To think if he wants it, he can cook it

[leiaorganashair]

I do 90% of the cooking. DP can cook, just can't be bothered and says my cooking is better.

I am lactose intolerant. If I'm cooking, it will be something that doesn't have dairy products in it because I can't be bothered to do something separate. DP has said tonight that he misses having macaroni cheese, lasagne, cheesy mash and things like that for dinner.

AIBU to say if he wants cheesy meals for dinner he can cook them himself?

I think the lactose free stuff tastes awful, but I had been off dairy products for years before I tried it, so it may just be I can't stand the smell or the taste now.

We work similar hours. There is nothing to stop him cooking.

Some of these threads are a bit scary

Refusing to ever make a meal dh likes just because you can't eat it.

Lots of he can like it or lump it.

He's your dh. If he is a good man, works hard , provides for his family etc. Surely it isnt that much of an inconvenience.

Or take turns to cook.

He's your dh. If he is a good man, works hard , provides for his family etc. Surely it isnt that much of an inconvenience.

The OP also works hard and provides for her family. Surely it isn't too much for a 'good man' to not treat his wife like staff? In fact, if he was that good a man he would give the OP a night off from cooking, cook for his family and add cheese to his own portion, Why not?

If your issue is actually with lactose, you may be pleased to hear that hard cheese has basically no lactose (it’s all digested during the cheese-making). White sauce may be out, but you could have cheesy mash if you wanted.
But in answer to your question, of course YANBU. Why should you cook something you can’t eat?

I wouldn't cook something different either, I'm a SAHM and still wouldn't cook something completely different just because.

I'll happily make stuff that I'm not greatly keen on for DP and DS and will make minor tweaks, but otherwise DP is an adult.

DP is even more annoying though as he offers to cook stuff I won't touch (sheppard's pie, stews ) and then gets flustered when I say I'll make myself a sandwich. And insists he'll cook something else for me when I'm perfectly happy with aforementioned sandwich .

I can eat tiny amounts of low lactose cheese, but anything like the quantities you'd get in a cheesy main meal I can't do. Cheese sauce is a complete no because of the milk mostly.

I am not a SAHM. We both work. There is nothing stopping him cooking his own lasagne.

I am tempted by the ready meal idea though

blackberryfairy But I do cook, just not things I really won't touch.
I'll make stuff like pulled pork which isn't a favourite, but I don't mind for example.

On the rare occasions, DP cooks he can make stuff that only he will eat.

Agreed the dairy free stuff tastes odd, but the lacto free milk cheese and milk are identical to 'real' mikl/cheese. I wish there were a proper butter... but I suppose we can't have it all.

But if you don't like cheesy food, then there is little point in making it, so yes, your H can make macaroni cheese etc if he so wishes

Shop bought macaroni cheese isn't bad at all. I think there is a compromise to be had there, if he can't get off his arse.

Hissy: there is lactofree butter, and it tastes somewhere between Kerrygold and Anchor spreadable, i.e. yummy salty buttery.

I've also made my own lactofree butter before, using the lactofree cream whizzed up to a froth then strained through a muslin, washed with cold water and a bit of salt added. Tasted like the proper lactofree butter but hard so not nice and spreadable.

If OP doesn't like the taste of cheesy/milky stuff that's fine, OP's DP is quite capable of making his own cheesy, milky meals.

For me it would depend on when he cooks does he do a version for you? If he does, then you should return the gesture.

I’ve had the spreads lacto free one, which is ok, but not a patch on real proper butter. It’s still a bit ‘spready’, but the flavour is ok, not as plastic as the other non dairy stuff

I tend to only get lacto free cheese, butter and milk at home, haven’t made cauliflower cheese or anything as yet, but that’s cos there’s always so much else to make that everyone loves. We’re gluten intolerant too... (old) so lacto is the least of our problems

But my oh cooks stuff as do I, we do the more serious cooking as a team tho

*Some of these threads are a bit scary

Refusing to ever make a meal dh likes just because you can't eat it.

Lots of he can like it or lump it.

He's your dh. If he is a good man, works hard , provides for his family etc. Surely it isnt that much of an inconvenience.*

He refuses to do 90% of the cooking, why is that ok? Is OP not a good woman who provides for her family? Surely it's not much of an inconvenience for him to make his own dinner if he wants something specific?

blackberryfairy DS won't eat them either which is probably putting me off as well.

I don't exclude anything major other than peppers .

Coeliac and I cook gluten free, period.

If the family wants something different, they are welcome to cook or bring it themselves.

Of course he should do it himself. I’ve recently stopped eating meat so I now cook meat free meals for the family. If they want something meaty they can cook themselves a different meal! (We both work, I do all the cooking but don’t enjoy it).

yanbu

I like most dairy free alternatives and hate the lactose free stuff. I'm not sure how long the lactose free milk has been around, I certainly wasn't aware of it until I'd been dairy free for a long time. My mother is from a culture that traditionally eats very little dairy so it just wasn't an issue growing up. It may be it tastes weird to me because I just didn't have it as a kid.

On the rare occasion DP cooks it will be something we can all eat. Usually he will cook if I've been at work and he hasn't. If we both have I will cook. We've never really done cooking separate meals, only sometimes when DSC are here.

It sounds like you feel strongly about it because you feel the split between you of the cooking is unfair so perhaps that is more what needs addressing?