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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off ExH DP buying Dandy & Beano for DS

29 replies

Offonworksdo12 · 16/12/2017 19:39

My DS is 18. I asked him the other day if he still wanted the Dandy & Beano annuals for Christmas- he’s had them & still has from since he could read. We have 2 boxes that were my Ex’s from when he was a child as well.

He replied ‘ of course- it’s tradition’

I asked him to check his Dad hadn’t bought them already (Ex & I married for 28 years & separated for 18 mths)

Ex has a new partner of 4 months.

He sent me a shitty message along the lines of - it’s my family tradition, you are no longer part of this family so I have asked new DP to get the annuals.

I just feel fucking rage

OP posts:
Doubletrouble42 · 16/12/2017 19:42

What a cock x

Jenda · 16/12/2017 19:42

Sod the annuals. Get yourself a glass of wine and celebrate not being married to such a vile man anymore!

LuluJakey1 · 16/12/2017 19:46

No YANBU. He is being pathetic with that message. But don’t react to it. Just text back something like ‘ Excellent. Didn’t want DS to miss out. Thanks so much for organising that, ‘ as if he has done you a favour. He’s being a twat. Pour yourself a G and T. You are well rid.

SparklyMagpie · 16/12/2017 19:51

I'd reply "ooh lovely ,he can keep those ones at yours then"

I dread all this shit to come with my ex but he's in a new house with his girlfriend now so can keep all his stuff there...then again my son is a toddler so no idea it your son stays at his dad's?

Anyway I'd be pissed off but thankful I'm no longer with him. Get a glass of something lovely OP :)

SparklyMagpie · 16/12/2017 19:52

Actually I like *LuluJakey1's" idea

If you are going to reply,make out it's done you a massive favour,I'm sure he'll like that Wink

TacoFlavouredKisses · 16/12/2017 19:53

Don't dignify it with a response. Kick back and thank your lucky stars that you're rid of him.

I pity the woman he has running about doing his Christmas shopping for him after only four months together.

YouBetterWORK · 16/12/2017 19:58

What a bellend! Agree with Lulu, I would probably be extra goady and go in there with a "good stuff, glad to hear you're pulling your weight and taking some responsibility over arranging things for Xmas, and not leaving me to sort it all out. Much appreciated" with a big smiley face thrown in.

ElephantsandTigers · 16/12/2017 20:04

I'm embarrassed for him that he can't, won't, go to the shop for his kids and gets his new GF to get them.

Notevilstepmother · 16/12/2017 20:08

What a twat. I’m with Lulu, her message will annoy him.

Notevilstepmother · 16/12/2017 20:10

Btw, don’t blame her, I’m a step mum, I’d be annoyed if I found I’d been dragged into childish stuff like this. He is probably using her name in a further attempt to wind you up. Don’t let him.

Stormwhale · 16/12/2017 20:11

Wow, what a dick. I actually wouldn't even reply. It is clearly him wanting to piss you off and get a response. I wouldn't bother. I would however tell my adult son that I wouldn't be the one getting it as his father has been abusive over it. He's an adult, old enough to know how his father behaves and make an adult decision over whether that is acceptable to him.

xmasgrinch · 16/12/2017 20:12

His poor new partner - being instructed to buy annuals for an 18 yr old she doesn't know v well. Imagine her AIBU!

Ahhh celebrate - you're free of the knobhead! Onwards and upwards!

LouHotel · 16/12/2017 20:16

Send him a list of things you would like new gf to pick up for the kids aswell.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/12/2017 20:18

Definitely go with faux happiness.

How much dripping sarcasm you use depends. Grin

SukiTheDog · 16/12/2017 20:20

🍷🍷🍷 He's a git. You’re lucky to be with him now. Men move in quickly and forget all the wonderful times in their “other life”.

RJnomore1 · 16/12/2017 20:20

Apart from sending the gf what's the issue here?

HipNewName · 16/12/2017 20:21

Wow, well done for getting your ex out of your life. I honestly feel a little sorry for his new partner. Your ex's tradition is to assign errands to the woman in his life.

You are so much better off without him. Plan something lovely with your son, enjoy your friends, and celebrate the fact that your life is your own.

gobster · 16/12/2017 20:21

Should reply:

Fab, glad to hear you are taking responsibility of presents finally, don’t forget you’ll need x, y and z

Whatever you do don’t rise to the dig

Blackteadrinker77 · 16/12/2017 20:29

How childish of him.

I agree with the idea of pouring yourself a drink and celebrating that you're free of him.

eggsandwich · 16/12/2017 20:36

I would send back a message, well I’m surprised as I’m sure your current partner is just passing through I wouldn’t think this qualifies her as being part of this so called family tradition.

SukiTheDog · 16/12/2017 20:37

Sorry, meant to say you’re lucky to NOT be with him.

Bluetrews25 · 16/12/2017 20:37

Do Viz do annuals?
Would that be appreciated as a new tradition from you?
(Or are they not as funny now as when I used to read it occasionally 25 years ago?)

ADishBestEatenCold · 16/12/2017 20:42

"Apart from sending the gf what's the issue here?"

You are joking, RJnomore1?

Perhaps Ex's incredible rudeness, towards a perfectly acceptable query.

Maybe Ex's nasty attempt to write OP out of 18 years of a joint tradition building for their son.

Even Ex's nasty way of writing OP out 28 years of traditions maintained during their marriage.

Or what about Ex's thoroughly wicked way of suggesting that OP is no longer part of that family ... they have (at least) a child together and, whether Ex likes it or not, OP will always be part of that family.

MentholBreeze · 16/12/2017 21:20

OP, you had an entirely reasonable question. Do you know his new partner? Do you know if he/she will realise it's an important tradition? Do you have the spare cash to get emergency versions?

If I were you, I'd have emergencies on standby to carry on the tradition in case your Exh/Exh-Dp doesn't manage to get them.

I know it doesn't matter much in the grand scheme, but 18 isn't quite an adult, and it's nice to have tradition.

RJnomore1 · 16/12/2017 21:21

No I'm not joking.

I may have missed a back story in which case sorry. But I don't know what the op and him may have said to each other in the past.

He was rude to her but he's no longer married to her and most importantly he has made sure his son has the annuals and he's thinking of him. If he hadn't got them he'd have been criticised (rightly) for that too. He's lacking in manners to op but making sure his son has what he needs.

He's a lazy git for sending the gf though.