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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if he wants it, he can cook it

47 replies

leiaorganashair · 23/01/2018 20:03

I do 90% of the cooking. DP can cook, just can't be bothered and says my cooking is better.

I am lactose intolerant. If I'm cooking, it will be something that doesn't have dairy products in it because I can't be bothered to do something separate. DP has said tonight that he misses having macaroni cheese, lasagne, cheesy mash and things like that for dinner.

AIBU to say if he wants cheesy meals for dinner he can cook them himself?

OP posts:
LadyB49 · 23/01/2018 20:05

Make mash and add cheese to his portion.

Sirzy · 23/01/2018 20:05

Encourage him to spend a few hours batch cooking if it makes it easier in the long run.

But yanbu to not cook them for him

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 23/01/2018 20:05

It's OK to miss it. We have assorted intolerances / allergies. One of us will sometimes say "Oh how I miss cheesy pasta!" or similar. It isn't a demand or a complaint.

Was it definitely a demand/complaint?

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 23/01/2018 20:07

YADNBU

BattleCuntGalactica · 23/01/2018 20:08

If he wants it, then yes he should cook it himself.

PaperdollCartoon · 23/01/2018 20:09

You can make all those things without dairy and have them still taste properly cheesy. Believe me, I’ve done it

DriggleDraggle · 23/01/2018 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 23/01/2018 20:12

Of course he can cook them himself. You aren’t staff!! I bloody hate cooking but I do it because we need to eat- if my DC fancy something other than what i make them they have to sort themselves out. Your DP isn’t in a restaurant putting in an order, if he fancies mac’n’cheese he knows where the cooker is.

Original poster
leiaorganashair · 23/01/2018 20:17

It was definitely a demand/request.

The lactose-free stuff is vile :(

paperdoll I would love some recipes! We tried a vegan Mac and cheese with carrots and cashew nuts, he said he liked it but it was no replacement for the real thing.

OP posts:
TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 23/01/2018 20:17

Make mash and add cheese to his portion.

Make mash and ^he can* add cheese to his portion.

Fixed it!

user1493413286 · 23/01/2018 20:18

He can cook it if he wants it!

blackberryfairy · 23/01/2018 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkHeart5914 · 23/01/2018 20:20

It’s fine to miss that food, I bloody would I love cheesy food!

If your ever cooking mash anyway it’s easy to add some cheese but otherwise he can cook and freeze in portions or buy ready made ones

FadedRed · 23/01/2018 20:21

Buy the ready made stuff and put it in the oven/microwave. Easy-peasy and no extra prep or cooking.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 23/01/2018 20:22

I like cooking. I often batch cook. That way we can have different things for dinner. DH and DS1 can have creamy fishy thing while DS2, DD and I can have beefy thing. Not any harder work really.

That said, DH would happily cook 2 meals for me, so I don't feel resentful at all. He also has a strict policy of never saying anything bad about food that was cooked for you.

NewYearNiki · 23/01/2018 20:22

Tbh I can't be arsed to make macaroni cheese from scratch either.

M&S ready made macaroni cheese is nice

Buy a bloody ready meal and he can chuck it in the microwave.

Original poster
leiaorganashair · 23/01/2018 20:23

It's not so much I mind cooking it as I can't be bothered with cooking two different meals.

DD has always disliked milk and yoghurt, she will eat cheese occasionally but really isn't fussed. My mum and my brother are also lactose intolerant so I suspect DD may be mildly. If it was a meal DP didn't like then I would stop cooking it, but I don't particularly want to start making a separate meal for him just because he wants it when there's nothing stopping him making it himself.

OP posts:
ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 23/01/2018 20:24

I don't know....if he is demanding and not offering to share the cooking then YANBU. However, I'm vegetarian and I do most of the cooking in our house (DH does the clear up after). I make a lot of meat-free meals but I also do a lot of meals where I can easily add in some meat for DH. I wouldn't just say "if you want meat, make it yourself". I know he likes it so I make it for him. I'm sure there are meals where you could easily add cheese.

BangPippleGo · 23/01/2018 20:25

YANBU. I can't eat pasta, so don't cook pasta. If DH wants some he will do it himself without complaint.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 23/01/2018 20:26

*Make mash and add cheese to his portion.
Make mash and ^he can add cheese to his portion. Fixed it

He can make mash and he can add cheese to his portion

Fixed it more Grin

moochypooch · 23/01/2018 20:27

We are split 50:50 - two can have wheat and dairy and two can't. Mostly we all eat the same - dh and dd have their indulgences at lunchtime and occasionally we make two versions, if someone was craving I'd make the effort but not all the time.

DriggleDraggle · 23/01/2018 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBlindspot · 23/01/2018 20:30

Aw I don't know. It depends on how he asked really. If he demanded it I'd tell him to fuck right off and remind him that I'm not a short order chef. If it was a 'would you mind making me this one night please I really fancy it?' I'd probably do it.

I do 90% of the cooking as my DH doesn't get home from work until half seven so if he cooked we would eat until 9pm.

My DH hates cheese (no intolerance just doesn't like it) and I miss cheesy meals
so sometimes I make them just for me! I've finally got it so he'll eat lasagne, just with no cheese on his half. He also loves cottage or shepherd pie. I don't eat it I think it's the most dull meal in existence and I don't like mash. But occasionally he says he misses it so I make it for him even though I don't have any. I just freeze the rest and do something else for me.

It's just doing something nice for someone you care about isn't it, as long as it's not all the time or a demand.

2rebecca · 23/01/2018 20:38

I don't cook food I don't like, which isn't much but I agree if he wants it it's easy for him to cook it, and I agree he can freeze a couple of portions too.

Sparkletastic · 23/01/2018 20:41

Lactofree milk and cheddar cheese taste exactly like milk and cheddar cheese. That said he can fuck off and make his own dinner AND yours.

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