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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu? Driving issue

43 replies

Mrsweasley123 · 13/01/2018 17:43

Husband has his work Christmas do tonight, given the date he has known about it for some time. He said he had a lift sorted there and back so I wouldn't have to go out with the two kids.
This morning he announced he needs to sort a lift to a town (35 minutes from home roughly) to get a lift to the event, so I said don't worry I will drive you to the event (15 minutes away). He said great, thanks all sorted.

I have only recently passed my driving test and am still not the most confident driver, but event is on my route to work so I know it well,

A few hours later he states actually can I take him to said town as he wants to get the train with his mates. I pointed out that this was a) a massive waste of money (extra petrol and train ticket) b) will need to leave an hour earlier so right in the middle of kids dinner and c) I've never driven to said town before and it involves using a motorway which I'm not confident with, so would rather not do this given I'll have the kids in the car on the way back.

Apparently I am ruining his evening by making a fuss and I already said I'd give him a lift so might as well take him to the town.

He has stormed off in his car to drive to the train station meaning I will now have to drive him to the town anyway tomorrow to pick his car up.

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheQueenOfWands · 13/01/2018 17:44

He is.

It's mid-January. Christmas is so over.

ButteredScone · 13/01/2018 17:46

He is. This should all have been discussed much earlier.

Original poster
Mrsweasley123 · 13/01/2018 17:47

Thankyou! Yeah I think given he had already said he had lifts sorted it was a bit of a piss take anyway.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 13/01/2018 17:47

Drive him to train station tomorrow and he can get train to get car

But in all honesty once you can drive you should be able to drive

19lottie82 · 13/01/2018 17:48

It's mid-January. Christmas is so over.

Plenty of companies have their Christmas nights out in January. It’s quieter and cheaper.

OPs DH is still being a dick though.

gamerchick · 13/01/2018 17:48

As a pretty new driver myself who hates the fast roads at present... he is! Grin experienced and none drivers don’t understand that though. My husband is letting me take my own pace at pushing myself though and if he stropped about like that I would let him do what yours has done. You way made more sense anyway fuel and time wise.

Gingersstuff · 13/01/2018 17:49

He wants to get the train with his mates?? Why? Is he 12?
He should be grateful he's getting a lift, never mind having a tantrum about it. He's being a bellend.

Fattymcfaterson · 13/01/2018 17:50

But in all honesty once you can drive you should be able to drive

This

whifflesqueak · 13/01/2018 17:50

queenofwands some businesses can’t take the time off during the festive period to put on a party. It’s traditional in my trade (pubs) to hold the staff party in January.

BritInUS1 · 13/01/2018 17:52

I think YABU if you have passed your test you should be able to drive into a town and on a motorway. If you can't have you considered doing some extra lessons, post test you can get lessons on the motorway

Weezol · 13/01/2018 17:54

He's taking the piss. He could well be over the drink drive limit tomorrow morning so needs to leave the car where it is.

If not over the limit, is there a bus or taxi service he could use tomorrow to pick his car up?

It's a mess of his own making. Let him sort it out himself so he doesn't do this again.

Bobbiepin · 13/01/2018 18:03

He is. If he had sorted a lift that means you don't need to drive. Let the man child get a taxi to pick uo his car tomorrow.

sonlypuppyfat · 13/01/2018 18:08

I've been driving 35 years and I hate driving on motorways, and there's no way I'd do it just to do some twat a favour

Original poster
Mrsweasley123 · 13/01/2018 18:12

I get what you're saying about being able to drive so understand I am being unreasonable about that and I am planning on having some motorway lessons.

Its also that it's just a bloody inconvenience having to drive 20 minutes further away than the actual event so he can get the train (so an hour round trip for me) when I could literally pop down the road drop him off and come home, given I hadn't been planning on driving anywhere

OP posts:
diddl · 13/01/2018 18:21

Now I have to say that I love train travel.

But, 15 mins in the car door to door & it's easier for the driver-and the kids!

Of course he should do that.

Don't you do motorway driving as part of lessons?

Bringmewineandcake · 13/01/2018 18:21

Definitely him. I wouldn’t want to do an unfamiliar route at night with my kids in the back either.

Time40 · 13/01/2018 18:34

*But in all honesty once you can drive you should be able to drive

This*

No. Not "this". Not "this" at all. Everyone reacts differently to driving. Some people are confident fairly quickly. Others take longer to become comfortable with driving on motorways. For a new driver, driving on a motorway at night can be terrifying.

Quartz2208 · 13/01/2018 18:34

he wanted you to drive a further 20 minutes so he could meet his mates - I agree is he 12

Driving him to the event would be fine

And who organizes a lift from a place further out than the event. Has he never heard of Uber/taxis?

Idontdowindows · 13/01/2018 18:34

I'm an experienced driver and I'm saying he's unreasonable. He's putting you out by making you drive longer, on an unfamiliar road, when you could be there and back for half an hour.

I wouldn't even drive him to his car tomorrow, let him find a lift to pick it up himself.

Time40 · 13/01/2018 18:35

Don't you do motorway driving as part of lessons?

Actually, no. You're not allowed on them as a learner.

diddl · 13/01/2018 18:48

I wondered if it was still that.

Here (Germany) you have to do a certain amount of hours of motorway, night & country rd driving to be eligible to take test.

gamerchick · 13/01/2018 18:51

I think they’ve changed it to include motorways in lessons or they were talking about it? I’m planning on doing a pass plus course OP, maybe that’ll help you as well for confidence?

Jigglytuff · 13/01/2018 18:55

What? You offered to drive him to the Christmas party but he turned you down and now he wants you to drive him somewhere else? Jog on!

RadioGaGoo · 13/01/2018 19:06

Maybe going on the motorway in the dark with kids in the back is not the best way for a just passed person to practice. You don't go on a motorway before you pass your test. OP sounds sensible.

BakedBeans47 · 13/01/2018 19:08

YANBU

He sounds like a plonker.

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