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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask what happens when you die?

433 replies

TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich · 11/12/2017 22:58

... or more accurately, what you think happens?

I really really don't want to die (a good thing I guess! As I wasn't too bothered either way as a moody teen, but now I love life most of the time and want to hang around).

It's comforting to think there's a heaven, but I don't believe there is (and I'd probably get bored if I had to stay there for EVER). But when u die - is that it? Game over ? I'm not too keen on that idea either.

What do you think happens? and what would you like to think happens? Hmm

OP posts:
NapQueen · 11/12/2017 23:00

I think life ends and you dont 'hate it' because you are not alive and so incapabale of that emotion. And it is the end. No afterlife. Death doesnt scare me.

Dying on the other hand terrifies me. The suffering or watchig those you love suffer. Hell on earth.

pinkdelight · 11/12/2017 23:03

Nothing. There's some good books on death itself, in particular How We Die. The gist generally though is to focus on living.

usernameinfinito · 11/12/2017 23:09

What napqueen said.

Ellisandra · 11/12/2017 23:12

Well, you're gone so that's it - you don't know. All good.

I quite like knowing that my ashes will nourish the soil and plants and I'll become part of that cycle. Not in a "living on" way really just - it's nice and neat and practical. I've talked to my 8yo about how we all become part of nature and in that sense remain and are all around.

gamerchick · 11/12/2017 23:13

I watched a thing once that took us through the physical act of dying. Apparently when death is imminent the brain releases a chemical to calm us and take away fear.

I like to think that is true.

littlepeas · 11/12/2017 23:16

I think it's like before you were born - oblivion - like a really deep, dreamless sleep from which you never wake. In my more woo moments I wonder about reincarnation and whether the particular things you are drawn to in life are linked to a past life, but I don't really believe it.

pallisers · 11/12/2017 23:16

Well you didn't miss life before you were born so you probably won't miss life after you are dead.

christmasmum · 11/12/2017 23:16

I think you feel exactly the same as you did before you were born. You come from nothing and you go to nothing and the fun bit is what you do with your multi-billion to one chance of life in the middle.

liz70 · 11/12/2017 23:16

We return to our non physical spirit form, just as we were before.

christmasmum · 11/12/2017 23:16

x-post!

LadyLoveYourWhat · 11/12/2017 23:16

I think it's like having a general anaesthetic, except you don't wake up. You just stop. Makes me feel weird to think about it though.

Viviennemary · 11/12/2017 23:19

I wish I knew. But we don't. I'd like to think there's a heaven or even reincarnation sounds feasible. Nothingness isn't very appealing either. I used to believe in this bright light at the end of the tunnel near death experience. But apparently it's just the senses shutting down.

justilou1 · 11/12/2017 23:19

I saw an interview with the Dalai Lama here in Australia and the smartarse, current affairs reporter asked him a question about Nirvana, implying that it was a place - like heaven, and the Dalai Lama corrected him, by telling him that Nirvana was a state of enlightenment, not a place. Smart arse reporter then said "But what if you're wrong?"
DL (Laughing) said "Well, I'll be dead and it won't matter anyway!"

RaindropsAndSparkles · 11/12/2017 23:21

It's like a leaf. It buds, it unfurls, it lives It's life and then it wrinkles and withers and falls. Then the cycle begins anew with our children and their children....... and if there aren't children the let's shadow fell and was noticed and their was an impact on other lives.

twotired · 11/12/2017 23:22

I have the same fear. I don't believe in heaven as such, but like to think that you continue in spirit and can visit your loved ones from time to time. We lost a few people in DH's immediate family and it comforts me sometimes to think that they 'visit'. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day shouting at my toddler I think of judgy eyes and wonder if someone is watching 😂. It isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it makes me feel better.

RaindropsAndSparkles · 11/12/2017 23:22

And some lives don't make terrible typosBlush

Original poster
TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich · 11/12/2017 23:23

Christmasmum- I like that Xmas Smile

OP posts:
sausagerollsrock · 11/12/2017 23:24

I think you go somewhere. Not sure where but I think you build another life in this place. I also think you meet again, those that have also passed away.
I can't accept we live for potentially say 100 years and then we just disappear like we never existed. most likely a load of shit but I like the idea.

Jakeyboy1 · 11/12/2017 23:25

I don't know but I do know someone mentioned "ashes" above and cremation really freaks me out. I HATE it! Why would anyone want to be burnt? (And don't give me any practical reasons I mean really why would you want to?) And my dad has made it plainly clear that's what he will want so I dread that on many levels.

TathitiPete · 11/12/2017 23:25

Well I mean I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you.

Jakeyboy1 · 11/12/2017 23:27

But to the person that mentioned ashes above - yes the flowers to an 8 year old - that's nice - just not the cremation!

80sMum · 11/12/2017 23:31

When I am dead there will be no more me. No heaven, no hell, just a simple cessation of life and that's it.

I have a daughter, who also has a daughter - and it's interesting to know that my mitochondrial DNA has been passed down another couple of generations to my granddaughter. A little bit of me in both of them - the same as my mother and grandmother and all the female line before me.

AnnabelleLecter · 11/12/2017 23:33

I think it's like being asleep forever without any dreams or waking obviously.
Make sure you have lived life to the full and have written a will.

ReanimatedSGB · 11/12/2017 23:34

I think you're just... switched off and gone, and that's OK.

73kittycat73 · 11/12/2017 23:34

I believe about 80% that there is an afterlife. I've read loads of books on NDEs and they can't all be making it up/lying.
I've always, since I was a little girl, been scared that I'll go to hell!