To absolutely hate soft play (light hearted)

[Nicpem1982]

I'm currently sat in a daft play center and dd is happily running around.

But God these places are horrible a random child has drank my dds drink whilst I've not been paying attention when I noticed and tried to stop her she's started to cry and her mom just said oh she is naughty and walked off so I've paid 1.45 for no apple juice for my dd yes I should have been paying better attention but I've been on my phone and keeping an eye on dd and not the drinks

The accousitics in here are so bad really echoey it's a brand new center and the kids seem happy enough but every parent in here looks fed up

What are your soft play pet hates

It depends on the soft play for me. We have a few choices near us and I never minded the smaller ones. You could easily watch your child while sitting down and they are quiet enough during school time so perfect for under 5s. Ours only charges £2 as well at these times. Will be happy to take ds2 there when he is old enough while ds1 is at school.

It's when they are old enough to want the massive soft play, the soft play you have to go on, the soft play busy with screaming hyper children at weekends and half term that you die a little inside at.

We go because it knackers them out and there are precious few places you can let kids run like loons in the winter

Dd isn't quite old enough to go completely free range yet so I look on envy at the parents who can sit with a drink whilst the kids run off!

I look on envy at the parents who can sit with a drink whilst the kids run off!

I used to glare enviously at those parents too. It’s only recently that I have become one of them. Yippee! It’ll happen.

Now I smile sympathetically/smugly as I watch parents of unsteady toddlers crawling miserably through the play area behind their DC.

Thank heavens mine are past the daft play age (very apt typo!) but I used to hate:
The noise
The parents who don’t supervise
The rough unruly kids, often too old to be in there
Not being allowed to take your own food and drinks, even though you’ve paid quite a lot of money to get in
The dirt - the play equipment always looks greasy and grimy
Just about everything in fact!

It's considered a win-win in the LooieCatz household.

I need some rest. I get to sit with a cup of tea and read almost uninterrupted for up to three hours.

Little LooieCatz needs to burn off energy. He gets to do the wall of death routine almost uninterrupted for up to three hours.

We go home each rested and content in our own way.

He has just got to the stage where not only am I not required in the play frame, should I enter I am under strict instructions not to give any indication that Little LooieCatz is known to me. I am permitted to go down the big slide but I must be at least 6' in front of behind Little LooieCatz at all times, so that no one knows we're together.

When my pfb was little, it was th big kids crashing about I hated. Now, I hate all the delicate pfb’s babies cluttering up the place where I take my dc to to let off steam!
And shit tea.

This thread is bringing back so many memories! Fortunately my DCs are teenagers now so far too big for soft play but reading all of your descriptions of the noise, smell, rough children, lazy adults etc etc just brings it all flooding back.

When DD was 2 she had a major tantrum at the top of the slide. She was scared to go down by herself but didn't want any help either. Picture me crouching down at the top of the slide, no head room for adults, trying to help her decide whether she was going to slide or not. She did in the end but we were up there about 30 mins! That was 12 years ago and it's still so vivid. Scarred for life!

Hellish isn't it. I've had my kids bitten, shoved, hit...Ive also been followed outside when leaving by dad of one child who squared up to me about an altercation my child had with theirs apparently. That was scary..

How do people even manage to get a coffee and cake?! I went last weekend (there's mistake no 1), and spent the entire time crawling behind my 16 mo old, dragging him up the stairs (he likes slides but the stairs are not built so that 16mo olds can walk up), and fending off an army of 5y olds on a sugar high who were pinballing off him. Perhaps I need to wait until he's 5 and then I can enjoy my coffee in peace while he is terrorizing 16mo olds all over the place?

It’s great for entertaining the kids when you’re out of energy/ideas but I also hate them as they’re often smelly, so ridiculously noisy and too cold or too hot with uncomfortable chairs. However if you find one with decent cake, sofas and your kids are old enough to not need constant close proximity supervision they’re a good way of getting to have decent chats with friends.

The tea and coffee is so bad in these places. Dd was at a party at a soft play party over the weekend and the food was God awful

I don't mind the couple of little soft play places in garden centres near us where its quiet and they are not actually designed with drops everywhere that you cant dart round to faster than a toddler... But i am a miserable sod as I hate playgrounds too. Once she who has no fear is old enough to not kill herself dropping out of the too large for her climbing frame it might be a bit easier but there are all my friends standing chatting by the swings which we have already done, got bored of, done the trampoline thing, back to the swing, the climbing frame... I can do 45 minutes at a push in playground with a promise of cake at the end of it.

Our one is next to a massive supermarket and you see the staff bringing in bags of the cheapest value brand bread, chips and milk and then sell them on as sandwiches and chips at ridiculous prices.

Luckily my kids are too big for them now but oh how I hated this particular one, try go on a rainy saturday when there are about 8 parties going on at the same time

Ball pit. Nappyless toddler with wipe. Toddler wipes his own bum with wipe. Then uses same wipe to ‘clean’ surrounding area

I don't mind it tbh but my dc are old enough to play without much supervision (though I do keep my eyes on them, obvs) and to not get trampled on. They don't go into the younger children's areas and they don't run amok. I sit and have a brew (though the tea is always minging) and they leave me alone for a while.
If I go, I go first thing, just as the doors are opening. The other best time to go is when it's boiling hot outside and everyone else is at the park or beach or swimming pool so we're almost alone in a lovely air-conditioned building. The ones I go to don't have a ball pit.

I went three or four times, and only ever for parties.

On the first visit, I saw a toddler remove a nappy in the ball pit, poo flying. Parent fished out poo, centre saw no need for further action. It told me all I needed to know about the fine film of unspeakables on every piece of equipment in there. At least outdoors the rain washes it off and it is never quite so packed.

Nope nope nope. We don't do softplay. I'm not a hygiene freak, but they make me feel a bit ill.

I hate soft play and not in a light hearted kind of way. We avoid at all costs. I figure I didn’t go to soft play when I was younger so my kids will be ok.

Let’s be honest...we love our children but we don’t really love anybody else’s....especially not in soft play

What I hate most is when they design them really badly (almost always) so that you can't see the children from the seating area. They should always be divided in half lengthways by glass/netting withchildren kn one side andseating on the other so that you can actually keep and eye on them without getting up and yelling their name a thousand times every five minutes. They should also provide complimentary ear plugs.

Oh god the noise!

My DC have finally graduated to the point of not needing me to come in (aged 5 and 3). It is my reward for 4.5 years of crawling round the bloody things helping a wobbly toddler determined to do everything. I sit with a cup of tea and try to get five minutes of peace in between DC coming out to say they want a Slushie/giant cookie/crisps/X hit me/Y pushed me/I want your phone (no, sod off, I paid you into here so you could exercise yourself while it pours with rain outside, there is no way you are sitting down if I can help it!).

The overwhelming stench of cheesy feet. 🤢
The overpriced, horrid food. Luckily, ours was next to a supermarket so I'd buy food and drink from there and sneakily give it to child.
Slow till service, queueing out of the door in the pissing rain.
Playing "guess the fluid" in the ball pit.
The feral fagins children (aka childminder mindees) running and diving into the babies section.....whilst your baby is in the baby ball pit.
When your kids get older, you can sit with coffee and magazines. Until kid decides they want to keep coming back, sitting next to you and whittering on. Hey kid, I paid £10 for 2 hours, so Play godammit.
So so so glad I no longer have to go there. Dont miss the playground in the winter (or summer) either. 😅

I don't mind them. They all have their own faults. The one we go to is small, cheaper to get into and cheaper food but its bloody freezing. There is a bigger one at the other end of town more suitable for ds but is expensive and always mobbed

I hated the piss covered toilets and the greasy layer on the patio tables that were in the seating for parents oh and the stamped in chicken nuggets in the carpets. My kids loved it though.