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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report sibling missing abroad

67 replies

Sillyjelly · 15/02/2018 22:27

DSis is travelling since November, last known in Laos. last on WhatsApp at 2:00 (GMT) on 24/02/18. Last few messages showing as unread. This is out of character. I have also sent messages via Facebook and email expressing my concern in case phone is lost, as she also has a tablet.

I have an anxiety disorder and both our parents have died so I'm hyper anxious about her safety. I convinced myself I was paranoid until her best friend asked in a group chat if anybody had heard from her.

If somebody is abroad how long should you wait to report missing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillyjelly · 15/02/2018 22:30

sorry that should be last on WhatsApp at 2:00 14/02/18

OP posts:
brownelephant · 15/02/2018 22:31

yanbu
I'm not sure who best to contact. the british consulate of the last known country? do you know who she's travelling with? contact with her friends?

I hop she turns up soon and well

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 15/02/2018 22:31

I'm guessing you mean 14 Feb so day before yesterday? Could she not just be on a trip somewhere remote with no Internet signal? Laos has some pretty remote parts. What was she due to be doing these couple of days?

Scarydinosaurs · 15/02/2018 22:31

Is she travelling alone? Do you know her plans of where she was intending to go next?

ghostyslovesheets · 15/02/2018 22:31

so less than 24 hours ago?

Domino20 · 15/02/2018 22:32

I don't imagine that WiFi is plentiful out there. It was only yesterday, she could be doing a wilderness trip or something. Much too early to panic!

UpstartCrow · 15/02/2018 22:33

Your local police and The Foreign Office should be able to offer you advice and help, there is no set time you have to wait so don't be fobbed off.
Talk to the local police first. I hope you get good news. Flowers

www.gov.uk/government/publications/missing-persons

www.gov.uk/report-missing-person

BastardGoDarkly · 15/02/2018 22:33

14th was yesterday?

Crispbutty · 15/02/2018 22:33

If she was active on whatsapp yesterday then I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

OutyMcOutface · 15/02/2018 22:33

What is she doing there? Does she havdlocal contacts? Is she part of a group? Is she going anywhere remote? I wouldn't really be worried at this point-she may have simply decided to take a tech detox or may not have signal/forgotten to pay her phone bill.

MsJaneAusten · 15/02/2018 22:34

I don’t think you should panic just yet, but send a message to her Facebook / WhatsApp etc telling her you’re worried and asking her to get in touch. I hope she turns up soon.

MrsJoshDun · 15/02/2018 22:35

When I was in Thailand phone signal was a nightmare at times. I really would not worry for a few more days.

Original poster
Sillyjelly · 15/02/2018 22:35

she is travelling alone but recently met up with a group of other travellers (all solo). I don't know any of them.

She probably is simply out of reception but I have distressing ideas of where she is. I don't want to panic, but equally I don't want to ignore my instincts. If like to know from rational and objective people what is a realistic timeframe.

It is over 24 hours since last contact. This happened once before but she warned us in advance of low signal and indicated the date she would be back in contact

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 15/02/2018 22:37

She could have lost her charger. It's a bit soon to panic.

Original poster
Sillyjelly · 15/02/2018 22:38

She wouldn't take leave of technology purposefully as she is using it as a travel diary and also knows we would worry. She is a frequent texter by nature.

OP posts:
Willthisdoo · 15/02/2018 22:39

Do you know whereabouts in Laos she is exactly? Parts of it are still very undeveloped by our standards and so there is a high chance she just may have limited internet/WiFi access. If it’s any consolation, I’ve travelled extensively in Laos solo and on numerous occasions and I have never felt safer anywhere else in the world. It could also be as simple as she did a day trip/excursion and was too tired to check in online afterwards.

Original poster
Sillyjelly · 15/02/2018 22:40

Im glad the consensus is it is too soon to panic. Her tablet and phone use the same charger so loss of this could explain it, I stupidly overlooked that.

Thank you.

I have messaged her on all mediums so she will know I'm concerned and will contact me when she gets them.

OP posts:
MakeLemonade · 15/02/2018 22:41

I have a travelling sister too and would not be worrying yet, she’s lost her phone/had it stolen/left a charger in a hostel on more than one occasion. I’d probably give it another couple of days but if you’re used to hearing from her more often I can see why you’re worried. How long has she been away?

Redglitter · 15/02/2018 22:41

Realistically under these circumstances it's very unlikely the authorities would class her as missing. It's only been 24 hours. She wouldn't deliberately be out of contact but she could have easily found herself out of mobile range.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 15/02/2018 22:41

Possibly her phone could be out of battery/broken.

PinkAvocado · 15/02/2018 22:42

When I’ve been abroad to places slightly off the tourist trail l, I wouldn’t always be able to message for the following reasons:
-power cuts
-no WiFi
-on trips and forgetting!
-battery run down
-needing to save battery due to power cuts and not therefore using anything non essential
-even if WiFi is available, it not being strong enough to support all apps

Does she usually message daily or more than once a day?

Original poster
Sillyjelly · 15/02/2018 22:42

I do feel a bit silly to worry. I find it hard to know what is rational sometimes. Thank you all.

OP posts:
PinkAvocado · 15/02/2018 22:42

Oh and no signal!

meditrina · 15/02/2018 22:43

It's 05:39 there.

Hard for you, but I think you need to give it a few more hours at least, because for the last 7 hours or so it's most likely she's been sleeping.

Did she say anything in her most recent messages about plans for the coming days?

MyOtherProfile · 15/02/2018 22:44

How often do you usually hear from her?

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