as they could still drive etc

Meh, if I knew her I'd have no issue with it as long as she didn't go overboard. If she was a stranger though I'd prefer it if she didn't.

Me and my dh used to babysit for couples we knew regularly when we were child free. A bottle of wine was regularly left for us to drink whilst sitting, in place of actual payment (would never charge friends!). As pp have said, most parents are not teetotal and still manage to care for the kids! I wouldn't expect a professional babysitter to drink though, but I think that's because you wouldn't expect any person to drink whilst working.

I babysat for my friend recently and she left me a bottle of red on the bench before she went. They are older children though and I only had one glass (until she came in and we drank the rest)

Whenever my mate comes to babysit for me I hand her a bottle of wine, (I don’t drink, so just for her) takeaway menu or whatever she’s asked for, say thanks so much and head off. My oh gives her a lift home.
I trust her, she’s an adult and her kids are grown up so she knows her limit. I’m not bothered.
However, if it were someone I was paying I’d probably expect standards to be a bit more... professional? So wouldn’t offer more than snacks etc

Guess if I was paying and it was someone's job then I would not expect it.

But if it was a friend doing it for free as a favour I would have no issue with it.

I have no real idea why I feel differently about it as it does not affect the child - but i do.

In a paid capacity, prob not.

But if I'm babysitting my nieces/nephews I might have a glass of wine.

Interesting responses.

I babysat a lot myself while at university. A couple of families became very regular over the 4 years I was studying and it became the regular thing that if I babysat on a Friday or Saturday it'd be a takeaway and a couple of beers (which they knew about of course! One family even stoked my favourite beer just for me) haha. I'd never have more than two cans and this would usually be over about 6-7 hours.

I suppose I was surprised that the babysitter was so surprised. Like I say having no children myself I'm not sure exactly how I'd be but I imagine if it was someone I knew or had been recommend I'd be fine wit it although I do agree if it was a stranger perhaps not. Although from my own babysitter experience I never sat for anyone as a total stranger- would always meet with the family beforehand.

I don’t see the problem. Plenty of parents would have a drink at home with the children.

I’m a nanny who regularly babysit’s for my regular families who I know personally, sometimes I do get offered alcohol. I personally think it’s a bit strange and never accept their offer. My owe child at home then I wouldn’t think twice about having a glass of wine (I’m not a parent) but think even though babysitting is easier usually children are asleep and I don’t have to do much. Still would never touch any alcohol when I’m babysitting.

One beer or glass of wine is acceptable possibly when looking after older children not babies or toddlers. No more than that though as the sitter could potentially fall asleep m/ intoxicating and not be there for a child crying/ill

A friend or family member sitting in my house whilst DC are asleep? 2 beers or half a bottle of wine no issue whatsoever.

Someone I’m paying £10 an hour to and DC are awake- no that’s not on.

I wouldn’t have a problem with a babysitter drinking one beer/glass of wine, as long as they could still drive.

It would be a bit weird though, if it was a paid babysitter rather than friend. You wouldn’t drink in the office (well, only occasionally 😉)

I wouldn't have a problem with one or two.

I wouldn't have a problem with a single beer.

Can't see what the issue is tbh.

Wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if they had a couple of beers or glasses of wine

Assuming vaguely normal strength:

A single 33cl bottle of beer - fine.

A pint - just about ok.

More than that - not really ok.

MN is populated with the sort of parent who NEVER EVER drinks when they have the kids.

And thinks someone must be 100% sober and able to drive AT ALL TIMES.

I wouldn't have a problem with it.....but then I'm sitting here with a g'ass of wine while DS plays PS4....

I wouldn’t mind if my friend (who lives a 60 second walk from me) having a few drinks. But mine are 6 and 7 and once asleep, unlikely to be awake again until morning.
But, if I had hired a babysitter then I wouldn’t want them to have a drink!

We have two GDs and whenever we babysit, DS and partner always leave us beer and wine. DH will have just the one beer and I'll have a glass of wine. We are trusted. And we'll order a Chinese or go for fish and chips!