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Original poster

To ask if you'd mind babysitter having a beer?

73 replies

swanmills · 16/02/2018 17:26

No kids myself but I went out with a friend last night. She has one 3 year old. I went to pick her up and waited in the house as she was finishing getting ready. When leaving she told the babysitter she was welcome to any food in the house and that there were beers in the fridge if she wanted one.

The babysitter (who was a 26 year old experienced nanny) was really shocked and asked jokingly if it was a "trick". She said she'd never been offered alcohol ever before when Babysitting and my friend said one or two beers was hardly an issue since a lot of parents would drink that or more of an evening and she was very relaxed about it. Especially since the babysitter had been recommend by a couple of friends so she knew she was responsible and wouldn't drink her house dry !

Anyway it got me thinking- as a non Mum I'm not sure how I'd be. If she bought alcohol herself I'd be a bit Hmm but I'm sure I'd be fine with a babysitter having a can of beer or glass of wine if I offered.

Thoughts ?

OP posts:
mumspice · 16/02/2018 18:06

It's a job. Who drinks on the job?

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 16/02/2018 18:06

And the driving arguement cracks me up.

I don't drive.....does that mean I shouldnt have sole care of DS cos I can't drive him anywhere in an emergencey??

So long as the person isn't the ultimate light weight a couple of drinks is just fine.

BothersomeCrow · 16/02/2018 18:08

My babysitters usually can't drive anyway, so the question is whether they are sober enough to deal with any potential emergency and call a cab. That said, I wouldn't expect a sitter to have more than one drink just in case they weren't used to it or something.

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 16/02/2018 18:08

And I don't get the distinction between friend and paid sitter tbh.

It's Friday night, they are sitting in a lounge, with bugger all to do once the kids are in bed, I wouldn't begrudge someone a glass of wine, even if I had paid them.

Mummyontherun86 · 16/02/2018 18:09

No issue. I’d not want a babysitter to be drunk but I often have non drivers babysitting so being over the drink drive limit is a non issue for me. In an emergency they can still call me/an ambulance/a taxi etc as long as they are ‘with it’.

Valentinesfart · 16/02/2018 18:10

I think it seems a bit try hard of your friend.

Parents drink because they'd never get the opportunity if they weren't with the kids and they know the children well enough to be secure. Babysitter isn't the same. ALSO it's a job, you don't drink at work.

If one of my parent friends was looking after my kids for free and already knew them well I'd mention wine or beer but that's it.

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 16/02/2018 18:16

Nah stil don't get the issue.

And as for the "It's a job" brigade.......

I presume you say the same about rich city men taking clients out for boozy lunches????
Or anyone else who has meetings over lunch with wine??

After all it's not strictly needed is it?

Could always have water?

And don't give the kids thing......you are all making the point that it's "paid" not that it's kids...

JessieMcJessie · 19/02/2018 15:17

Boozy city lunches are few and far between these days Lana. Quite a lot of our clients work for organisations which ban lunchtime drinking and make it a sacking offence. In the age of #metoo and general awareness that drinking is not universally enjoyed, it will decline even further. And the hosts of boozy events are not trying to do their actual jobs (preparing documents, negotiating deals, analysing markets, managing staff) while drunk, they are only doing the sales bit while under the influence. So not directly comparable to doing hands-on childcare.

That said I agree with most of the posts above, a beer or glass of wine (and no more) if it’s a friend helping out but I would prefer a paid sitter not to drink.

OutyMcOutface · 19/02/2018 15:21

Absolutely not. I don't drink when the children are in my charge either. And I would never drink while working any job. Alcohol dulls the senses even if you haven't had enough to be drunk. Ordinarily it isn't an issue but in the event of an emergency it is definitely a problem. And of course emergencies happen quite often with children. I most certainly wouldn't want to be in a situation where I couldn't drive my child to hospital if need be for example.

LaurieMarlow · 19/02/2018 15:23

Boozy city lunches are few and far between these days Lana. Quite a lot of our clients work for organisations which ban lunchtime drinking and make it a sacking offence.

Depends where you work. Certainly not in my industry, entertaining clients with food and drink still a big part of the job.

As for the babysitting, 1 drink not a problem, no.

Italianherbgarden · 19/02/2018 15:25

i can't see the problem - ime, the people you can't trust have more comprehensive worries than whether they'll touch the odd glass of wine or not whilst babysitting. Surely it's about establishing trust and reliability - someone drinking upfront on the first babysitting gig, maybe not.

Trinity66 · 19/02/2018 15:26

Wouldn't bother me

gimmesomeapachepizza · 19/02/2018 15:27

Friend or relative babysitting, no problem. Paid babysitter, I wouldn't like it.

Hithere1981 · 19/02/2018 15:28

A friend Babysitting for me that I have socialised with? I would have no problem at all with her having a glass of wine whilst babysitting. As long as I have socialised with we over alcohol and see how she handle a glass of wine eg some people can get giggly and silly after just a glass. Others no difference at all.

A paid babysitter? No way. I have no idea of her tolerance for alcohol therefore I wouldn’t risk it.

kaytee87 · 19/02/2018 15:29

I wouldn't expect someone I was paying to do a job to consume alcohol, no. I'd make sure I paid a decent rate though rather than 'pocket money'.
Tbh I've only ever had to use a baby sitter once for my 30th birthday as all family members were at it. I used a member of staff from nursery and paid her the requested £10ph.

BeHappyMummy · 19/02/2018 15:29

I simply wouldn't allow it.

The babysitter can drink alcohol in their own time, not when caring for my child.

Hillarious · 19/02/2018 15:33

Absolutely not. I don't drink when the children are in my charge either.

OutyMcOutface - when are you not in charge of your children? Does this mean alcohol is a rarity for you?

As my children have got older, I've been reluctant to have a drink at home on an evening when they're out and might have needed someone to go out in the car to fetch them (perhaps if they have a puncture on their bike and can't cycle home)

correctpiece · 19/02/2018 15:33

No. I know a 20 year old who babysits who regularly admits on her FB page that she can't stop at one drink. No way.

stevie69 · 19/02/2018 15:42

Well I do a lot of babysitting for my friends. I do it quite willingly, sometimes at short notice, sometimes at the expense of my own social engagements and, of course, I don't charge.

However, if it were suggested that I wasn't free to have a glass of wine while I was there, then I would be doing it no more. If my friends want to dictate down to that level of detail, then they are quite free to pay for a professional sitter.

All a bit hypothetical, as I'm teetotal. I do smoke very occasionally though and wouldn't be prepared to babysit if I were not free to do so (outside, of course).

Just my take on it Blush

justforthisthread101 · 19/02/2018 15:47

I wouldn't offer alcohol to a babysitter.

I drink very little since having children and if I'm on my own with them, not at all. I wouldn't like a babysitter doing it either.

I once had had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, and then I needed to take DD1 to our local OOH. By cab, with her carseat. It nearly sent me teetotal. Now, if they're not well, I don't drink a drop, regardless of whether DH is there or not.

Thehop · 19/02/2018 15:49

I wouldn’t like it. Nobody should drink at work when you’re responsible for children.

shakesbeer · 19/02/2018 15:53

I'm torn in this one. A friend Babysitting absolutely but paid I'm on the fence.

My first thought was I don't see any problem with a can of beer or glass of wine. If they brought it themselves I might be a bit Hmm but if it were a Friday or Saturday night I'd possibly offer it (note I don't have children so this is all hypothetical)

Some pps make a point about not knowing their alcohol tolerance. Chances are one can of beer won't have any affect but you can never be completely sure. Having said that, if in the case I'd OP the babysitter worked as a nanny and had come recommended I'd like to assume she was responsible and honest and someone who would say no if they knew their tolerance was low.

It's a tricky one. I suppose if it was a babysitter I used regularly and had come to know well I'd be fine with it. First time babysitter perhaps not.

Saracen · 19/02/2018 15:55

One beer would be okay with me, but only if I had offered or she had asked beforehand. No more than one.

Zero if there was any remote chance at all that she might have to drive.

stevie69 · 19/02/2018 15:55

It's a job. Who drinks on the job?

It's a fu**ing favour in many cases Angry

BestZebbie · 19/02/2018 15:58

I wouldn't expect anyone to drink at work, so I wouldn't expect anyone to drink in a paid babysitting job.

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