DD and taking car to uni

[mostlikelyanunpopularviewpoint]

After being disappointed with her A Level results, my middle DD has finally got her act together and has thankfully received offers from Manchester and Kent for after her gap year is over.

We are having a bit of a disagreement over her car.

DD wants to take it and potentially rent a parking space

I think she should leave it, she won't really need it at uni and can get the train home and drive it in the long holidays. I may then use the car myself during term time as I can't afford my own car- I will also then put some money towards her insurance

She has savings to pay for her car at uni

Who is being unreasonable? Or more sensible?

I think DD is just wasting her money!

It's her money to waste and her car? Then she gets to decide.

How do you know she won't use the car? My friend had a car at university and it was bloody great.

Assuming she is 18 or over and it's her car - surely it's her choice? It appears your primary reason for wanting her to leave it with you is so you can use it as you can't afford your own car. In those circumstances I think YABU.

Mine took theirs. It is her car so she gets to choose.

It's her choice and her car.
If she leaves it fair enough but don't force her to - cars don't immediately stop being useful when you're at uni.
It will make it easier for her to visit her home town, go out and about, buy groceries, travel a bit give lifts to friends in exchange for vodka

Would you want her to leave it if you didn't want to use it?

A car is a waste at Uni, very few people had them at mine- everyone walked and took public transport. I’d encourage her to save her money and leave it.
My friend had her car with her and it was a burden, no end of people asking for lifts to the station etc when they could’ve taken the bus. It was also an albatross around her neck in terms of money; insurance, petrol, mot, servicing etc.

I took my car to uni & was always grateful to my parents that they let me. Made life so much easier & made some amazing memories driving round with my friends, taking friends to places we wouldn’t have ordinarily been able to go.

Her car, her choice. If you want to use it you should be offering to pay the full insurance and road tax, that's a much better incentive for her to consider getting on the bus.

Erm...you just want to use her car and you're pressuring her to leave it for your own convenience!

She's an adult...stop bothering her about her car ffs.

YABU - her car, her choice.
As suggested above, would you have an issue if you had your own car?

It’s hers! A car at uni was so useful - safer for nights out like the cinema, after late lectures etc. More part time job opportunities too. I think you’re being pretty mean! And - given she’s an adult and it’s her car, you can’t really stop her, can you?

I think she should leave it, she won't really need it at uni and can get the train home and drive it in the long holidays. I may then use the car myself during term time as I can't afford my own car- I will also then put some money towards her insurance

It really depends. How much will she have to pay for a parking space and how far from her halls will it be? Most unis don't allow parking around the halls and if the rented space is far away from where she's going to live it might be more hassle than it's worth.

But then it really depends on what the public transport is like where she's going to be, how much/often she likes to drink, how easy/quick it is to get back to your home town by public transport for visits, how far she will be from a decent supermarket etc.

I can see all the arguments for not taking it, but then again I don't think anyone ever regrets having use of a car. If she already owns it and plans to keep it then she's shelling out money in sunk costs anyway, so it might be cost effective in the long run for her to have it with her.

But she will also get lumbered with being a taxi service for everyone else.

You sound as though you are more motivated by wanting her car for yourself than out of any genuine concern for her though.

The cheek!!! Its her car

But do remind her, she will need to inform her insurers that it will be kept at a new address and the likely cost increase

If it stays you should more than just some insurance and petrol.
There’s also road tax at your expense (she could sorn the car). As well as running costs including repairs.

But it’s her car. If she wants to take it, there’s nothing you can do.

She might end up taxiing everyone else about so might change her mind after a term.

God, don't take it to Manchester!!

There's absolutely no need to have one there as the public transport is excellent and she'll never be far from a supermarket.

Plus, if it's anything like when I was there, if she lives in a traditional 'student area' it will be broken into a minimum of once a term, even if there's nothing at all in it. People will snap off the wing mirrors drunkenly just because, and it will probably also get keyed.

Admittedly I was there during the 'golden era of fallowfield' (2006-2010) when House parties were rife but there was a lot of tension between locals and students and cars were a very easy target. Especially if it looked like 'mummy and daddy' might have paid for them.

If she takes her car to uni she will soon find out whether it was a good idea or not. You may find it back sitting at home.
She has to learn her own way.

Although I've just seen that you plan to use her car - at that age, that would have been reason enough for me to take it with me.

I don't think you can expect to use it unless you rent it from your daughter and pay her a decent whack towards it

It belongs to her. You have suggested an option, now it is in her hands. You are being totally unreasonable to have any expectations. I know my son used his car all of the time while he was a student.

I went to uni somewhere with excellent public transport, but I got use of a car for my final year and it was fantastic. Managed to do tons more stuff on the weekends than I had for the other two years. There's not much point in having a car and keeping it for use a few months of the year. She may as well sell it and have the cash. If someone's going to have a car then they should take advantage of the freedom and convenience it can provide.

It's a bit worrying though that your student daughter who's presumably not even been 18 for long has enough money and savings for a car, but you can't afford one.

I can see both sides, and I think who originally bought the car is a factor.

If your DD bought it with money she earned herself, then I really do think you need to let her make her own decision. As PPs have said, she may change her mind anyway.

But if you bought the car for her...hmmm, then I'm not so sure. A car is a big investment for you to have made (especially if you can't afford your own) and I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to have some say in it, even though at 18 she is technically an adult. In this case I would be trying to find a compromise. If she is going to be coming home for odd weekend during term times, perhaps she could take the car back with her sometimes and return it on her next visit.

You don't need a car at the Uni. If you paid for it and are still paying the insurance, then this is yours and ask her to leave it home. Else, stop paying for these things and any further maintenance. Once it gets too expensive to maintain she will bring it home.

A car is handy at Kent as while public transport is good to and from Canterbury from the uni, it doesn't run late to places like Whitstable and Margate, which are great for live music, restaurants and bars. Being deemed the designated driver all the time will prob get on her nerves by the end of the first term to be honest.