To absolutely hate soft play (light hearted)

[Nicpem1982]

I'm currently sat in a daft play center and dd is happily running around.

But God these places are horrible a random child has drank my dds drink whilst I've not been paying attention when I noticed and tried to stop her she's started to cry and her mom just said oh she is naughty and walked off so I've paid 1.45 for no apple juice for my dd yes I should have been paying better attention but I've been on my phone and keeping an eye on dd and not the drinks

The accousitics in here are so bad really echoey it's a brand new center and the kids seem happy enough but every parent in here looks fed up

What are your soft play pet hates

Soft not daft

Everybody hates softplay. It's the seventh circle of hell.

Then why do we do it

Fuck that kid who drunk your juice!!!!!!

Soft play is shit. Go hide in the ball pit until your hell is over.

Dear god yes I hate them and avoid them at all costs. I hate massive groups of women bringing hundreds of children all together (childminders quite often) and then just ignoring them while they sit around having a gossip.

One time I was in soft play with my DDs there was a bare bottomed 1ish year old crawling around. I discovered his nappy in the ball pit, member of staff lifted the baby up and was asking who the parents were, they were found about 5 mins later completely out of sight and hearing of the child

Why we go to soft play twice is a conundrum being puzzled over by the planets most brilliant minds. No one knows, it’s up there with how did Noel Evans get on telly.

I love soft play.

But now DD is 6 I can't pretend I'm on it to look after her, so its obvious I'm a 45 year old woman who just likes crawling about in tunnels and slides

Fuck the crappy cafe IMO, go and join in while your DD is little

Every adult hates soft play. Its sucks.
We avoided as much as possible (only went for parties) and now my two are old enough to not want to go 🎉.

It's always freezing and smells vaguely of piss, and that's before you add the horror that is other people's children.

Big ones are horrible. If you have kids under school age try to find a small one. I spent much of my 2nd mat leave in a small play cafe where I dozed on a sofa with baby dd and 3yo could play by himself and usually only a couple other kids. I learnt which times and days to avoid. Bliss!

I can't stand it, my twins are 22 months and it's sooo hard to keep an eye on both of them as they always fuck off in different directions and find the one dangerous thing to do. It's my idea of hell and I always end up leaving feeling very flustered and judged.

I’m also sat in a soft play as we speak. It’s awesome!

But then this is a super good one. It’s strictly under 5s only, is small enough that you can see every element of the play area without leaving your table, but also big enough to keep my 4yr old and 2.5yr old happy. And currently it’s just me and my two DCs plus two other children so it’s really quiet. I’ve got a latte and my phone and I’m thinking this is a total parenting win.

Ugh. I can tolerate our local soft play (which is quite small and has good cake) in small doses at off peak times. I went once in the school holidays and learned from that mistake...

This should not be a light hearted thread! Soft play is like hell on Earth, designed to take us parents to the edge....

I don’t like random dc, taking my food. I mean hey child I don’t know you get your own snacks!

I don’t like other babies biting mine, no reason said child just walked up to my ds and bit him! Mother said not a word, no apology nothing.

When you walk in liquid.

I keep telling myself - it's just a bit of split squash. Not urine or vomit

🤢🤢

The random liquid is the worst

Everybody hates softplay. It's the seventh circle of hell

I came on to write this exact comment! It’s hideous, and the biggest problem is parents who see it as a babysitter and don’t look up once while their child is tearing around wrecking everyone else’s time. Ugh.

Ugh, the liquid in the ball pool, just eurgh.
I still have nightmares about it and Dd is 16.

A few people have mentioned some of this- but you need some boundaries:

• a small enough place that you can pretty much see the whole thing from one spot
• never in the school holidays
• quite good to go with someone so playmate/ ally for your child when the aforementioned childminders army of kids try to monopolise the whole thing
• somewhere with coffee
• accept that your kids will not be eating particularly healthy food at these places, they will see someone else’s junk food and you won’t hear the end of it
• if like me you can’t stand small talk, avoid eye contact with other parents

My DG's love softplay. It's become something that they associate with me because they love it so I take them occasionally. That said, the big, noisy ones drive me nuts. Screaming children drive me nuts. I practically stand up and applaud if I see an adult monitoring a child's behaviour. But the children love it so I suck it up. They won't be small enough for it for much longer. Whooppee!! Antidote to the 'drinking juice' situation - boy and his friend (aged about 9) got rough, running, knocking over several little ones. Mum - I think it was Mum - came striding over, grabbed boy by the arm as soon as she could get his attention and froggmarched him out of the place. I could hear her muttering 'I told you .......'. Returned a few minutes later, stood with them by the entrance to the cage thingy and asked him to point out the children he'd knocked over. Asked those children, including my DGS to take her to their Mummy. Came over to each one, including me, and stood by while the boy and his friend apologised to child and their parent/caretaker. To be fair it seemed to be a genuine, heartfelt apology too. No apparent 'attitude'. Went off saying to them, 'Now remember, we won't be back for at least a month so don't bother asking until I suggest it.' Clearly a serial offender, but I was truly impressed.

DH owns a soft play
I hate it

I don't actually mind soft play

I don't go on myself but it's the one place I can let ds1 loose and know he'll pretty much be safe (I do keep an eye on him).

But yy to them always being bloody freezing.

I went to one mistakenly on an inset day when the summer hols ended. Arrived towards the end of the day, woman was checking out as I was checking in. She joked with a staff member that she couldn't believe she'd been there 6 hours. SIX FUCKING HOURS PEOPLE.

The soft play we go to isn't cold, it's actually boiling! It's a very small one built into a cafe with a glass roof and lots of windows, even in winter you just cook!

I get a mean sort of pleasure when the asshole parents who let their pubescent over-5s go in and bulldoze the younger kids get told to leave by staff. "James! Lucy! The mean lady says we have to go! I know, it's awful, I haven't even finished my latte!"

Six hours! Oh my god