Other parents and drug use

[Justkeepleft]

I have never really thought about it. Last night my friend told me she was distancing herself from another class mother due her drug use.
So cocaine at a party and her husband using that on gaming weekends. Pills were mentioned.
My friend is very stressed about the situation and wonders if now she should let other parent's know. Would you want to know?

You will probably get loads of responses telling you that you are over reacting and that most people do this.

In my world most people don't. But I don't think it is your place to spread gossip like this. Stay out of it.

I wouldn't let other people know, no. But I would keep my distance as drugs aren't my scene at all.

-waits for someone to come along and start talking about how much worse drinking alcohol is blah blah-

Your friend is overacting to gossip, its none of her business what other people do, as long as it does not hurt or impact negativley on other peoples lives. Its certainly none of your business

I would only really want to know if my teenage kids were spending a lot of time at their house. I don't really see what difference knowing or not knowing would make otherwise.

I think there's often a misconception around drugs that anyone who uses them is like a heroin addict. There are probably quite a few occasional coke users on the school run and you'd never know unless it came up in conversation.

I wouldn't tell anybody. I would distance myself though, parents taking drugs is pathetic.

Sounds like childish gossip.

I think you would be surprised at how many occasional recreational drug users you know.

So long as it’s not cocaine at a children’s party, I’m not really sure what the issue is.

Most people I know (and I’m talking middle aged professionals) dabble occasionally.

Sounds the definition of gossip to me.

I think she should distance herself and no sleep overs or any opportunities where these people would have responsibility for her children. I wouldn't gossip to other parents.

If your friend starts telling this to others, without evidence, she'll cause a lot if trouble and make herself look very vindictive. I would stay out of it and suggest she does the same.

So long as it’s not cocaine at a children’s party, I’m not really sure what the issue is.

Oh yes. Because when you take drugs, especially when you're not young, there is absolutely no comedown and no lasting effect on your mood yeah?

Don't be stupid. People in their 30s regularly taking pills and coke are going to be irritable, paranoid messes for weeks afterwards.

I'm more intrigued as to why your friends first reaction was 'to let other parents know' and not the school for example.

School would suggest she had genuine concern. Letting other parents know suggests she's just a massive gossip.

So I'd distance myself from the both of them if I were you to be honest.

Paranoid comedowns that last for weeks?

I think you’ve been taking the wrong stuff, mate.

That must be some terrible stuff if it gives a comedown for weeks. Find a better supplier.

irritable, paranoid messes for weeks afterwards.

I think that's why a little experimentation when you're young is a good thing. It gives you realistic ideas.

The 'let other parents know' thing sounds like vile bullying to me.

Will she be letting them know if she finds out they're addicted to prescription drugs?

Drinking a little too much wine on a weekend?

She has the right to distance herself from whoever she wants, but 'letting other parents know', is just code for spreading gossip and rumours.

I think that's why a little experimentation when you're young is a good thing. It gives you realistic ideas.

Listen flower. I've shoved enough cocaine up my nostrils Escobar should have sent me a personal thank you letter. I've been to more raves than you've had hot dinners and had enough pills, speed, ketamine, shrooms and acid I should probably have been classified as a biohazard and was once hospitalised by the fallout.

But I had enough sense to realise as you grow up taking drugs isn't really compatible with a responsible lifestyle.

I've also had the misfortune of involvement with people who didn't stop. Who say 'oh I just do a few lines and a few pills on the Friday, avoid the kids on Sunday and it's fine'.

But it's not, it's really not. You might not be in the actual comedown but mood is affected for a long time afterwards including irritability and low level paranoia. Snapping at the kids over nothing, not getting on with people at work. Shouting at your spouse.

And of course they always say 'But I'm fine after the comedown' because it's other people that have to put up with their bullshit and notice the change. Not them.

You are not the self-appointed moral barometer of what others do in their private lives. It has nothing to do with you. Keep your nose out. You would have absolutely no place telling other parents, you weirdo.

Elton you sound like you're on a come-down now!

I would imagine it affects people differently, in the same way hangovers do. Some suffer badly, some mildly and some not at all.

The OP hasn't even said how frequent/non frequent these gaming weekends are and whether the husband is responsible for the kids the day after.

Personally none of that is for me or my DH, but I certainly wouldn't recommend this woman starts spreading gossip to other parents.

knowwhen

Or just don't take any at all? Apart from a couple of drags on a spliff I've never touched anything else. Never felt the need to. If nothing else, it's a ridiculously expensive habit.

What a weird post. What makes you think your recreational drug use was any different to anyone else’s?

It’s perfectly possible to do coke a few times a year with no negative impact on your life. I’d be more worried about parents who drink three bottles of wine regularly on a Saturday night tbh. But I’d still keep my beak out.

Ah yes. 'I don't get a comedown'. Which means 'I don't get a comedown which bothers me but it will you'. Or the being tired and irritable during the week because you haven't slept at the weekend. And with age you don't just walk away with no comeback.

I feel really sorry for kids in this situation. I've seen many of them some of whom are adults now. And despite them protesting it never affected their parenting it bloody did. In fact the grown up kids I know who were in this situation are vehemently anti-drugs because it was so unpleasant for them. They knew, they used to dread the weeks after their parents had been to a rave.

Someone I know well has child free weekends every two weeks. Once in a while she’ll have a Big Weekend. She’ll sleep all day Sunday and then goes to her professional job on Monday morning where she manages a team of 100+ very successfully, and then pick the DC up and be supermum.

Would I do it? No. Do I judge? Not in the slightest. In fact I’m a bit jealous she has the opportunity.

Haha @elton. You certainly were the cool kid doing all those drugs as well as knowing when to stop.

No of course not. Distance yourself from them if you want but have you actually seen this or have any proof of it? If not you are spreading malicious gossip. The only situation in which id 'wish to know' is if someone had actually seen it or had proof and it in some way effected me, my child, or their child, because they were doing it or coming off it when supposedly caring for them.

So no... id not want to know that theres a vague rumour that so and so might have done drugs sometime at a party and you heard it from so and so.... id think less of you than them to be honest for spreading something like that