I’m not BU just need help. To all parents, TA’s, teachers and all staff in schools

[Letsmaketheworldbetter]

I’ve just posted this in education but let’s be honest we all love a AIBU thread so I thought I’d post it on here hoping to get more responses as I genuinely need all your help. I’m sure a lot will want to voice their opinion.

As parents/school staff there are always improvements we would like to see for our child/children’s school. Some of you may think they are too irrelevant to mention, or you may not have the confidence to voice your opinions to your child’s teacher or your colleague.
I am currently working in a primary school and would like to make some improvements. I don’t have the authority to employ more staff or buy more resources, but I’m hoping I can make a difference.
I would like your opinions in case I have missed anything.
Thank you in advance.

It would be nice if more parents said thank you occasionally when we go the extra mile for their kids.

I’m not saying give gifts etc, just drop an email or say thanks face to face!

Many do, but so many just ignore the efforts you have gone to, which are above and beyond your official role.

Communication is a big one at my kids school. We are often texted in the morning about money or other resources the children need for that day. It's often too last minute even if you're at home with your kids (spotty t-shirt at 8am anyone?) but for the the parents who have already dropped their kids at the breakfast club and gone to work when they get the text it's very irritating.

School office staff here, complete opposite to corbyns above , parents should read the newsletter it goes out weekly on the same day and tells you lots of interesting and important stuff, like when trips are and what kids need to wear. It’s also on the website so don’t tell me Johnny never brings it home! And certainly don’t tell me, oh I never read that it’s a waste of time, or that wasn’t on the newsletter how am I supposed to know ? (I write the blinking thing so if I says it was on it was on !) sorry that was a bit of a rant

@auntpetunia your school is lucky to have you. I have both issues. One where my daughter attends school, the newsletter is monthly but is about 10 pages (no exaggeration) so it’s a bit frustrating. At the school I work at, it is weekly but the head used to copy and paste in almost every newsletter. It got to the point where even I would look at it and throw it. There’s the other issue of the child actually giving the newsletter to their parent. I personally think email is the way forward.

Your school sounds more organised than ours. The newsletter section of our website is full of newsletters over 2 years old and nothing else!
And the ones that get sent out don't have all the dates in. I know this as every date goes straight on my calendar when I get home.
It's also an issue for some of my friends who are single parents when the newsletters go home with dad on a Friday and the information isn't passed on.

It would help if parents actually supported the school and teachers by not complaining about every little thing.
If a teacher deems it appropriate to keep little Johnny in for ten minutes at playtime for talking/being cheeky/not doing his homework for the 3rd time that week, please support that decision instead of challenging it and coming into school to make a fuss.

Our school has uses an app called seesaw. It's brilliant. Has notifications that pop up on phone. Each class has own journal and teachers can send private messages as well as class stuff. It's brilliant for working parents and great for reminders - saved my bacon so many times

Try not to keep asking for money.

Parents hate saying no, but when you've got more than one child at the school it gets very expensive and sometimes quite difficult.

I think most parents do support the school when discipline is fair and proportionate. I didn't support the school when my child was kept in at break because he told a teacher another child had kicked him and the other child denied it. Both children were kept in as she didn't know who was lying. The others child admitted it eventually and my dc was allowed to go outside just as the bell went. So he missed his break time for being kicked.
I didn't complain by the way. But I didn't support it either. I told my child I thought it was extremely unfair.
I also didn't support the school policy of denying the children a disco if they didn't have 100% attendance which meant a number of children with disabilities couldn't attend as they'd had unavoidable hospital appointments at clinics which weren't open out of school hours.
I will support the school when they adhere to the law and their own policies but not blindly.

Just remember, you can't please all of the people all of the time. If you can please 90% of the parents 90% of the time you are probably doing OK.

Conversely, pay for things you use. If you chose to send your child to breakfast club, please pay the bill promptly rather than have office staff having to chase you, if you don't send your child in with a packed lunch, please pay for the school dinner we have had to supply.

@nanny my school asks for zero money but my daughters school asks for quite a lot. Every time I see another request I think ffs, but then I keep telling myself it’s for their education, there’s a reason blah blah blah. Tbh my daughters school is fantastic and probably the best in the area. So although I hate it, I also slightly support it. Is yours optional?

Communication between schools and parents is often extremely poor. This is an issue currently being prompted by education thought leaders. Generally speaking, the "parent voice" is ignored. Yet parents are huge stakeholders in their children's education.

This affects every aspect of education from the attitude of school secretaries (as so clearly illustrated by the officious poster above) to academic achievement and pastoral care.

My daughter's school, for example, publishes a lengthy newsletter each week containing a vast amount of information about school goings on. Well good luck retaining that information! Far better to have a quality website where parents and students can access required information relevant to them when they need it. (Eg term dates, timetables continually updated with any changes, trip dates, organised by year/subject/class)

Some schools are doing this at last, usually with the help of external suppliers, apps and so much n. For example, my son's school app gives you a choice of updates to subscribe to (eg water polo, chamber group, year group) and reminders pop up. All parents get urgent notices such as early closing because of extreme weather or major incident)

Promoted not prompted

My main issue is a lack of parental support, not behaviour but educational. I really want to see much more parent involvement. I’m thinking the solution to this would be to run a few workshops to support parents. I would also like the school to involve parents more. I’m hoping to give parents a weekly overview of what the children will be learning that week.

@Letsmaketheworldbetter

They generally are optional, but there is always a subtext - no money, trip will be cancelled etc.

I appreciate some requests are reasonable, but like a former thread where schools were asking parents to buy SATs revision books, some are not.

And again, you don't know all the parents' circumstances - many have no spare cash each month and/or more than one child.

School support staff and secondary parent (I work at 2 schools and have children at 2 separate schools) so I see both sides.

Please read the newsletter and othe letters from school.

Please keep your child’s lunch account topped up - check it at the weekend it takes 10 seconds

Please remember that there are 1000 pupils at school, not just your child, and we have to be fair to everyone.

Please respect the school rules - eg if we ask parents not to drop off inside the school car park for safety reasons, that means you too. Rules apply to everyone.

I could go on. 95% of our parents are wonderful but there are a few i’d Like to have a quiet word with.

From a teachers point of view, we have to send ANY information going home to the office who then deal with it while prioritising it within their workload. But a quick note home about phonics sounds a group may be struggling with and need to practise or recycling to bring in can take a week to go out. Then parents complain about late notice.

My DDs school are also awful for communication. They used to do a weekly newsletter which was helpful but has stopped, even then we had last minute notices through. E.g. letter home on Tueday to say DD to dress up as an evacuee on Thursday. No information on their website either. Other than that they're a good school. The teachers always do their best and are fab with the kids.

Paying for non school uniform days. With s big family it gets annoying!!!

We have seesaw too, it's great.

We set up a PTA in our school and it's been more of a PITA. Nobody is interested.

We are in a deprived area. Constant requests for money is hard for some parents. Very little notice to turn up in red clothes for example.

Hardly any after school clubs, zero drama productions apart from the nativity etc.

I attended the same school and the difference is shocking.
It's almost as if having zero ambition or aspiration is normal.

It's gone from outstanding to requires improvement in a few years and it saddens me that this once lovely school is failing so badly.

@strumpet please do go on, all advice is welcome.
I’m looking to find a balance on both sides. Your post above was from an educational practitioners point of view. What is your view as a parent.
Before I had children I had a completely different opinion, now as a parent I can relate to a lot of the parents complaints. I want parents to be heard, I want to be heard as a parent.

I work in a school and am a parent so can see both sides.

Areas for improvement would be communication (eg if I need to get my DC kit please let me know at the start of the holidays, not at the start of the new term; if my DC has had an issue please let me know. I will support the school if I feel the sanction is appropriate. )

Second area for improvement for me would be to ensure that children who are often marginalised, eg SEN kids, are fully included. eg let the dyslexic child be the narrator in the Xmas play - it doesnt matter if they need prompting or other support provided. Create safe areas for them. eg buddy benches; suitable games (not every child can cope being part of a team)

Communication is key for me as well. I really think schools/admin staff need to step back and read things from the point of view of the person receiving them.

Some things I brought up at my DC's primary school which would be so easy to fix

• upwards of 20 spelling and grammar mistakes on a single A4 newsletter (just sloppy)
• information about trips that had the wrong dates on (or no dates). Have a "trip letter" checklist.
• information about activities outside of normal school hours where the actual date was not confirmed until 1 or 2 days in advance (such a PITA if you have too make alternative arrangements)
• losing reply slips (yes it happens, but shouldn't happen at the frequency it did)
• incorrectly receipting money (huge palaver to prove I had sent in the sum I said I had)
• key dates out as soon as they are known, not a few days before.
• I had 2 children at the school. A message on my answerphone talking about "your child" is not helpful
• if you're going to cancel an after school club you need to do this more robustly then just telling the DC at the club the week before (particularly if half of them were off ill)
• do not assume a parent knows all the latest teaching jargon (particularly where it's not even teaching jargon but something you made up)

Communication with parents, (and a way of parents communicating back) and forward planning and advanced notice.

Fancy dress? (Including red t-shirt or whatever) 2 weeks please notice please.(stuff can take a week to be delivered on the internet, or saturday is the only day I can get to town.)
Sports day? School play? Half a term notice so we can book off work.
£200 residential? 3/4 of a year's notice so we can save up.
(I'm sick of sitting in meetings and hearing people say 'we won't tell the parents until nearer the time, they'll just forget'. We are adults FFS.)

No collective punishment.

It is all very well a child being assigned an adult they can talk to if they are worried or upset. No bloody use if the other members of staff refuse access to that person.

Don't treat parents as the enemy. We have entrusted you with our child's education. We want them to succeed. But we know them better than you.
(Many polite, kind, well behaved children are actually so terrified of doing things wrong at school or getting into trouble, that they spend the whole day in a highly wound up state. They are not fine. It all comes out at home.)