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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to tell riding school about this...

72 replies

madeforfour · 16/01/2018 17:07

A group of us go riding with our LOs at a local stables. A (new to playgroup) mum asked to come along but children have to be at least three years (legal requirement for insurance) so she'd have to wait until April as her son is only two.

I have just noticed that she has put pics on her facebook page of her son having a lesson (definitely the stables we go to, I recognise the pony and the instructor). I'm thinking she must have lied about her son's age as you have to fill in a long form with details about height and weight and age and experience of your child when you first go. It isn't a one off either as I looked further back on her page and they went last week as well.

I'm not worried about her morals, that's her affair. I'm worried about the stables getting into trouble if there is an accident.

Do I tell the riding school?

OP posts:

touchTypist · 17/01/2018 01:42

"self righteous busybody!"

Perfect explanation @Flakebook.

PassiveAgressivePenguin · 17/01/2018 07:08

Riding schools are closing down left right and centre due to red tape thrown at them by councils, the rising cost of money insurance and the fact that people are so trigger happy when it comes to suing and claiming. Off the back of that I would absolutely be telling them. The lack of decent/any riding schools in some areas is a very negative thing.

The other side of the coin, however, is that they just want the money so they aren’t too concerned. It’s only a few months until April, so perhaps they’ve turned a blind eye. Especially if mum is horsey herself.

Original poster

madeforfour · 17/01/2018 10:49

I rang the stables this morning... and they already knew. Seems like more than I had thought it worth reporting.

Receptionist passed me onto the owner who said that their insurance doesn't cover that age (as I knew already) and they could be closed down. They are BHS and ABRS approved and at the very least they could lose this status.

They are acting. They are looking into asking for proof of age (doesn't spoil it for anyone) or putting the minimum age up to 4 (spoils it for lots). They are not allowed to ask for "long" birth certificates because they contain information about the child's parents, nationality and what have you, but may be able to ask for "short ones" or passports.

She didn't say what would happen to playgroup mum and I didn't ask obviously. Playgroup tomorrow. It may be mentioned.

OP posts:

touchTypist · 17/01/2018 11:12

"They are not allowed to ask for "long" birth certificates"\

That's absolute nonsense. It's of the same ilk as if a restaurant doesn't let you take food home in case you get food poisoning!

greendale17 · 17/01/2018 11:19

It's very selfish of her to risk a nice place a lot of the community use.

^Completely agreed. I would say something

socksandpants · 17/01/2018 11:36

touchTypist

It says here school's can't ask to see one, so why should a riding school?

www.theguardian.com/education/2016/oct/08/boycottschoolcensus-why-parents-are-refusing-to-reveal-their-childs-nationality

"Can schools ask to see passports or birth certificates?

No. There are reports that many schools have reacted to the new questions on birth and nationality by asking to do so, but the DfE says parents are not obliged to comply.

Schools and local authorities are allowed to ask for proof of date of birth during the admissions process, but the DfE’s code specifically states they must not ask for “long” birth certificates or “other documents which include information about the child’s parents”."

StormTreader · 17/01/2018 11:45

Well done to you for reporting, seriously.
If that child had been injured and the insurance refused to pay due to them being underage, it may well have had serious repercussions for them and their family as well as closing the riding school. Infuriates me when people ignore rules that are there for good reasons simply because they are not what they prefer.

SandyDenny · 17/01/2018 11:51

Good result, it's reassuring the other parents were bothered about the safety of the child and the future of the riding school.

MynewnameisKy · 17/01/2018 11:55

Surely this is a safe guarding issue. The child has been put in danger by the mother. I would definitely tell them.

I wonder if the posters who say it's the mothers choice would take the same attitude if she was leaving him home alone or doing something else that put him in danger.

socksandpants · 17/01/2018 12:04

MynewnameisKy I agree. This isn't lying about your child's age to get free admission or something, this is putting your child in danger for unnecessary and selfish reasons. The mother only had to wait a few months. I agree with the pp who said it was for fb likes. She obviously liked the idea of the activity without caring about the dangers.

socksandpants · 17/01/2018 12:05

And for those saying "self righteous busybody" and "tittle tattle", grow up! Are you annoyed because you lie about your child and wouldn't want to be reported?

MynewnameisKy · 17/01/2018 12:08

While it is because of insurance that makes it sound a bit "jobsworth" it's really because it's so dangerous that insurance won't cover it.

touchTypist · 17/01/2018 13:10

@socksandpants

Surely you understand the difference between schools and riding stables. Besides which, you clearly didn't read any of the link you posted.

Parents are not obliged to provide a long BC and it's against a 'code of conduct' ie. not legally enforceable and I know of several Indy schools who do "require" the long BC. This is entirely different to a riding centre not being allowed to ask which is nonsense.

"Are you annoyed because you lie about your child and wouldn't want to be reported?"

I suspect that that's part of it. It's always infuriating when someone interferes or "reports you".

Hissy · 17/01/2018 13:20

Surely the riding school can say that unless the parent can show proof of age - long/short version of BC, or Red Book (do they still have those?)/ passport etc then there are no lessons.

notapizzaeater · 17/01/2018 14:46

You did the right thing, it's not her decision to make, whilst she's happy risking her child the owners haven't had the choice because she's lied.

picklemepopcorn · 17/01/2018 14:48

@Cherrycokewinning , NHS will treat, but the ongoing costs of looking after a disabled child, should that happen, are crippling. Many parents of such children struggle to work, respite is hard to come by. Families with disability are more likely to live in poverty as a result.

Obviously, that is a worst case scenario, but that is what insurance is for. A child under three is not covered. A child over three is.

That said, there is the whole compensation/personal injury stuff that i can't pick apart.

lalalalyra · 17/01/2018 14:52

The issue with schools is that parents are not obliged to give their places of birth etc to them and there was a question if it could be got around by insisting on long birth certificates.

The riding school isn't a school so isn't tied by those rules.

MipMipMip · 26/01/2018 10:46

Can you share what happened in the end OP?

Idontdowindows · 26/01/2018 10:55

I would say something, even if just to mitigate the risk that they would not be covered on their insurance under some due dilligence clause.

PiffleandWiffle · 26/01/2018 11:09

It says here school's can't ask to see one, so why should a riding school?

And parents don't have to show it - but then the kid doesn't get to go riding - simple!!

Jimbokeny · 06/12/2018 22:35

My son is 3 yrs and 3 months and still very behind in his speech and understanding. He is attending normal nursery twice a week and a special nursey where he is getting help with his speech and social skills. I am still worried if he will be ready for reception school next year in September. They have said that he will need a 1:1. Am just so confused if he will ever be like other kids able to communicate and be independent. Most kids of his age are fully potty trained and he is not yet. The paediatrician in his first meeting said that he might be autistic. But he has good eye contact, he can count one to 10 and sometimes to 20. He can say abc alphabets to z. But he doesn’t point with his fingers or wave goodbye. Sometimes it is hard to get his attention when you call his name. His sister is 7yrs old. I just wonder when my son will be okay? Should I be very worried?

picklemebaubles · 06/12/2018 22:39

Hi Jimbokeny,

People won't see your post here, on the end of a long one about a riding stables. You need to post again, either in chat or school or SEN sections. That way more helpful people will be able to see it.

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