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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brother in law slapped my derrière

52 replies

Debbie7612 · 30/12/2017 18:09

First time, I ignored it. Second time, yesterday, I walked past and he’s sat on the couch, said hi, leaned forward and done it again.

I’m very confused. We are quite friendly and he’s a nice boy but I told him off. Am I being unreasonable? Wtf is he about does he not know boundaries or what?

OP posts:
LovingLola · 30/12/2017 18:09

How old is he???
And tell him never to do it again.

pandarific · 30/12/2017 18:10

What the fuck? That’s bizarre behaviour! Does he fancy you or something?

MyYoniFromHull · 30/12/2017 18:11

Are you in a carry on film from the 70s?

Did you not slap him back?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 30/12/2017 18:11

Call him out on it. Very loudly.

Original poster
Debbie7612 · 30/12/2017 18:13

He’s 34. I told him that hurt and not to do it again. I’m embarrassed for myself

OP posts:
CauliflowerSqueeze · 30/12/2017 18:13

Are you in a carry on film from the 70s?

Exactly!!! Ooooooh Matron??!

iklboo · 30/12/2017 18:14

34? I'd tell him if he did it again I'd snap his hand off at the wrist.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 30/12/2017 18:14

He’s not a boy then. 34.

Tell him if he does it again you’ll kick his bollocks up his throat.

Original poster
Debbie7612 · 30/12/2017 18:15

I once slapped a girlfriend on the bum when we were all a big tipsy. I don’t fancy her. I just thought she was being cute trying to twerk. So I don’t know. I think not???. He’s got a girlfriend.

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 30/12/2017 18:16

Yanbu,he should not be doing that.
How old is he?you say he is a nice boy?
At any age its unacceptable so you were right to tell him off.

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2017 18:16

No point in overthinking it

He did it and you told him off

If he does it again, I'd tell him to seriously fuck off.

Billben · 30/12/2017 18:24

These are the moments that I dread to be honest as my instant reaction would have been violence. From the shock of it I would have seen red straight away and would have hit him back wherever I could reach him. How disrespectful.

Beltane18 · 30/12/2017 18:25

no, I think this isn't on

I've also had a couple of female friends smack my arse when we've been out and a bit merry, but I think there's a big difference between an affectionate gesture made by a good mate and something like this.

I can't see myself making friends with a man who'd slap my arse. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite but I'm afraid that's how I feel about it.

iklboo · 30/12/2017 18:28

If he does it to you, does he do it to other women as well?

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 30/12/2017 18:30

Ehm.... yes, i have slapped very close friends on the arse. But I’ve also slept with most of them (sometimes platonically but still, we were close and they also had their hands on my arse).

But you don’t seem to have this kind of relationship, which makes this incredibly inappropriate and weird.

Tell him to not do it again and make a big ‘fuss’ (get angry, twist his wrist... whatever suits you) if he does it again?

Weezol · 30/12/2017 18:30

YANBU to tell him off. If he does it a third time, say fairly loudly so that others are aware "I have already told you not to touch my bottom. I can only assume you are either deaf or getting a cheap thrill from it. This is your final, verbal warning. Stop.".

Hissy · 30/12/2017 18:33

Tell him nothing. Knee him in the balls

See how he likes them apples

The twat

CremeFresh · 30/12/2017 18:33

If it was a one off I would tell him not to do it again and move on. If he did it again I'd be pissed off.

The reason I'd let it go if it is a one off is because ( to my eternal shame) , a senior member of staff leant over a desk to get something and I smacked her bum. I have no idea what came over me ( maybe because I used to do it to my DD when she was little ). I couldn't stop apologising .

Beltane18 · 30/12/2017 18:34

CremeFresh - NO YOU DIDN'T Shock

Lunde · 30/12/2017 18:36

WorraLiberty: He did it and you told him off

But he's done it twice now

Branleuse · 30/12/2017 18:42

ew sleazy. I hope you told him to fuck off

gillybeanz · 30/12/2017 18:42

tell his gf that will stop him, sleaze bag.

Shockers · 30/12/2017 18:43

Shout ‘Oi- not cool!’ Very loudly and give him a stern face. I have done this with satisfactory results.

Northernparent68 · 30/12/2017 18:46

What did your husband say

CremeFresh · 30/12/2017 18:46

Beltane I did Blush . I am beetroot red now just thinking about it.