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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to cut his damn pastry?

48 replies

PeppaPorkroast · 08/02/2018 13:38

I was babysitting a friend's DS (8 and a half) and we had some apple pastry as a snack. However, his majesty commanded me (he didn't even ask nicely) to cut it into smaller pieces for him as we only had forks. I told him to put his tablet away for five seconds in order to focus and work with both hands. One half-a*sed try later he exclaimed he couldn't do it and I had to because I am an adult so I am stronger. Are children that age really that weak or was he just plain lazy? I don't have DC of my own yet so I have no idea but I have the feeling kids should be slightly more independent at his age. AIBU?

OP posts:
Snowydaysarehere · 08/02/2018 13:39

I hope you bloody didn't!!

StylishMummy · 08/02/2018 13:40

YANBU, lazy little sod!

sexnotgender · 08/02/2018 13:40

YANBU

Notevilstepmother · 08/02/2018 13:41

Lazy or learnedly helplessness from not be used to or allowed to do things for himself. You might need to look at how he is using and holding the knife and help him with technique. A lot of kids will try to use brute force and chop things in one go, they need to learn to saw.

Hillarious · 08/02/2018 13:41

I once had a friend's son ask me to peel his grapes.

Notevilstepmother · 08/02/2018 13:42

being

SweetMoon · 08/02/2018 13:42

He was being lazy. His mother probably cuts his food up for him I expect so he isn't used to doing it. My 4 1/2 year old can cut up most things so pretty sure most 8 year olds could if they try! Not your kid though so not much you can do. If he is there with you regularly I'd just let him get on with it. If he still can't be bothered to cut it up, he can always leave it!

Notevilstepmother · 08/02/2018 13:42

He might just be trying it on with a new person.

cornflakegirl · 08/02/2018 13:43

You can't make a child independent in one babysitting session... But the rudeness wasn't acceptable, and I too would have encouraged him to have a more wholehearted attempt.

Nanasueathome · 08/02/2018 13:44

My daughter’s partner’s 15 year old asked for him to cut her sausage for her the other day as it was too difficult for her
He actually did
He is the original Disney Dad though

Original poster
PeppaPorkroast · 08/02/2018 13:44

No I didn't. That kid really put me off having DC. I think my friend is spoiling him too much, he expected me to cater his every whim. Some grapes here, some Ribena there and he was deeply offended when I asked him if he knew where the kitchen was...

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 08/02/2018 13:44

We have a friend's 7yo over regularly for playdates - I have a 7yo and 6yo of my own, and due to my neglectful nature they have learned to do most things themselves. It was a big bloody shock to friend's 7yo when I told him to do things himself rather than expecting me to do them for him! He's improving though, as DH and I are united on this Grin

Mishappening · 08/02/2018 13:46

He should be able to do this himself - or pick it up and nibble at it.

Next time perhaps you could make a joke of it - "Oh no, John has lost his arms and cannot eat his cake! Quick, let's search for them - are the under the chair etc. etc?"

Original poster
PeppaPorkroast · 08/02/2018 13:47

I helped him of course but he tried to boss me around like a slave. When I told my friend about it she just laughed and brushed it off saying "Well he just knows what he wants"

OP posts:
Woollypinksocks · 08/02/2018 13:47

I think you're being ridiculous saying that he's put you off having kids. Seen an over the top reaction.

You don't have to chop his food up for him but you might have helped him with a better technique, or told him to speak to you nicely.

ShutYoFace · 08/02/2018 13:48

That kid really put me off having DC

Good thing.

Original poster
PeppaPorkroast · 08/02/2018 13:48

@mishappening

good idea, will be back there tomorrow night and try it

OP posts:
Woollypinksocks · 08/02/2018 13:50

You don't sound as though you like your friend and her son very much.

I wouldn't bother babysitting again if I were you.

Original poster
PeppaPorkroast · 08/02/2018 13:50

You know exaggeration as a stylistic device, right ;)

Of course I showed him how to cut his pastry, I won't let a kid starve just because he can't cut his pastry

OP posts:
6cats3gingerkittens · 08/02/2018 13:52

Shut yo face, yes do that. That was a nasty thing to write.

NoParticularPattern · 08/02/2018 13:52

I take your 8 year old and raise you another 8 year old who would quite literally starve if you didn’t physically feed her. She genuinely would sit there with her hands in her lap and make zero effort to pick any cutlery up never mind actually put food in her mouth. This is after a long protracted discussion about what she actually wanted to eat. It wasn’t even a case of her refusing to eat, she just genuinely expected someone to feed her because that’s what her mum had always done!! I was aghast the first time I saw what was going on!!

YADNBU for not cutting his pastry up for him. Especially not after he just demanded like you were his slave. I used to get demands like that a lot- I think it caused some sort of selective deafness when I realised what the problem was and that I wasn’t going to baby an 8 year old!!!

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 08/02/2018 13:53

I was surprised by my friends 5yo when he didn't know how to blow on his dinner to cool it. My 2yo has been doing it for ages! His 7yo sister just said 'oh dad does it for him'

Original poster
PeppaPorkroast · 08/02/2018 13:53

I like my friend but at the moment she can be a bit... tricky. Had DS quite early and is now seeing someone new. I am her last resort babysitter but at the moment I am there at least once or twice a week. I really want to support her but she doesn't even thank me and her son can be quite rude at times

OP posts:
Snowydaysarehere · 08/02/2018 13:54

Maybe write an instruction list for a joke?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/02/2018 13:56

Cutting up apple pastries and eating them with a fork all sounds very formal!
If it's a one off baby sitting thing you're doing, I really wouldn't worry about trying to educate him on manners and etiquette. You won't have the influence. Just have some fun with him.