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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what your 13 year old DD's do for fun?

44 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 30/01/2018 10:54

Just trying to see if mine's like others....I used to worry about her a lot as she's always been very self-contained and mature for her age....even as a toddler she seemed grown up.

She's got to 13 quite smoothly really and has always had a nice friendship group but she spends an inordinate amount of time in her room!

She goes ice skating about once a fortnight with her mates or into the city to shop and drink weird "bubble tea" and to the rare sleepover ....she doesn't really like sleepovers but will attend if one of her friends does that as a birthday celebration.

She laughs and chats to her mates online (can hear her) and watches things on Netflix and Youtube.

Does that sound ok? What do yours do?

OP posts:

Seeline · 30/01/2018 11:01

Mine is Y9.
She dances 2 x week after school (just dropped down from 3 because HW was getting too much)
She still goes to Guides.
She has one good school friend, but she lives quite a way away, so can only meet up during the holidays if parents are involved in providing lifts etc, but they do go shopping, Costas, trampolining etc if we can arrange it. They also spend days together and have sleepovers. Sometimes friend comes to ours after school.
She also occasionally meets up for a shopping spree with old friends from primary.
WhatsApp/FaceTime etc
Most of the time though when not doing HW, she is playing games on her tech, reading, crafting or working on Guide stuff.

Blankuser1992 · 30/01/2018 11:27

Bubble tea is from Asia and it’s quite nice :)

She might be more into tumblr etc than socialising , ask her if she likes any youtubers!

You could see what hobbies she would like to try more of, what her favourite celeb is or such things

And go from there.

Some people arnt social butterflies at 13 but could use a push in the right direction.

Go for bubble tea with her , bond etc

implantsandaDyson · 30/01/2018 11:33

Mine is nearly 13 - she watches Netflix, goes out with her school friends to the pictures, shopping, cafe etc about once a fortnight. She plays a sport so she trains one night a week and maybe plays in a match every 10 days or so. Talks a lot on the phone, draws a bit. She sounds very like your daughter , most of her friends do exactly the same.

Abracadabraapileofbollocks · 30/01/2018 11:33

Another bubble tea one (it's disgustingly sweet). She reads, phones her friends, doodles dress designs, watches thinfs on utube (mostly in her room). She only enjoys a sleeppover at home. She also enjoys camping and survival type and dr who events but sadly wont share those with her school friends as they probably aren't keepers friend wise and take the piss out of anything "unusual".

Paperdoll16 · 30/01/2018 11:38

Wow never heard of bubble tea.

My DD is y9 but just turned 14.

She plays football every Sunday but with training Friday evenings.
Youth club tue evenings.
Often a Nando's and cinema date with the girls on Saturday per month, plus an awakeover (who called them sleepovers? )
In her room she plays her guitar, writes songs. Plays with her hamsters.
Plays the Xbox and chats to friends. A little phone time but not overly obsessed with it like her older sister.

therealposieparker · 30/01/2018 16:52

Tune into the Infinite Monkey cage this week on radio 4....

A perfectly timed piece of radio!!

winglesspegasus · 30/01/2018 18:07

drive their parents crazy

EmpressoftheMundane · 30/01/2018 18:18

Trampoline parks, sports, fiddling with phone, making a fancy journal and measuring and recording every moment of her day.

helenoftroyville · 30/01/2018 18:34

You are going to get a lot of responses about how people's DD's play three musical instruments, help the elderly, play many sports, do hours of homework, hold down two jobs and do hours if homework

But yes, FaceTiming friends, shopping a few sleepovers and the odd ice skating trip sounds exactly right for a 13YO

RainbowDashed · 30/01/2018 18:38

Mine is pretty much like yours
She goes to guides every week but other than that she's in her room. She talks to her mates online, sometimes they meet up and go into town for a coffee or a mooch around the shops. she will come and chat to us occasionally when she's really bored

donners312 · 30/01/2018 18:39

That sort of thing plus a whole lot of falling out with friends??

rocketgirl22 · 30/01/2018 18:40

My dd is 13 too, and where as I was always at a friends house every evening she is content to snapchat and face time her friends. So I feel I am always having to encourage her to actually spend time with her friends, she says she and her friends are all the same.

Plays tennis once a week
All the usual sports and matches at school
Once a fortnight or sometimes longer if things are busy at school she goes to the cinema or shopping, or out for waffles with her friends
She does yoga and meditation every night
Walks the dogs
Homework and reading
Weekend baking (making a mess of the kitchen and the end result is not always entirely edible)
Painting and crafting when I encourage it (she doesn't choose to do it now by herself, and is somewhat bored of my amateur efforts)
Researches Pinterest for ideas for designing her room, making cakes or fashion
Chats to her friends via SM

Birthday sleepovers only, the novelty of being exhausted has truly worn off, but she will happily go for someone's birthday but no more.

She seem happy to do her own thing, but I worry she doesn't see her friends enough in RL....but it is different now clearly to the days we hung out reading teen mags every night!

MsHarry · 30/01/2018 18:41

Mine is yr 9 age 13 nearly 14. Much more of a home girl than elder DD at that age. She sometimes meets friend in town at the weekend to shop or go to an ice-cream parlour or cinema.Doesn't really like sleepovers but will go for a birthday or something. She goes to a dance class once a week but spends most of her time with us and the dog or in her room chatting to friends, She has snap chat and instagram.

budgiegirl · 30/01/2018 18:41

My DD12 goes to scouts one evening per week, plus occasional weekend trips/camps.

Other than that, she messages friends, plays games on the computer, watches Modern Family on a loop, at weekends she meets friends in town for a Costa, or swimming, or goes for an occasional sleepover .

MsHarry · 30/01/2018 18:43

Oh she does do homework and is learning to play guitar so has that going on in her room too!! Lots of friend falling out issues this year , i can't keep up with who is friend or foe sometimes!

rocketgirl22 · 30/01/2018 18:44

Oh god yes, and the hours talking about the latest 'drama' and decoding what it means (nothing) I should charge by the hour for the time spent (wasted) listening to the latest hormonal bust up.

MsHarry · 30/01/2018 18:45

Yes to weekend baking(very messy )but she makes nice cakes and biscuits and does tidy up just not to my standard! She also cookies once a week for the family when I am out late taking other DD to her music lesson. she's a great girl.

MsHarry · 30/01/2018 18:45

rocket Same! I start out interested and concerned and when I get to the bottom of it there is nothing there! Mountains out of molehills springs to mind.

saladdays66 · 30/01/2018 18:46

Reading, homework, one club, trampolining, going into town with friends to shop/mooch around, seeing her boyfriend, watching netflix, on her phone, sleepovers, writing her blog...

rocketgirl22 · 30/01/2018 18:50

Mostly I am surprised and just a bit amazed by her calm attitude, her maturity for her age and the sense that she is just so much more together/insightful/switched on than I ever was (or even managed to be by 21)
I think I can speak for all of them when I say this, despite the fallings out, they are great great girls with everything going for them...

londonmummy1966 · 30/01/2018 18:53

Yr 9dd just turned 14 - does play 4 musical instruments (but doesn't practice!). Choir twice a week and Saturday music school. She usually takes herself off for a run a couple of times a week. The rest of the time she is doing homework/on her phone/baking cakes/doing her nails (or fake ones to stick on at the weekend)/watching Netflix. Once a month or so if she has a bit of extra time she'll meet up with a friend to go swimming/shopping/cinema/coffee/sailing.

As PPs have said social media to discuss the dramas of the day takes a long time at this age - she has a particularly nasty tutor group compared with her older sister.

TwoBlueFish · 30/01/2018 18:54

DS1 (14) goes to the gym once a week, Drama once a week and trampolining once a week. Other than that he spends most of his time either in his room (singing, SIMS, YouTube, face time, etc) or singing and dancing in the garden.

DS2(13) does no clubs, he delivers the local paper once a week and apart from that spends his time in his room playing games on his PC, chatting to friends, watching YouTube, drooling over trainers or sleeping!

londonmummy1966 · 30/01/2018 18:55

Oh and endless time spent in the bathroom making a hell of a mess..

spidereye · 30/01/2018 18:56

Sea scouts, gymnastics, piano, ddog and dcat, Netflix, mobile phone, Harry Potter (books, films, everything) Occasional sleepover, shopping trip with friends. Loves Costa & Starbucks, oh and still making slime

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 30/01/2018 19:01

Swimmimg (3 x weekly plus competitions), piano, drawing, doing 'Musiclys' (is that a word?) on her 'phone, reading, WhatsApping with her class mates, listening to a bloody irritating YouTuber called Bibi, painting her nails, practising handstands against the wardrobe in her bedroom, occasional sleepover or cinema visit, and playing with her dolls (but ONLY when she thinks no one will see).

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