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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell riding school about this...

72 replies

madeforfour · 16/01/2018 17:07

A group of us go riding with our LOs at a local stables. A (new to playgroup) mum asked to come along but children have to be at least three years (legal requirement for insurance) so she'd have to wait until April as her son is only two.

I have just noticed that she has put pics on her facebook page of her son having a lesson (definitely the stables we go to, I recognise the pony and the instructor). I'm thinking she must have lied about her son's age as you have to fill in a long form with details about height and weight and age and experience of your child when you first go. It isn't a one off either as I looked further back on her page and they went last week as well.

I'm not worried about her morals, that's her affair. I'm worried about the stables getting into trouble if there is an accident.

Do I tell the riding school?

OP posts:
Alittleconcerned1980 · 16/01/2018 17:09

Yes, I would

But no big drama. Just confirm the minimum and then say that you are aware that x’s child is 2.

Leave it at that

Whatshallidonowpeople · 16/01/2018 17:09

No, it's none of your business. If the stables don't verify the info then that's their responsibility

PeaceLoveAndDixie · 16/01/2018 17:10

I would Blush

picklemepopcorn · 16/01/2018 17:10

I think in a way it's her lookout. The stables will be covered, because they have no reason to think he is too young. They did their part, it's her.

If you wanted, you could ask if they do younger children on one to ones, as you've seen a photo of an under 3.

Worst case scenario, If he were to have an accident and need long term care, his mum wouldn't get any support from Insurance. That said, does it matter given we have NHS?

Alittleconcerned1980 · 16/01/2018 17:11

Whatshallidonowpeople

What an insular way to live.

ObiJuanKenobi · 16/01/2018 17:12

I don't think the stables would get in trouble - they've done all they can in asking and expecting parents to be honest for their children's safety. If people want to take the piss it's at their own risk (or their children's) who won't be covered by the riding schools insurance should the worst happen and their child have an accident.

frasersmummy · 16/01/2018 17:15

No .. its not up to you to tell the stables how to run their business

If they don't have insurance for under 3s and they aren't checking that's their lookout

Original poster
madeforfour · 16/01/2018 17:18

picklemepopcorn They definitely don't do one to ones for under threes because this issue comes up a lot with the mums around here (horsey place!)

ObiJuanKenobi They were adamant when my little group started that the children had to be three because they said they could be closed down. But perhaps they meant if they knowingly let someone on a pony under three.

OP posts:
ObiJuanKenobi · 16/01/2018 17:25

Oh I see, I suppose if they're relying on parents being honest and they have a record of age signed by a parent then they've done all they can!

That's the trouble with little ones they don't have age I.d like we do!

If you're genuinely concerned maybe have a quiet word.

ItsMeUsername · 16/01/2018 17:27

Perhaps it was knowingly, as a one off for this particular child. Perhaps she has lied, but people do lie and if the organisers are suspicious you would assume they'd ask for some form of verification. To be honest, I'd just leave it alone. Not every situation is worth getting involved in.

riledandharrassed · 16/01/2018 17:28

Hmm I would leave it . Why is it your problem?

Original poster
madeforfour · 16/01/2018 17:30

ObiJuanKenobi We actually had to sign a form, looked very official, so perhaps the stables are covered if the parent lied.

OP posts:
Original poster
madeforfour · 16/01/2018 17:33

riledandharrassed because I don't want anything to happen to the stables!

OP posts:
HamishBamish · 16/01/2018 17:36

I wouldn’t. If she has filled in a form with his incorrect and signed it, then she will be liable not the stables if there’s an accident.

If I were the stables I would ask for a birth certificate for young children just to be sure.

BrokenBattleDroid · 16/01/2018 17:39

I would be concerned for the riding school. Yes, might not be a problem unless they knowingly gave a lesson to an under 3.

But someone happy to lie about their child's age might be happy to take the lie to the next level if something happened. What if she insisted that the riding school had told her to put that as her child's age (or something) so that they were covered?

I'd be upfront - hi riding school, just checking a situation as I was worried you might be potentially getting yourself in trouble - do you now do lessons for 2 year olds or would a parent have had to pass their child off a three year to get a lesson with you? I've definitely seen a 2 year old having a lesson with you so just wanted to give you a heads up in case it's the latter.

SandyDenny · 16/01/2018 17:40

It is OK for people to be bothered about things outside of their own little bubbles you know.

Of course the OP and other parents who stick to the rules are going to be annoyed and concerned about the implications for the riding school, that's understandable.

Why not ask if the policy has changed as you know someone (little white lie) whose 2 year old is interested in starting lessons, if they say it's still 3 you can say you asked because you know a 2 year old has been having lessons and you'd hoped it had changed.

Original poster
madeforfour · 16/01/2018 17:41

HamishBamish That's exactly what I said to DH, they should ask for a birth certificate. In fact I took a copy with me when we signed up just in case but they didn't ask to see it.

3 is young for lessons. Most places start at 4. We are lucky to have this place near us.

OP posts:
MavisPike · 16/01/2018 17:43

Bloody hell , I'd say something
That's someones business
What would happen to the horses if it closed ?
The rules are there for a reason

ConfusedButInLove · 16/01/2018 17:47

It's very selfish of her to risk a nice place a lot of the community use. Not to mention her own child's safety.
I would ask a staff member "when did you lower the age restriction?"
And if they state they had not. I would explain.

RB68 · 16/01/2018 17:47

Its not about any of that - the child is NOT insured to ride. Accident = no money to sort it out. That poor child

Namechangetempissue · 16/01/2018 17:50

I would probably mind my own business.
If you really want to say something, why not ask the school if they are now accepting under 3s as you noticed one having a lesson the other day? Who knows, they may be aware -our local school will not usually take under 3s for lessons but do offer a "tiny tots" ride occasionally when little ones can have a snails pace walk round a field with loads of supervision and parent with them.

bobstersmum · 16/01/2018 17:51

I wouldn't get involved. If it was absolutely crucial the children need to be 2 (for insurance purposes or otherwise) they'd ask for proof.
You don't want to look like a tittle tattle tell tale!

bobstersmum · 16/01/2018 17:53

3 sorry

honeysucklejasmine · 16/01/2018 17:53

pickle you'd be very surprised, I think, to realise how little the NHS can help with ongoing care costs. Parents with disabled children often struggle financially. Unless this Mother is a millionaire with a desire to be a carer to a seriously disabled young child, she is playing a very dangerous game.

AlpacaLypse · 16/01/2018 17:54

Tricky... I run an animal related business (dog and other domestic pet care) and have public liability insurance tailored to it. We get our clients to sign an agreement giving permission for us to enter the house, walk off lead, etc etc. We don't ask for proof of anything, eg up to date vaccination certificates, we just rely on the owner's word (and the fact they've signed something to agree that what they said is true).

If this little boy's mum and dad have deliberately lied then the insurance would not pay out should a claim be necessary. It could end up messy for the riding school as it would be bad publicity, and there's always a chance that an ambulance chaser might have a go, saying the riding school should have made more effort to check the facts. And finally, someone up thread said it didn't matter if insurance didn't pay out for potential life changing injuries as there's always the NHS. I'm hoping that was meant to be a sarcastic remark but it didn't read that way.

I'd dob them in to the riding school sooner rather than later.

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