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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder WTF the world is coming to....

33 replies

MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 13:45

Someone ranting about her (very gorgeous) DD being let down by a make up artist on the day of her baby shower.

I just .. I am speechless Shock.

I can’t bear baby showers and I didn’t realise you got your make up done for it.

Women at work yday showing me her DD wedding photos then said that the photographer was also the official pregnancy photographer and will be the “cake smash” photographer on baby’s 1st bday next month (wtf is that?!).

I know it’s each to their own and no one is hurting anyone but why are we such a self/social media obsessed society?

OP posts:
TheStoic · 13/01/2018 13:47

I don’t think it hurts anyone. We need to take our happiness where we can.

Bellamuerte · 13/01/2018 13:51

I didn't even have a makeup artist on my wedding day. And baby showers always strike me as "gift-grabbing". People are very self obsessed! (and I'm a miser so wouldn't spend money on that sort of thing)

MargotMoon · 13/01/2018 13:52

"Official pregnancy photographer"! 😂
Who does she think she is, Beyoncé? Actually she's probably to blame but that woman's DD is a dim-witted bitch for going along with it.

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 15:00

Does “pregnancy photographer” include the birth though and what is a cake smash?!

OP posts:
TheQueenOfWands · 13/01/2018 15:02

A cake smash is a baby smashing up a cake and mixing it with their drool, snot and random bits of dirt.

It's supposed to be cute.

Bluntness100 · 13/01/2018 15:03

I think cake Smash is what it says on the tin. You smash a cake up. Not sure though as can't see the attraction in that.

LyraPotter · 13/01/2018 15:03

I think it's a bit weird to be so judgmental about something that doesn't really have anything to do with you. If you don't like baby showers don't have one - just don't expect everyone to have the same views you do.

DancesWithOtters · 13/01/2018 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lalalalyra · 13/01/2018 15:06

Hmm I'm on the fence a bit with the make up one. I have a girl who does my make up for pretty much every event I go too. She doesn't charge a lot (£15 at most) and I am truly shit at make-up. I'd be pretty upset if I booked her for something and she didn't turn up.

Cake smashes annoy me though. Such a waste of food. And I don't see what is cute about photos of a small child destroying a cake.

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 15:09

I think it's a bit weird to be so judgmental about something that doesn't really have anything to do with you. If you don't like baby showers don't have one - just don't expect everyone to have the same views you do.*

I knew it wouldn’t be long before this was trotted out Grin - it’s a chat forum - and clearly no not everyone has the same views as me

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 15:10

*Highlight fail.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 13/01/2018 15:11

The whole make up artist thing astonishes me. I know that when my friends all started getting married, most did their own make up. Thrn more recently I know a lot have had someone in to do it (fair enough, especially if you don't wear make up normally, or want to reduce stress - it's a once in a lifetime thing after all...).
Then I heard of girls getting make up done for prom...again ok a big deal, one off etc.

However local to me it seems like half the girls in their 20s get their make up done any time they have a big night out. There are constant posts of 'any MUAs who can do my makeup Fri night before X' or 'MUA needed urgently, I'm going to Y tomorrow'. So getting it done for a baby shower doesn't surprise me.

I guess having your make up done immediately post birth for those first baby photos will be the next thing!

CuppaSarah · 13/01/2018 15:12

That's amazing! To be fair, I didn't get the fabled pregnancy glow either. Maybe I should have hired one for mine! Grin

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 15:14

Baby shower is grabby (and I hate buying gifts before a child is born as it feels like tempting fate) and to have your make up done for it is just ridiculous IMO (wedding is a bit different) and the only reason for it is to plaster the photos all over social media.

OP posts:
Worldsworstcook · 13/01/2018 15:14

Facebook. Everything's so judged. And everyone too. Compare, compare, feel inferior.

usedtogotomars · 13/01/2018 15:15

But if a melodramatic title.

I’ve not had a baby shower or a professional makeup artist ever but it doesn’t mean people can’t be annoyed when they’d looked forward to something and been let down. Or are people only allowed to be annoyed about that when you approve of it?

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 15:16

Worldsworst YY it’s so “look at me!”

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 13/01/2018 15:16

It all sounds narcissistic and trashy. Glad nobody I know does that stuff.

Laiste · 13/01/2018 15:23

Fake Book ect has made a lot of people turn their lives into something like an episode in a soap opera. It's just the way things seem to be at the moment.

RedForFilth · 13/01/2018 15:23

I don't do baby showers. I don't know if it's because I've had losses but I feel it's tempting fate and can be grabby. My "mum" friends are all having them for their second babies! I've politely declined them all, I work many weekends so luckily couldn't go anyway! I prefer to get a gift once the baby is born and can't afford both.
I've heard of a cake smash on the internet but don't know anyone who has had one. I don't like the principle because it's just a waste of food!
As for the makeup artist/photographer I wouldn't have them myself but obviously some people like them. Some women feel awful during pregnancy so having their makeup done might cheer them up. I don't see having your makeup done as any different to a spa treatment although I've never had my makeup done by anyone other than myself.
I should say I'm too poor for any of the above anyway so that could be a reason I don't really get it?

Original poster
MrsMaxwell · 13/01/2018 15:29

Is it also the influence of those programmes about the rich wives who sit around wearing massive diamonds planning “events”...?

OP posts:
fluffybumthecat · 13/01/2018 15:32

OP with you - wtaf?!!

Cake smash sounds revolting - why would you want to replicate every snot fest with food for an official photographer?!

What a waste of cake!

and as for wedding makeup etc - seriously, your future intended husband or wife fell in love with you, not some weird over-made up version!

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/01/2018 15:39

I agree. It’s strange. Different world. Not me at all.

dingdongdigeridoo · 13/01/2018 15:41

Yeah, it's tiresome and smacks of one-upmanship, but you don't have to participate. Just roll your eyes and move on.

I used to work with someone who was planning their 'perfect' wedding. They were in tears one day because the hairdresser they wanted wasn't available, and apparently this would wreck the whole day. I felt pity for her more than anything. How sad must your life be to be that obsessive?

Laiste · 13/01/2018 15:42

Mrs i think media plays a massive part in 'who we think we are' today.

In the past the general populous looked at the rich/famous/beautiful and their lives splashed around for all to see and were star struck. These people were up on a pedestal. Nowadays the feeling is more - wow look at that - we can be 'just like them'. Everybody is special ect.

Good thing? Bad thing? Don't know.

I do know that when i hear about my friends kids (teens/20s) dishing out ALL the details of their lives across FB i wonder what became of a bit of privacy. It's like a game ... ooh here's so and so together Happy Forever, oh he's cheated on her, here's another - this is THE ONE! Oh he's emigrated. Ooops here's a baby bump we're all so happy it's so speshul, oh no the fathers fucked off sad faces all round ..... i mean - good god. Stop! It's not bloody east enders!